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Emily Dec 4
Golden hour turns to dusk
And thoughts of you begin to pile up
I think about your lips and your hands
and the way you used to say my name
I came to try and clear my mind
to look at tall, golden grass and the winter sea
listen to the wind and the gulls cry
I think about your eyes and your shoulders
and the way your fingers felt running through my hair
I came to try and erase your name from my heart
But all I can think about is you
and your laugh and the smell of paint
and the way the sand felt beneath our feet
Emily Dec 4
I woke up thinking about you
In the way the afternoon sun filtered through the clouds
Painting the autumn leaves gold
I looked at the late lavender skies
And saw something magical
When I think of magic and miracles,
I think of you
Emily Dec 4
He's got strong, sure hands. Steady with wide palms. My hands always shake, never settle. Twitch and tap and vibrate with an energy I've always struggled to calm. All of me is kind of like that.

I didn't love him, yet. But I can admire art when I see it.
falling in love with your best friend is tricky
Emily Dec 4
You’re licking your lips
And you’re loosening your collar
And I’m trying not to feel like the world is ending
Emily Dec 3
He won’t get another chance this time.
I’ll mourn.
Let him haunt me in fragments of memories.
A ghost. A whisper on the wind.
I need to burn sage. Perform an exorcism. Expel him and his voice and his smile, from my mind and my heart.
Emily Dec 3
I loved him— in this terrible, grasping way. Like vines wrapping around and around until I couldn't breathe, and the entirety of the wold was minuscule compared to the life inside of him. Because he was universes within universes; stars in his eyes, the sun in his hair, rich and golden and deserving of more than every ounce of love I could possibly conjure.
Emily Dec 3
Trust no one.
Not even boys with cute smiles.
Not even boys who are so close to being
magic it hurts to look at them.
Emily Dec 3
Every time he smiled it was though the ground was opening beneath my feet, ready to swallow me whole— a never ending fall, and I was certain I would not reach the bottom, that I'd keep falling, stomach in my throat, heart pounding, breath quickening.
Emily Dec 3
Green eyes, dark hair, and pink, pink lips
Weak, naive, foolish
No, no, no.
Do not take the softest parts of me and use them as a weapon.
Turning my beauty into thorns for your own satisfaction.
All of my love, all of my trust, all of these treasures I’ve held so tight to since childhood
Nurtured and grew behind walls I opened for you.
You see innocence as a *******. You see love as something that is cold. Something rare and far between.
Oh, but don’t you know? We all loved freely once, before men like you made it seem hopeless.
Took the light and turned it into poison on your tongue.
Love is not a weakness, trust is not naivety, openness is not foolish.
Your fear has warped what others value.
What I value.
No, no, no.
Do not project your insecurities, your lack of passion onto me.
I do not have too much. It is you who has too little.
Emily Dec 3
I miss my friend. Before the tension built and the tightness in my heart began to bring tears to my eyes.

I miss my friend. He always answered after the first ring. He’d always come right away. Whenever I needed him. Whenever I was helpless and lost. He was there. I never waited more than a minute.

I miss my friend. When the love was simple, and the laughter came in plenty. Quick wit and raucous happiness.

I miss my friend. In quiet simplicity. Music soft and the air reeking of paint, and all we discussed, all we saw, were colors, colors, colors.
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