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ShininGale May 17
ℑ𝔱 π”΄π”žπ”° 𝔢𝔬𝔲𝔯 π”£π”žπ”²π”©π”± 𝔱π”₯𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔦π”ͺ𝔒,
𝔱π”₯𝔒𝔢 𝔴𝔒𝔯𝔒 π”žπ”«π”€π”―π”Ά π”Ÿπ”’π” π”žπ”²π”°π”’ 𝔬𝔣 𝔰𝔬π”ͺ𝔒𝔱π”₯𝔦𝔫𝔀 𝔢𝔬𝔲 𝔑𝔦𝔑.
𝔅𝔲𝔱 𝔴π”₯𝔢 𝔑𝔦𝔑 β„‘ π”₯π”žπ”³π”’ 𝔱𝔬 π”°π”žπ”Ά 𝔰𝔬π”ͺ𝔒𝔱π”₯𝔦𝔫𝔀,
𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔱π”₯𝔒 π”±π”žπ”Ÿπ”©π”’π”° π”žπ”―π”’ 𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔒𝔑.

β„‘'π”ͺ 𝔰𝔲𝔯𝔒 𝔢𝔬𝔲'𝔳𝔒 π”₯π”’π”žπ”―π”‘ π”žπ”«π”‘ 𝔱π”₯𝔬𝔲𝔀π”₯𝔱 𝔱π”₯π”žπ”± β„‘ 𝔑𝔦𝔑 𝔰𝔬π”ͺ𝔒𝔱π”₯𝔦𝔫𝔀 π”Ÿπ”žπ”‘ π”žπ”€π”žπ”¦π”«,
π”Ÿπ”²π”± π”₯𝔒𝔢 β„‘ 𝔧𝔲𝔰𝔱 π”°π”žπ”¦π”‘ 𝔱π”₯π”žπ”± 𝔱π”₯𝔒𝔢 𝔰π”₯𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔑𝔫'𝔱 π”°π”žπ”Ά 𝔱π”₯π”žπ”± 𝔱𝔬 𝔢𝔬𝔲...
𝔑𝔬𝔴, 𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔨 π”žπ”± π”ͺ𝔒 𝔫𝔬𝔴. β„‘ π”΄π”žπ”° 𝔱𝔬𝔩𝔑 𝔱𝔬 𝔰π”₯𝔲𝔱 𝔲𝔭.

π”“π”―π”¬π”Ÿπ”žπ”Ÿπ”©π”Ά π”°π”žπ”¦π”‘ 𝔦𝔱 𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔬𝔣 π”£π”’π”žπ”― 𝔬𝔯 π”±π”―π”žπ”²π”ͺπ”ž,
π”Ÿπ”’π” π”žπ”²π”°π”’ 𝔢𝔬𝔲𝔯 π”žπ”°π”°π”²π”ͺ𝔭𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔦𝔰 π”žπ”©π”΄π”žπ”Άπ”° π”₯𝔲𝔯𝔱𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔱π”₯π”žπ”« 𝔱π”₯𝔒𝔦𝔯 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔑𝔰.
𝔗π”₯𝔦𝔰 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 π”Ÿπ”’ 𝔱π”₯𝔒 π”©π”žπ”°π”±, β„‘ 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 π” π”žπ”―π”’ π”žπ”± π”žπ”©π”©.
π”…π”’π” π”žπ”²π”°π”’ 𝔱π”₯𝔒𝔯𝔒'𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱π”₯𝔦𝔫𝔀 𝔩𝔒𝔣𝔱 π”žπ”± π”žπ”©π”©.
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It was you who pulled the trigger again, this wasn't what I originally wrote but hey it's gone now. I remember writing how the tables were turned after they called you disrespectful - But maybe, prolly, actually, out of anxiousness I lowkey stopped them because I know you'll blame me again. But guess what, I know you always did whenever I'm the one who started... whatever you do along the way doesn't matter, right? Today I was even told that I fear you more than my mother, nah I don't fear anyone, it's just that I'm tired of your cutting assumption, perception and words that is slowly making me believe that I'm always wrong. I don't want to care no more, because out of all - I hate to lose myself.
And if I grow, the harvest will be mine and only mine
Because I am my own and you are yours.

