You’re so unhappy.
And ******* but doesn’t it make you special.
Afterall no one else is unhappy;
Your pain at night is the warmest thing.
It gives you your driver’s license,
And you drive right the **** over me,
Your tire marks beneath my skin.
I catch secondhand misery from you.
You think your barbs are justified,
Baby they’re uninspired,
And just because they hurt don’t mean I need to hear them:
That’s not what truth is.
You wound because you can,
Too afraid to apologise and so you spoon out excuses
Boys have used before.
Like chunky lemon milk,
We linger past our expiration.
When I excuse
I lose the opportunity
to improve myself.
When I accept
and evaluate my self
I can then
improve my self
towards the wisdom and virtue
to achieve optimal joy and happiness.
Do you know,
you only call me
when no one else
or when you see me with someone who isn't you
mind numb and finger's racing
just for a touch closer than this
but all i find are the bottles on the counter
the music echoing through my brain
my veins pulsing
dipping below midnight and out till twilight
after dark i couldn't find you
i made an excuse for the closest body
heart numb and skin cold
just for someone other than you
but all i find is that you're a heartbreak
the smoke going through my nose
my eyes flickering
dipping into the oceans and out into the blue
after the sun rose i couldn't find you
so i made an excuse and called you anyways
you were the most
you were the last
killing me off
Saying I have feelings for you,
is just an excuse I use to hide,
the deep love I have inside.
It’s like a Tsunami and my love is the violent tide.
You’re the Hurricane that swept me off my feet.
I can still feel the Storm inside, every time we meet.
You’re an Earthquake, coz I’m shaking every time we talk.
A Volcano, I can still feel the heat even when we take a walk.
If you do care about me.
Why are you giving me a hard time about me caring about you?
I know there’s a price to pay,
but don’t make this a long day.
Won’t you give me a break ‘n let me have my way?
You’re a prime worth my time.
A diamond I can’t replace.
With a deck of cards all in place.
You’re my winning Ace.
You’re my perfect puzzle piece.
A compass in my troubling maze.
You’re my number one,
Scratch that, you’re my only one.
Who do u know to love you better?
Riddle me that.
Keep it to yourself,
Fiddle your Crap,
Love or Hate,
No Middle with that.
When I can't put my finger on it
but there was something I do remember remembering
When the memory is just a bit fractured
but it needs some clever assembling
When the brain-cave I use as a bolt hole
is a tad neglected and dark
When I look closely into my eyes as I'm shaving
but can't see much of a spark
When the tsunami of ignorance adds
up to an explanation of certainty
When Heaven is perceived as a metaphor
of a sand-grain's inner obscurity
When as a man never being any the wiser
I make a gift of my poetic imagination
When a Poem is a poem IS a poem
because of its pagination
When all I need is to be your Poet and Victim
but it's my day down for Daycare
When I accept the journey to wisdom
will cost slightly more the bus fare
When the mystery of words
is totally their negative space
When the finished lines just hang there
as if something unique has taken place
When my chain of Xcuses just ends
and I wait
Can't put my finger on the reasons for writing this...
But it kind of 'hangs' there quite well :-)
The person who I respect the most is the same person I pretend doesn’t exist when I see him walking towards me.
It’s not your fault
I have a million and one excuses why I don’t stop and bore you to tears
But not one of them could ever fix the fact that I never think of how you must feel when I do it
My insecurity turns talking to you into one of my biggest fears
Even though I say this now
I have a funny feeling I’ll do it again
And maybe you don’t even care
Or maybe you feel the same
All I know is that I don’t know
I feel like I’ve been a ******* sociopath my entire life and I’m just now realizing what emotions are
When I look back, I’ve always been selfish
My therapist said I had good reasons for that, but I never could except it
I used to be a wild child and even got thrown out of my fist daycare
Now I’m afraid people might reject me
When I look at you, I see pure confidence without ego
Yeah, maybe I’m a little jealous of you
But I’ll get there too
I think that’s why I’ve always been afraid to talk to you
I’ve felt inferior, and that’s not your fault
I tried to take some time to grow
But they say absence makes the heart grow fonder
And it did
And I started appreciating the time we had
Back then I felt like no one cared
Never realizing that I never cared for anyone else in return
It all makes sense now, but hindsight is 20/20
To me, passing by you is like passing by a celebrity
I don’t know what to do or say and I come up with 50 million reasons I should keep walking
This is so ******* stupid it’s its own level of *******, but I do it anyways.
If you managed to make it to the end of this, thank you so much. It means the world to me.
Thanks for reading my TedTalk manuscript
I think I keep my poems short
because your words
always meant less
the more you said
I felt comfortable to sit in silence with you. I'm sorry you didn't feel the same
Is destruction really so bad?
You can't build until
Whatever was there
What I am
Needs to be rebuilt
Maybe I need to face
So that I can come back
Or maybe it's just
To give in
And destroy myself