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TS Feb 23
Trust is a tricky thing.

One person in your life can shake the ground you walk on forever without a second thought.

Your own anxieties bring insecurities that make you lose trust in people. It's not always their fault, but when those sneaking feelings end up being true, ******* it takes so much to come back from that.

Distrust and uncertainty seep into everything moving forward. You can't help but compare and see similarities. ***** the glaring and incredible differences, you will still find ways to not trust him. It's not fair to him, but you feel jaded like it doesn't matter anyway. Continue building those walls and slamming more bricks up there each and every time you have a concern, warranted or not.

You'll push everyone away because you will never be able to let go of those parts of yourself.

Shea Jun 2021
This desire for connection is insatiable
Because the connections I choose
To wrap my greedy hands around
Are as bad off as me
And if I can't love myself,
How am I to love someone just like me?
Shea Jun 2021
Warm weather
Come together
Larvae grows in the water that collects
Underneath the house
I'm using you to,
Hate myself.
I feel like you might love me
If I choke on what you have to offer
Shea Jun 2021
I laid in bed all day
I can't be here any longer
I wake up just to stare
At my face for a minute in the mirror

I'm travelling 'cross
The miles stretched across my face
And the marathon my fingers run
Across my expanding body

And in my dreams while i'm awake
I see this brown haired girl
Even though there is no face
I know that she is beauty and grace
And while i drive
I hold the hand
Of someone who does not exist
And taste the smell
Of somebody who only lives inside
The cracks of my brain

And maybe she is me
Cause i'm the only one
So far that could love myself
As much as I deserve
And I deserve more
Shea Apr 2021
Pretty girl
You're afraid, you child
You're gaining weight upon those shoulders
Shoulders used to be bone
Grown muscle
And your heart lost its size

You're no longer small,
Though you feel it.
You miss it.

But your talons
Were ready to strike for years,
Now it's time to spread your wings.
Shea Jan 2021
If my trust in you was a form of art, surely my mistake was my masterpiece

Two organisms without Eyes
blindly react to each touch
Each payment does not add to much

how did you see me through stained glass?
and I'm guilty of hiding
but was I hiding?
Or were you denying my pure intention?

Would one consider that lesson,
Or did I misjudge you for someone with pure intention?
Shea Jan 2021
I open myself
Beware of silver tongues
The devil places
People in your life
Just as the Angels do

She took a part of me
She knew exactly what she was doing
With my soul
And I, young
Not jaded enough
Fell into the well
I fell into being used
But you didn't get much, huh?

She wasted her time
With someone who presented
Such a simple mind
But if she couldn't dig deep and find
The person I've been trained to hide
She wasn't worth my time
Then why can't I get this demon
From my head?

I've tried
Yet the memories
My brain rings embarrassing
Replay to me at night
Did I truly think I had a chance?
With 100 pounds of nonsense?
Sure, I tried
Forget that waste of time
In time,
I'll forget that waste of time
Owen Jan 2021
I keep leaving ruby petals
on sleeping eyes.
The delicate pieces of my heart
given away like souvenirs.
Memorabilia, a fragrant lingering memory of me.
I hope they bring you joy.
A reminder of how truly and deeply
one can love another.
It only saddens me
that hesitation now precedes passion.
As Im growing older, colder,
and farther from my roots.
Won't someone hold my rose heart together, thorns and all.
Shea Jan 2021
This feeling could be painted
Like the Renaissance

Breathing every breath
As i slowly slip inside the essence
That you give
And I finally know what love is
Nylee Dec 2020
it is complicated
Not enough on my plate
the sea of sadness
making a mess
I've seen it grow,
Like a beloved plant
to a monstrous size
my ego falling tight.

it was a delight,
the silver losing its shine
I see it happen
many moments in my time

well, I thought I was before
jaded, but more so as
everyday it rolls,
the lustre of the big
is miniscule
I've gone through
every rule
I'll follow,
but it remains hollow.

I've not seen yet enough
but it is already enough
For me,
I'll stop, I'll be,
I'll cease if it is not to be
I'd just care
not, like I've done before.

Jaded, it is so ingrained
now in my DNA
I've felt it all
multiple times
I've soared through
caught up to
with the kindled hope
being jaded is the scope
of my life.
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