The soil does not reap the rewards of the roots which brought forth spring bloom nor autumn crop.
The cloud which carried rainfall does not demand praise for the leaves it fed.
The sun does seek praise for the flower its rays coaxed heavenward
And you will not take credit for my soul and it’s abundance.
That is between me and my creator.
Nala Alfira Sep 2021
you build me a castle
but you give me no room
to be myself
to feel myself
noah Jan 2021
i know he's not mine
has never been mine

but i wanna be his favorite
the kind of girl he'll never forget
i wanna be the kind of girl
that you can't help but regret
i know i'm nothing special
just another ex
but godfuckingdammit
i wanna be the best

always fighting that urge for control
the urge to break a heart and hold it just out of reach
pull people in and then push them back
keep them just far enough, so they cant help but stay
without ever touching me, or breaking my heart
and turning out more and more
empty, angry, painful people
just. like. me.
how do you not hate me yet?
Sydney Dec 2020
She was full of life with a hunger for adventure.

Everyday she traveled to the ends of the earth to bring you back all of the happiness that you needed to sooth your racing soul.

But no matter how treacherous the journey, she always persisted, she would never let you down.

But as each day passed, each journey got harder and each time she returned, more exhausted than before and the happiness and joy that she wanted to share with you was never good enough - no matter how hard she tried.

Each song that she showed you, you said wasn’t your taste

Each accomplishment she was proud of, you were less than impressed

Each smile was never quite bright enough

Stomach not flat enough, hair not soft enough, kisses not sweet enough, each blink not quick enough, each breath not shallow enough.

Her mind was never sharp enough to keep up with your greatness.

Because you were royalty, the ruler or all, controller of time. But that is only how you saw yourself. The rest saw you as a crazed puppeteer trying to control the uncontrollable.

Which is quite the feat,
but you cracked the code.

Tell me,
How do you control the uncontrollable?

You break what isn’t meant to be broken until the point of being unfixable. But you fix them and break them like a record on repeat.

Showing them that you are the only one who can fix it, but like god you can take it away

So the girls who dreamt about falling in love walk on eggshells each day as to not **** it up.

To spare themselves from the verbal berating of
β€œi’m the only one who will ever care”
and the
β€œno one will ever love you like i do”
and the best of them all
β€œno matter how hard you try, you are and will never be good enough.”

When a lie is told too many times you believe it to be true.

Forever the ball and chain on the ankle keeping them grounded when the winds of someone new would come by.

Because who wants a girl who is damaged?

The instructions are shredded and in a language I don’t understand.

People come and they go, fixing and tweaking, leaving and taking parts along the way.

Forever a mismatch, an unmatched sock that you just throw out.

But someone, somewhere will help her understand her unreadable instructions
To fulfill a psychopath’s pleasurable dream while under psychological stress is rather an unorthodox way to keep your mind ******* on tight.
don’t do it β€” you would unmistakably lose yourself in the end if you treat yourself to these people’s wishes. do not fall to the manipulative appearance of a potential lover, for there is more charm amongst the living right-minded people.
Amanda Hawk Jul 2020
Don’t ask me to thank you
For splintering me apart
Until I am only slivers
To pick your teeth with
Jagged are these words
And I am the one torn
Tape only lasts so long
Then you are falling apart again
So keep your promises
Your actions tell me otherwise
Stewie May 2020
That night after you dumped me on the phone
I couldn’t stop crying.
My sister gave me a Xanax and my parents took us to Golden Corral.
I turned numb.
Now after 10 years later
You want to reconcile.








No.
Don’t go back to an ex.
muteD Jan 2020
A mother’s touch is
suppose to be tender,
one you would lean into.
But, instead
I would flinch.
Not for fear of any physical pain
she could cause me
but only because
she never touches me.

β€œyou are really damaged”
21 years of searching for
a mother’s love
will do that to you.
Searching for that missing piece
and hoping that if you do everything
she wants and everything
you can possibly do to help her
that maybe,
just maybe,
you’ll finish the puzzle and
she’ll love you.
Which is absurd because
she won’t
and she can’t.
How can a mother love her children
when she knows of no love herself?

Cat and mouse..
A game I’ve always hated
but a game I know all too well.
because she always flaunts
what she knows I want
right in my face.
She knows what I crave
and how to make me weak.
My one true weakness,
Family.
Well, the idea of one
because I have never had one before.
A family to call mine?
One that would love me unconditionally
and honestly?
The universe has
a sense of humor after all
and it’s Me.
My whole life I’ve been looking for the love only a mother can provide.. needless to say, that search is over and I have turned up empty handed.
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