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Get beneath your peers
Crawl while in tears.
Drown inundated by consequential shame. Cause you’re the only one to blame.
Your avarice for ****** release isn’t natural.
You’ve conditioned yourself to be this abysmal.
Let your cries resonate, impregnate, and eradicate within you. A morning sickness derived from truth you will succumb to. While this truth grows and evolves within you, it will evacuate your lies behind your truth.

Sullen loneliness withers you, it’s created a monster.
One that pines for intimacy without foster.
Through this eagerness, a dull misunderstanding festers.
One where intimacy is strictly ******.
And it’s enjoyed alone on a phone, ha. How intellectual!
But the primordial need, sets you in greed.
Clear thinking leaves you, and desire is left only true.

However this brief inhuman act of disgusting ****, leaves you in a tut.
With rational thinking back after release. You’re trapped without peace.
Loneliness floods back, and on the attack, charges self reflection, without affection.
You don’t deserve affection. Just affliction.
So you grow ill from your actions.
Don’t stop this introspection. Self disgust is appropriate. So don’t take an ******.

Tenacious pithy feelings will raise your ceilings.
Embrace this self loathing. The shame will strip you of clothing. Now true to yourself and the world, unpolished and furled.
You can act on embellishments, and ignore wants and irrelevance.
I used to see us out there.

But now I see a social climber and an animal.

He is wearing better shoes.

And it's ******* gross.
Lost Jul 30
I’m drowning in ****
Spewing from my own ***
I’m in a fountain of it
I’m the figurehead vomiting
Liquid feces

I’m not rude
I’m not crass
I’m telling the truth

And sometimes
Honesty ******* stinks
Especially when the reality is
That it’s your own ******* fault
Self-sabotage
Bleeding from the walls

I’m drowning in ****
Spewing from my own ***
How long?
How long until you catch
The stifling odor
The aroma of ****
Would you stick around
Would it be worth it?

Big ******* doubt
You’ll do a 180
And turn right the **** around
Running in the opposite direction
Because you found out
That I’m full
Of
****

Come
And
Sit
Next to me
I’m laying here
Festering
Soiled and soaked
Questioning
When somebody will come along
Without leaving
When my **** stinks
Too much
Sorry if the gross imagery is a little overkill lol. Just had to get this one out. Off all my meds right now and my mind is a messy place to be.
CL Fjell Jul 6
Stuck like honey,
The budding lily shrinks and quivers.
Those sticky fingers
Grab at her colours.
At every angle they pick and choose,
And pinch at her delicate petals.
They, starving customers
And she, a farmer's market.
Breath hot like summer suns,
Mouth dripping like spring rains.
Where can she go, trapped here
Surrounded by sticky fingers.
Endure it a little longer Lily,
Your stop is up next!
Personal experience
pink Jun 21
I often find myself admiring other girls Instagram pages
Not longing for their usual sought after characteristics like their perfect clothes and long straight hair
But instead, their skinny frames

I admire how they can pose in the tiniest of swimsuits with no ounce of fat anywhere on their body
How they can wear a tube top and the shortest of shorts and others only see tan smooth legs and a tight tummy paired with a long vertical bellybutton.

I then look at myself in disgust.
I frown at the fact that my stomach will never be as flat as theirs,
I’ll always have fat gathering towards the bottom of it and I’ll always wince when somebody pokes me
Because the embarrassment of someone feeling my plushy stomach will always haunt me
Not to mention, I’ll never be able to walk outside with shorts on without the sunlight drawing attention to the little cellulite around my knees and on my thighs
Or even wear a strapless top without feeling my upper arms are too big.


I wish I saw myself how others see me
I hate my bellybutton most
pink Jun 19
No, we can’t be friends
So please stop trying.
You’re incapable of being friends with a girl without trying to get in their pants sooner or later.
And to tell you the truth, you creep me out too much to become friends with you again.
Please stop trying to meet me because really if what you have to say is so important then you’d tell me over the phone
I don’t want to see you so please stop asking me.
Things won’t ever go back to how they used to be
They can’t
I just wish I ended things sooner because maybe then you wouldn’t be calling asking for a second chance
Silver Raven May 26
They hold an untold truth,
that is linked to you.
Listen to the sounds,
As they slither around.
Coiled and twined,
Growing in size.
Latched on to your screams,
As they enter your dreams.
Fight the battle long and hard,
Until they are nothing but shards.
But the truth will still remain
until your emotions are slain.
Origin: Had a dream about a snake laying eggs that were actually maggots and they grew in various sizes. Quite disturbed honestly
Amanda Apr 17
I wish I was not beneath you
Wish I was what you desired
I guess of my bad habits
You are becoming tired
I wish I still felt pretty
Like I once did long ago
I wish you would do what’s best for you
We both know that means letting me go
I wish I deserved your love
Wish I was better than I am
I wish I cared about my well-being
But I cannot seem to give a ****
I wish it did not hurt so bad
Seeing that look upon your face
You look down on me as if
I am nothing but a disgrace
It must be really nice to be
As great and smart as you
Do you remember though
I used to be like that too?
Over the years I’ve changed
Because of the drugs
Felt so much pain
I’m not who I was
I do not know how I’ve become
The monster you now see
You could never hate anything
As fiercely as I hate me
I wish I didn’t disgust you
Though you have every right
I understand the reason you scowl
When I am a ****** disturbing sight
I apologize for every hurtful word I say
And repelling thing I do
I wish that who I am
Was enough for you
Take me as I am or watch me as I go
Stuck in a straight jacket
That detaches from humanities
That disables civilized thinking
It strangles your insides
And steals compassion
And your breath of life
Withers inside this chasten

In this rubber room
Who’s pads make up your apathetical existence
You rot here like the ***** you take
You die here
Unless you bleed yourself of disrespect
Unless you bleed yourself of disinterest
Unless you bleed yourself of narcissism

Who cares
Your worthless in this state anyway
Find purpose in empathy

Or die here
Exist out of the minds of others
Others who have collective respect
Collective understanding
Collective empathy
And open mindedness

You’re locked here cause you prejudge
Guarded by your own stubbornness
You don’t accept
That you don’t know everyone’s story
You can’t know
You judge anyway

That hippie over there
He’s not a ***** loser
He has a family he loves
Worked hard in construction
And overcame a destructive alcohol and drug abuse
He’s better than you
He’s empathetic
Loving
Understanding
And embraces everyone
Got caught up in my disgusting mind. How ***** I am. Judging people I know nothing about. I hate it. Pathetic.
Spill your sickening contradictions.
Try to snow those you perceive as weak.
Distract us with your predictions.

Hide crucial evidence for “sterilization”.
To numb the populous and make them weep.
Spill your sickening contradictions.

Preach what you don’t practice, it’s just operations.
Invoke decree, and let it steep.
Distract us with your predictions.

The poor are there for your oppression.
Smile and wave, lock evil in your keep.
Spill your sickening contradictions.

You “speak for the weak”. What fiction!
We’ve been snowed by those who steep.
Distract us with your predictions.

You repugnant charlatans.
Snow is with your projections.
Spill your sickening contradictions.
Distract is with your predictions.
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