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Ash 1d
you shape my waking hours
I try to pick a nice perfume
I make sure I leave early
I look around just to see you for a fleeting moment
and I smile when I do

I pace just to daydream of you
I imagine how you’d compliment my work
I turn the lights off early
and as I drift off to sleep, I pretend I’m in your arms

I could scream it from the rooftops
(if it weren’t a secret)
you’re my muse, you’re my one wish
I want you, and only you
Ash 1d
dreams of happily ever after slip through my fingers when I wake
when they fade, I wilt
ever so gently

but when his eyes cross my face—
oh, and that laugh—
I bloom, I flourish
I’d let his light take me to woods unknown
for just a moment, I am loved
until reality takes me
Ash 4d
poinsettias and
pine needles and
cranberry spice and

the golden lights reflected in your eyes,
your hand rising to touch my face, and


you dissolve back into the pool of my daydreams,
our memories swept downstream in the river of my mind
gone as quick as they came, cold, unforgiving, never mine
joey Nov 28
i want someone to call me babe
in a way that they really mean it
i want someone to pull me into their arms
look me right in the eyes
and call me babe
like im their whole world
like i could really do no wrong
that they would always look at me as im in the stars
i want to be told that im the light of someones life
i want them to call me babe
lovingly, teasingly, sweetly
i want the sweet caresses
the gentle touches
the sneaky glances
i want someone to call me babe
i want them to really mean it
i dont want it just platonically
i want it romantically too
i want it gently
whispered to me over the phone
or in passing conversation
i want it to feel fulfilling
loving and sweet
i want someone to call me babe
and to really mean it
to know that someone wants me to be theirs
in that way
its different
i used to think it was corny
but now i crave it
yearn for it like a late night snack
or the warmth of moms hot chocolate
i think i want it so badly
because i know it would fit me just right
writing has been a bit of a chore lately, and yet my thoughts have become prose.
i hope you enjoy
Rhea Jun 13
There are ways in which I let myself indulge in your presence
And when I can pretend that were more than what we are
When I pretend to absentmindedly move my leg so it just so happens to touch yours
And I feel the burning of the contact even through the fabric that separate us
It feels as big of a declaration of love as screaming the words out loud would be
I find myself creating and following these intricate rituals to create contact when I know there shouldn’t be any
I pretend to forget things at your house just so that I may see you again even for a moment
Today I drank alcohol even though I knew that I shouldn’t mix it with my medications
I fell into a dream state where the world felt warm, and right and in that room alone with you I knew I belonged nowhere else
In that dimly lit room I saw you in the light that I’ve been avoiding seeing you in
Because when I looked at your hands they seemed so soft and like they would fit perfectly in mine with interlocked fingers
I saw your skin glowing and as I looked at the way you shined I found my self unable to concentrate because of how in love with you I felt
Rhea Jun 13
I’m drunk on peach wine
And you’re just a text away
I don’t know why you went back to them
It hurts my heart to see
That taking a break didn’t change anything
It breaks my heart to see
How you’re treated when you show any emotion
It breaks my heart to see
The ways in which I could do better
It hurt terribly when you told me that you had gone back
To where you were once so miserable
Every time you tell me a new wrong
It makes me see red
Because I know you deserve so much better
Than to be ridiculed and used as an ego boost
I am so full of these secrets
And it feels like they may leak out of me
I feel like I can never tell you any of this

A few nights ago I made a small confession
And just that felt like I had gone too far
It didn’t change anything
Except to make everything uncertain
I hate not knowing could have been
Or what could be
Because every time i turn around
I see a new memory that we made
And it reminds me of the gentle love you radiate
The love that I crave more of

I don’t know

There’s a hole in my heart that you would fill
But I can’t overstep
And risk losing what we have
I’m lonely as it is
I couldn’t take losing you
It would **** me
Both figuratively and literally
I would die if I didn’t have what I can get
And that feels manipulative
And I hate myself for it
I just
I just love you
I just love you a lot
I just love you a lot more than I should
Louise May 16
But he's out there standing tall,
making a difference
while I'm sitting here, falling short,
staying the same.

But he's far away, far-sighted
and breaking new grounds,
while I'm at arm's length, half-blind
and on the verge of breaking his heart.

And every day he's fulfilling
a bigger purpose.
And come what may, I am only
writing of sad proses.

And he's moving relentlessly,
he's ever-growing.
And I'm staying stuck and dry,
I am simply withering.

From his stares,
I would most likely seem small.
And I think he knows
by now he have won.

With his touch,
I would most likely feel like a little girl.
And I'm trying to grow
So I'll try to go...
Louise May 11
What do you say to fear when it settles in?
Do you ask it to leave?
Do you run away from it?
Or do you look it in the eye
and crawl closer in?
Do you befriend it?
Or do you swear it's enemy?
Do you set it on fire, cover its tracks?
Or do you run your hands
tenderly down its cheeks?

