there's a place i want to take you it's not very far the miles we will travel reveal who you are little by little giggle by giggle take my hand, solve this riddle between us I've seen us on a movie screen I know this scene you will be my queen your eyes I have seen
great words, today, are flowing from the authur what will be the message delivered, to you, the observer how will each individual interrupt what is composed it is not the author's duty to unravel written reflections the chore in the written word is subject to reflection what do you see?
Untied shoelaces, Untied heart, Her words flowing freely from Her mind, Her black boots tapping a rhythm Known only to Her. Her eyes bloomed like Orchids When she blinked, And her chocolate fountain hair Spilled over her gray graphic tee, The messy bun Unraveling As her thoughts slowly Unraveled Themselves onto the page.
In less than a second and for no reason at all I'll revert to who I was before I felt fixed.
Or perhaps not turn, just remember that I am still just half of my whole.
Or not remember, just forget and sink into a sickness, the bad habits that still linger.
But regardless of the reason suddenly and all at once I slip back into a state I worked so hard for so long to escape. Watch my labours unravel and realize I am no better than I was then.
The facade cracks and the feelings flood the infection set loose.
It starts in my stomach turns my blood black sinks my chest in so that I can't breathe and don't want to.
It numbs my toes and my fingers draws the very idea of happiness out of me as I exhale and wish it was my last.
then my brain stalls immersed in a fog eyes unwilling to focus, unable to focus, on anything but the pitch inside bubbling in my throat suffocating me
my mind becomes possessed by thoughts that are mine but not in my control making my world spin in the circles my thoughts trace
the dam behind my eyes burst and my feelings wash over me out of me and suddenly I want nothing to do with you nothing ever to do with you never to see you to ask you to please take your leave since you've left me anyways so that I never have to feel like this again never suddenly feel again the hole you carved for yourself the empty place you left behind please never again see all the love you poisoned never feel it course through my veins realizing the love had nowhere to go but circulate within me trying to run from me run to you slicing exits for my red love to leave so I don't have to feel the pain within just the pain that's real please let go I can see our futures in an instant how much it will hurt to see you move on and how much it hurts to realize I have not from my stationary spot in my living lie that I tell myself so that I get up in the morning with the courage to survive the day the day that includes you will always include you and it hurts so much of course it hurts so much still will for a while.
I blink and it's over. Colour rushes back into my world. Life rushes back into my body. I smile, and laugh, and thrive in this new normal even if a part of me knows it isn't.