Tomorrow is but space
To do what one will
Tommorow is now
Consequence of today
So ill laugh in the face
Of myself until
I understand  how
To stay out of my way
Tomorrow ill cry
If today I wander
From what is fit
For a man to grow
So ill laugh and try
Not to squander
My time and wit
When so much better
I ought to know

Thoughts on discipline

My mind & heart
Enters into the gloom
Breaking through the walls
Into the woods of doom
Only to find a new moon!

How to tell it to me,
It will be invisible
For sometime long
Along the way
Where I belong!.

Better seek out
Something which is
More near & dear
Real without fear.

Wait if you must
Don't rush to the dust
Listen to your intuition
to bring back your
Laughable soul
Which would eventually

Make yourself whole!

A change of mindset changes everything.
I am most of the time pessimistic
Just figuring out to find some laughter
Within the pessimistic approach.
Better to die out of laughter
Rather to frowning and drown.

- DS - 25 July, 2017

Yellow is my heart,
Yellow is my blood,
Yellow is the flood that drowns me slowly.
It tells me to grow
As if there were any comfort in that
Go with the flow
As if there were any comfort in not knowing.
I have lied to myself so much
If I didn’t have to I and I would never reconcile.
Yellow is my bed,
Yellow is my stomach,
Yellow is the bucket that stays dry.
It shows me all the pain I have not had
As if there were any comfort in that.
You do not need to cry
As if there were any comfort in that.
I have raped myself so many times,
If I didn’t have to I and I would die at the sight of the other.
Yellow is my breath,
It smells a bit like stale wine,
Yellow is my mind
It looks a bit stained with too much time,
Yellow is my heart,
Yellow is my blood,
I promised not to promise anymore,
And you keep telling me to let go,
That you know,
But the walls of your home are still standing,
And I have a tendency of losing things,
Like my keys,
My father,
Why is it that I need to show my pain for it to be recognized?
Why is it that the sun still shines even when it lies?
Why is my sorrow dismissed just because I try.
I try and I will try again,
That doesn’t mean I feel less pain.
I feel pain.
I feel pain.
I feel pain.
I feel pain.

He left me for no reason.
I’ve learned that you can give the world to someone and end up with nothing.
It just stays stuck in the empty space between two people.
You know it by heart.
It’s the same place as where the broken promises lie.
Why the fuck do I still try if only those who’ve given up get medals,
if only those who’ve given up are beautiful when they cry,
if only those who’ve given up are allowed to die.

I started hating the brightest parts of myself because as much as people love light
they only find comfort in darkness.
And I find life in it.
And all of my light is flooding through my bones,
My broken bones,
It’s the only thing I want to let go of.
I promised not to promise anymore.
I put away that little box of gold,
Let it shatter on the floor,
If I break things well enough they can’t walk away from me anymore.
I am only stating what I am afraid of,
I am painting myself in ink,
painting myself in yellow.
I am but a symptom of my own fear.
And it tells me to grow.
It tells me to grow.
So I do.
So I do.

a poem i wrote during in the process of loosing my father, after being dumped and loosing my ground
like to recording :
Zan Balmore Jul 13

It was the first time I saw your eyes
that I saw you smile and say hello
It was when I saw you
watching through
vertical curtains
my burden
fell away

It was the first time I returned your
curious gaze that I got caught

I kind of like it

I think, no, know
I'll grow accustomed
To my acquaintance, freedom

I kind of like it
If you want a name, I can't say
If you want a name,
Try ecstasy

Palm Trees and Concrete Mix V3
Sun Apr 16

When you're away,
Your presence speaks

When you spoke to my mind,
Silence conquer me

When my departure was nothing to you, I lost
I lost to my "self", to love my old soul
Left as beautifully broken

That's still healing
Healing makes people stronger

My strength is stronger than my wound
My wound will forgive you

You exist and
I breathe to live a life
where I belong....

A life that embrace me
knows pain, sufferings
arises from ashes
Ashes fly, so do I
but I won't forget my roots
My root will remind me,
People grow apart
with or without love!

A H S Jul 9

Darling hold on

For I will wait
For your return

To then be in your arms
For forever and ever

Where our happiness
Will grow and be nurtured
For the rest of time.

Sarah Parker Jul 7

I once had
a beautiful voice
and you asked me
why I no longer sing.
I turned to you
and quietly replied
"because I was a bird,
and you clipped my wings."

Sarah Parker Jul 7

i may grow
from a crack in the concrete
but i still grow

as difficult as it may be
i will not let the weight
prevent me from blooming

JAC Jun 25

Little one, don't harden your heart
You're almost done, your garden, your art
Some of leaves and growth and green
The rest of paint, the beauty you've seen
Translates through you
And those who knew you
So all you see and all you leave
Are growing more than you'd believe
For you are a garden of life and seed
And while you do have all you need
You grow abundance, you've love to spare
And so, with all you know, you share
Your art, your garden, and don't despair
For they'll all remember you for this
And you've always more for whom next you kiss.

Chan S Jun 22

To Transcend
You must learn to be your own mentor, teacher, and best friend
To be independent, even of those blood connected kin.
Overstand that no one knows you as you only know yourself
From your Spiritual, Mental, Emotional, even Physical Health
It's your Balance and Abundance to your Personal Wealth
In Unison they'll flow, once you learn to open yourself.
Open your Heart to All The Possibilities    
From those that are great to all those negativities
Use each wisely and From Each You'll be sure to grow
Knowing that they were sent specially for You...
Your Heart will surely know...
Know that each Time, Opportunity, or Circumstance
For Your Soul, Your Body, Your Grace they Will Enhance
Enhance your Beauty from Deep Within
Then you'll know that you've Officially Transcended.

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