I miss you more than words can express,
but I must try anyway.
The issue, the core of this whole mess:
I'm dust since you went away.
.
I think of you ten times a day,
tormented by memories:
a wink, a joke you would say -
lost in my reveries.
.
And I only really smile
when I replay our greatest hits;
It's been lonely for a while,
Gone astray, falling to bits.
.
I pray, I do, though I'm not sure
if I deserve to have you back,
or if oblivion could even cure
this tattered soul, this crystal crack.
.
Fare thee well, my shooting star,
wherever you might land;
For I have fell from you too far,
forever changed by your hand.
.

is it the golden threads of fate
or your puppet strings on my hand?

Your grumpy face in the mornings,
Your exhausted sigh in the evenings
Every late night until late breakfasts,
Every sunset that makes us whisper "at last"
All that makes us ourselves, all that's true
are all the reasons that makes me love you.
Catching the sunrise, breathing in the ocean breeze during the heat of summer.
Watching the snowfall and embracing the freeze during the hell of winter.
Our hands are locked through it all
These are the daily, mundane moments
I don't mind living with you and leaving with you for every rise and fall.

Please intertwine your routines with mine
Won't you spend sunsets with me
in the summertime?
I am not one to believe in forever after,
but I am one with you
for all seasons and weather.

Your sweat dripping and mixing with mine
Your sudden ramblings and whine
The uneven summer sun tans
The reds and scratches on your back
All natural, and all I ever want
These are the things
I daydream on the daily.
These are the days
I imagine myself living.
Your absence,
the single worst lethal threat
Your face,
so close while catching our breaths
Our hands,
always there for each other to hold.
All these makes for the moments
that makes our love worthy of it all.

Oh I beg you to please annoy me.
Cause me all these inconveniences.
Come closer, stop being such a tease.
Make me the most vexed woman to exist.

Your jacket with your trademark scent
Your deep-set eyes makes my knees bend
The sonorous sound of your laugh
The accidental touch from your hand
Occasional, yet each are monumental
These are the things I dream
of having even just once.
These are the moments I crave
the taste of, even just an ounce.
Your hands on my hair
Us breathing in the same air
Our hands, intertwined
These are the turning moments
I'll play on my turntable on rewind

Oh spoil me, please spoil me
Give me all these life's luxuries
Come closer, hold me, give it all to me
Make me the richest woman to ever exist.

i dont want to sleep.
i want to keep chasing stardust on lips i'll never taste,
reaching for jupiter when she shines so brightly in the sky,
reminding me of all that could've been—
could still be.
never was.

god, these sleepless hours,
the way the stories chase themselves around my head,
louder than dreams too fleeting.

there's a silence here, in the night,
when everything is still.
a promise that everything could be okay.
could be.

and then the dawn puts stardust to bed,
and i'm left chasing something
i never even got a taste of.

like icarus flying too close to the sun,
i reached out and touched a spark that was never meant for me,
an open flame that burned me alive
and snuffed out all the life around.

we get high and kiss on your couch
i think i’ve seen this film before
mouth pressed to mouth

it’s the same story
every boy i’ve fallen for
just wanted me for ****
every one i thought i loved
just wanted me temporarily

i’m falling for you
i whisper as you fall asleep
the words come out thickly
the taste bittersweet

i call you when i’m lonely or think about him
i’m wrapped in your arms and it’s 3am
but i can’t do this anymore, i can’t do it again

i don’t think i like this game, the stakes have become too high
i’m in freefall and you’re just watching with uncaring eyes
so i’ll give it a month before you make me cry

i think about the girls who come to your show
they’ll get in your car, and you’ll take them home
because you don’t really need me, not at all
i’m just your pocket *****, your friend, your living willing doll  

friends with benefits doesn’t exist
it’s friends or lovers
or someone using another

so you don’t want a relationship
but thats all i want
but i guess i’m satisfied being your placebo girlfriend, your glorified ****

I'll unravel our thread before it's even spun
my dreaming and my pining and my manifestations
they'll be smoke choking out our garden before it's even planted

you shape my waking hours
I try to pick a nice perfume
I make sure I leave early
I look around just to see you for a fleeting moment
and I smile when I do

I pace just to daydream of you
your hands on my hips, your lips on mine
I turn the lights off early
and as I drift off to sleep, I pretend I’m in your arms

I could scream it from the rooftops
(if it weren’t a secret)
you’re my muse, you’re my one wish
I want you, and only you