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Shea Oct 8
If this is health,
what the **** is sickness?
I'm tired of being the one
Who has to be the one
To give a ****
What happens when
I want to give up?
What happens then when
I have step up
and be the one to fix the problem
when the problem is me
me, I, myself
I caused this wreck
this body I'm in
has hurt more people than
to begin with
to rid of my problems
I must change
but changing means
accepting I'm the problem
and what if
I know I am
and knowing I'm a problem
makes me want to rid of who I am
for good
Shea Sep 15
A questionable cause,
conformed in my mind
Poisoned solutions
And pollution behind my eyes
Behind those eyes
I used to know
What I was like

A scratch to see what's underneath
A familiar smell
Of bleak recollections

Wish life repeated level headed

The devil's armada
Subliminal poison
Shea Sep 15
Familiar sights,
I'm covered in bites
and the ants crawl
and the night falls.
Spring comes,
lights aspire
King's set fire
October, the time of falling
Time has no meaning, it is tainted
and our lives are painted.
Wrote this in 2016. One of my favorites/most memorable.
dexter Aug 23
A drowning person is not troubled by the falling rain
Embracing pain I've ignored far too long
Chasing dragons, suspended in denial.

I am delusional with love.
Bruised, eluding these illusions.
Cling to what feels safe.
Cold, calculated; Jaded smile.
I'm hiding behind it all my nasty habits and the tragedies of my past.
A mystery, or just a loser encased in egotistical gluttony?
Can you find me?
honeyed Aug 16
i wish youd hurry up and hate me
i just want you to degrade me
im tired of waiting
i feel like im deteriorating
across the bedroom i see your eyes dilating
but im just spacing
i should feel elated
but all i feel is jaded
as i lay here stark naked
all i can think about
is you leaving for college
while im left here, looking for solace

i knew what i was getting into
so why do i want to miss you?
you were supposed to be a distraction
how was i supposed to know my heart would have such a reaction?
Shea Jul 24
I have this feeling that I wanna go home,
But I'm in my room
I have this feeling that I am not where I am supposed to be
But this is where I'm told to be
Pao Jun 13
sweat dripping from my thighs
grey tank glued on me
i still got you on my mind
the world ending right before my eyes
murders crying wolf
my generation getting gassed and kidnapped
in the streets of LA, MIA, NYC, BA, CIN
drowning my days with tyler, the creator
humming to me
hoping to feel something
the way you used to make me feel
when we parted ways until our next life time

politicians hungry to violate civil rights
black, brown, trans
manifesting it in their dreams
they have it written in human blood
without a mask on to shield them
from the disease that is their greed

my perception jaded
my thoughts paralyzed
my body aching
might hit that pen
can’t even pick up a pen
having more time than my 20 years of existence
Don’t know what I’m doing here.
You’re so far out my league, but
I saw you standing there
And I knew I had to speak.
I swear
I’m not usually this shy.

I’m not tryna be your guy.
The last one left you jaded.
I wanna make you smile
And maybe get faded.
I swear,
There’s something waiting for us tonight.
And I
Know I’ve been drinking
But I
Really have been thinking
Of you.
What I say is true,
I just wanna be in your world.
Cody Smith Apr 15
In other words; you were forced down my throat and now I can't breathe without you.
Shea Mar 13
We look into each others eyes
Blind to each others thoughts.
The new me is so new to me,
And I have no idea who you are.
The feeling, so amazing
Who are you and who am I?
I could pretend that I am Superman
The way I express myself
In front of this stranger
They could never guess who I am
And what is really on my mind.
Sometimes I sit and think
I know that they are staring at me.
I look into reflection of my cellphone
Light is glaring
I catch no one staring
But I still remain paranoid.
The power I have,
I must swallow up and chew it
Cause it's boiling inside me,
All this anger and aggression.
I wonder who you perceive me to be
Cause I'm constantly disappointing you
While I sit and think about
Everything I need to do
And I never do it.
Life is running, so I walk
Aware of all my failures.
It'd be nice if I could paint myself
Inside this strangers mind
As someone who is beautiful,
Cause everyone sees me so unusual,
As usual.
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