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I cannot explain all the pathetic measures
my eyes will take to avoid your gaze,
all the paths my legs will journey to avoid bumping into you on my way home.
All the ways I knead my hands to the bone and all the toothpick excuses skewering my tongue.
And I cannot explain the way your presence deflates something inside my chest.
I don't know what to do with all that empty space. It echoes.
I fill it with the thimble's worth of pride that I scrape together,
every meager flake of validation I pick from the floor. I shovel slopping handfuls of sawdust
to try and soak up some of the shadows
but everything dissolves in that oily void, green and hideous.
God, it echoes, and everyone hears it.
I muffle it with my radio silence.
I look at you and I see everything I hate about myself
under a microscope.
Every blemish, every scar, every gaping hole
that you lack.
Stop, look. Here. Wrong.
I blind myself with radio silence.
I don’t know how to live with an eternal reminder that I am incomplete.
You, and the place you hollowed without even knowing it.
Green and monstrous.
It echoes and everyone hears it.
I love you, but I cannot explain my radio silence.
handcrafted product of Insomnia™ let's hope i don't hate it in the morning
Zack Ripley May 13
You've filled your pretty head
With a million excuses and lies.
Stop wasting your breath;
I've seen and heard it all a million times.
Sorry, little boy,
but you're not as cute as you think.
You may think you're water in a desert,
But I'm not desperate enough to drink.
Because I may be lonely, but I'm not alone.
"Don't worry,she's just a colleague and she has a husband"

Here I am
drowning in a
pool full of my
own tears,
witnessing you
in your birthday suit
next to a woman

the same woman
you told me
not to worry
your office

the same office
you work extra
hours in everyday

Here you are,
comforting another
man's wife,
looking at the
invisible clouds on
the roof,
laughing your
lungs out,
promising her the
world that you
still owe me

forgetting my existence,
feeding her ears
the words my
ears have been
starving to hear

sharing your soul
with her,the soul
you've always said
belongs to me

you're now sharing
it with someone else
while mine is still
waiting to be fed
by yours,

I guess it will wait forever
My excuses for wild love,
not a **** cheetah.
The truth is,
the feeling does make me starve.
A loving man, but also a hungry creature.

Pardon the time I waste,
tend be doing *******
Gibberish written on my face,
many words sound garbage.
I'm a real mess, I must confess.

Mind the shattered ideas,
best to pop the bulb
Explaining myself as such isn't ideal,
but I'm not one to be loud
Much quieter in the silence of the crowd.

Excuse myself from peers,
not on the same surface of pressure
Excuse myself from kids,
off the scale who can't measure
Worth me understanding,
but also understanding depression
I'm not lessor,
but I am one to question.

Excuse me for this,
and I'll excuse you for that
Excuse me being lost at times,
life didn't come with a map.
All we do could be the last risk.

But not an excuse to never take it.
My hands reach for the door
Exhausted, just another day.

We never fight.

The smell of your perfume still lingers in the air.
Just as the day you left me.

Did you always seem to hate me?

I daydream as I fall into the couch
The life we would've had.

All alone again.

Did I betray us?
Not even a goodbye.

We never fought.

I sleep in an all too familiar place reminding myself clearly.
Out of spite.

Just like that I'm out of excuses.

fanfic made me sad hello
Mark Wanless Feb 26
poor me oh poor me
have everything i need
no excuses left
Finding a fault with an Exquisite dawn
Picking one bent grass on Perfect lawn
Being tossed over as spineless pawn
"They never cared in their endless want"
Always denied my own brush with fame
I let my routine to be all the same:
Listening to no one, assigning blame
...My excuses are always sooo lame.
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