Have you ever wondered
Why people fear heights?
It is not because they fear
That they would fall and die.
But how much is it
That you know about that height
Is what rings bells in their minds.
It is the fear of the unknown,
Not of the uncertain future
But of the unknown present.
But I do not fear heights.
I fear depths
Immeasurable and unknown.
It sucks you down
Never to bring you up again.
You enjoy the fall
Because it is free.
You enjoy the uncertainties of life
Until you start questioning yourself
When do you land?
Where do you land?
Do you even land?
Or do you keep falling and falling
Until you get sucked up
By your own self?
It is then that you drown
Because the ocean deceives you.
It may seem to you
That the arms of the ocean
Is what is carrying you down
Until you realise that
They were not meant to comfort you.
You give it your all
And it takes it all
With even no consolations as return.
I did not ask for it but you came;
Just like a shining armor, out of the grey.
You gave me a warm smile,
that I just can't get used to as the days go by.
A smile, that I thought was just for mine.
The times with you, it wasn't long enough.
But enough, to end my night like a diamond, that brights.
All the memories you gave,
Did not shatter until this day.
I saw you.
I saw you with a new one.
You wore the same smile.
The smile you had when I was that one.
I thought there was something,
I thought I was special.
London - Oxford
City Road - Broad street
Mail Centre - Inbox
Beginning - Waiting
Star - Crossed
Alternate - Universe
Crush - Class
Artwork - Gallery
Elevator - Replay
Yours - Daydream
Scarlet - Red
Speechless - Breath
Cool - Across
Extremely - Intelligent
Miraculously - Boy
Awkwardness - Freckles
Kinda - Like
Corner - Paris
Un - Usual
Et - Hereal
u - r
- Fall in love of all about you
-Codelandandmore // 19:59 ©
I was told from a young age that I wasn't good enough. More so implied, but regardless, that thought had been permanently etched in every section of my brain, so that I'd never forget it. I never did. I was manipulated, stepped on, and discarded to the point where even if i tried to, I couldn't forget it. Their words made me feel like an outsider in my own body. I wanted so badly to dig my nails do deeply into my skin that I would be able to rip my skin off and become a new person. I wanted to find the last fragments of myself that hadn't been destroyed but truth is, there wasn't any. I had been corrupted head to toe. Most people think words are harmless and just ricochet off the surface of their skin, and have no effect on them whatsoever. For me, their words went in every cell in me, stuck in every artery, and every single piece of tissue, and radiated through my bones and ruined me. They ruined me. I was ruined. They had stole this innocence I was had in me, and threw me in this endless abyss of self loathe and insecurity. I was once snow, still am, but before I was white snow. I was white snow in a sense that I was once pure and innocent as I fell from the sky. Once I touched the ground, my purity vanished, and I became my current state of gray snow. Gray snow is ruined my people, by society, it is stepped all over and overall corrupted to the point where nobody acknowledges it anymore. It isn't as interesting and beautiful as white snow, it's dull and useless. Nobody likes the dull gray snow, not even the gray snow itself.
Feeling like you're misunderstood,
Nobody asking or worrying about you because they can't even spare the time to ask about how you're doing,
Hey, what's on your mind?
I look back and tell them don't mind, me.
Don't bother to ask,
If you weren't here to approach me firsthand,
Then I guess you just won't fully comprehend,
I have what it takes to win a million,
I'm one in a million, yet I'm still stuck here expressing how I'm feeling,
I got that open opportunity,
If I fail in my education then I know for sure that they'll be no you and me,
I open my eyes and try to realize,
Grasp onto the real life,
Try to help out, yeah I try,
But what nobody realize-s,
That I'm all alone,
On this anonymous journey,
Man I know this probably sounds like tons of their stories,
But this is the truth,
What I tell about is real,
If it wasn't then the truth would be set as another stupid fairytale,
Oh please don't,
Don't wipe your eyes listening to my bad feels,
It's going to hit hard,
When you actually think about how hard life, really is.
It'll knock you on the ground,
Get you aired out, but then slowly lift you back high in the air,
The atmosphere is so cloudy and complicated,
You're lost up in the stars,
Got no bright light to shine you a guide,
Oh damn it's about that time,
Of wrapping everything up-
Putting it right back to the same box that was here.
Goodbye my dear,
I'll assume you'll see me next time.
love pollutes the soul
forcing us to make assumptions
and forcing us to make sacrifices
all for one goal - love
love intoxicates our minds
forcing us to make the incorrect decisions
and forcing us to say words we never meant
all for one goal - love
love poisons those who fall in it
ultimately tearing them apart from each other
and breaking the connection they had
all due to one goal - love