What do you do when fear takes over?
Do you fight it?
Or do you ask it of its favorite color?
Do you talk to it too soon
about the weather and the future,
hoping it leaves on its own so soon, too?
Or do you savour it slowly day by day,
and pray every night that it will stay?
Do you decide that you are bigger than mere emotions, or do you embrace that such a feeling can overpower even your body?

And what do you do when fear
finally runs away?
Do you kneel and thank the good heavens,
or do you bow and beg hell for it to return?
Do you stay in bed, curl up and cry,
or do you defy and run
the hundreds of miles?
Do you ask for it to stay
and settle down with you?
Do you surrender
and ask it to take over you?
Do you stay and surrender,
do you settle down and take over each other?
Do you accept the where and when
of the right here and right now,
or do you decide that there is no forever;
that even fear can flourish into brand new feelings, take you to new heights,
so new that you have no choice but to embrace it,
accept that such feelings can indeed overpower
your body, mind and spirit,
and encompass your logic, reason
and instincts?

Tell me, look me in the eye...
Crawl closer in...
Set me on fire, run your hands tenderly down my cheeks...
What do you say?
What do you do?
In this poem, the basic human feeling of fear is personified as the writer's lover. The writer portrays bouts of confusion, excitement and asks anxious questions, mostly whether if she should run away from from her lover out of fear or if she should draw him closer by her side. At the end of the piece, the writer finally asks her lover what he would say and do, alluding that her lover too, feels fear towards her or their relationship.
rayma Mar 2018
what is love?
no, really.

is it liking the same person for months on end
with no hope of freeing your heart?
is it finding beauty in all of their flaws,
warmth in their smile,
and strength in their skeletons?
is it fighting like hell to let them go
when they’ve found somebody else
and you want them to be happy,
but it feels like you’re breaking inside?
is it finally being freed when you least expect it,
those feelings vanishing in the blink of an eye
as you finally let someone else in?
is it seeing them for the first time in forever,
the way they look at you rekindling that **** spark
you thought – maybe even hoped – had been extinguished?
is it being so scared of telling them the truth,
of losing them again,
but this time for good?
is it setting aside that thing they might requite because
being with them,
ignoring the need to reach out and hold them,
ignoring how your heart swells when they smile,
flutters when they meet your eye,
shines when they wrap their arms around you –
all of that is worth so much more than the possibility
that they may never love you back.

is it you, my love?
could you really be my first love?
i have never been here before,
never once wondered if the things i feel
could be more.
why you?
you were never the man of my dreams,
no love of books holding you together at the seams,
no fondness for writing leaving ink when you bleed.
yet every word you speak makes me smile,
every time you mumble,
or slur,
or stumble,
every breath you take only makes me crumble,
falling deeper than i was before.

is it you, my love?
could you really be my first love?
could you ever look past the mistakes i’ve made
and love me back in the same way?
maybe this is what closure feels like
rayma Oct 2017
i wanted so bad for you to love me
as i loved you;
in the way that never falters,
never wavers, no matter how hard i try to stop it.
i look at you and wonder what would happen
if i could just take that step forward,
looked you in the eye,
and confessed it all.

i have made many mistakes,
but there are none i regret
quite as much as those i made with you.
i pushed you away because i never thought
that anyone like you could look at anyone like me
for the right reasons.
in your sweet words i saw something more:
a starry-eyed sixteen-year-old so easily swayed,
small, fragile, so easy to manipulate.
i slammed the door shut on all we could have been
because i was too afraid
of letting the wrong person in.
and while i waited again for your knock at my door,
i wondered if i must first invite you back.

my knock was so soft i thought you wouldn’t hear,
but the handle turned and my heart skipped a beat.
with an unsure smile i turned to face
a blue-eyed reminder that i was too late.
i swore to myself i would forget about you,
let you be happy with whomever you choose,
because maybe all i ever wanted was for you to be happy,
not for your heart to be mine.

to my surprise, after many months had passed,
it took confessing my feelings to find a path
that would lead me to forgetting you
and all of the things we could never be.
i was no longer tied to my missed chance,
and once again my heart was opened
to the world ahead.

oh, but my silly reader,
did you think it ended there?
when i cleaned up the pieces i left one behind,
and in the dense air of fall
i listened as he sang the words to a well-loved song.
he fell so deep into the music as i fell so deep into him,
and just like the orange streetlights hanging overhead,
the spark i had lost flickered back to life.

so now i will start all over again,
wondering if my missed chance
will come knocking again.
a partial revision from when i was 16. this one is being difficult!
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