The emotions I carry are too big for my vessel.
Twisting, no entwining with my veins.
Like vines engulfing trees they’re
Slowly choking me.

the day we both lost our breath
i was box breathing
in
out
you
me
in
you
out
me
inside [our] empty lungs
i don’t know about you
but i can’t breathe like this
right now it’s 3 but
maybe it should be 4 or more
since we mold
and shape
inside
although my brain
will stay the same
we join
at the tongue
but the act is never done

hypnotic dreams, what are you telling me?
I feel everything, I feel myself unraveling
the beautiful ribbons suddenly choking me
I can't breathe, I can't see
the winding road ahead, me ever leaving this bed
possibilities are endless but not in my head
there's only one way or else I stray
cannot see myself set ablaze at the stake
I thought I was magic
turns out I am just a magnet for tragic endings
suspending my beliefs, diving deep
I hope I can reignite the spark in me
the sparks I bleed and not just drown in this sea
heaven watch over me

Seven years old
I’m playing outside
A girl I’ve been next door to for two years
Wears a cape like mine
Red
Red like the blood that screams
As it desperately tries to force its way to my brain
A metal slide I used to have
Holds my cape prisoner
Struggling dreams of if it would look like I was flying
If only it flew up and caught the wind
Instead of sink down and grasp my neck
Her mouth is open
Tears in her eyes
I can’t hear her screams
Over the helpless gasping of mine
As vision begins to fade a silver flash escapes the backdoor
My grandma darts down the stairs
Eyelids descend like time in an hourglass
My body rises to the heavens
I think this is it

            
                
                           “Grandma?”

Lay me down in the bed
you've slept in hundreds of times
It's your habitat
But I intend to make it my nest

I settle into the softness of your kisses
Countered by the weight of your body
A gentle whisper tells me,
"I want to *******"
Before I am swept away
By a tornado of lust and wanton moaning

My desire gets lost
Wandering the canvas of another person's skin
I feel a hand on my throat
Guiding me like a traveler providing directions
Yes, "choke me"
"Choke me harder"
Squeeze like you want to hurt me
Even if you care for me
"Harder" like you hate me

It's enough to send me reeling
I hit the edge, slamming into ******
Your grip on my neck loosens
Kisses,
          Soft kisses
Compensate for our carnal behavior

As I lay under you
A feeling I don't recognize rears its head
Not happiness, no
Euphoria, yes
I've claimed your bed as my refuge.