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FiguringItOut Jul 18
Seven years old
I’m playing outside
A girl I’ve been next door to for two years
Wears a cape like mine
Red
Red like the blood that screams
As it desperately tries to force its way to my brain
A metal slide I used to have
Holds my cape prisoner
Struggling dreams of if it would look like I was flying
If only it flew up and caught the wind
Instead of sink down and grasp my neck
Her mouth is open
Tears in her eyes
I can’t hear her screams
Over the helpless gasping of mine
As vision begins to fade a silver flash escapes the backdoor
My grandma darts down the stairs
Eyelids descend like time in an hourglass
My body rises to the heavens
I think this is it

            
                
                           “Grandma?”
True story
Vale Luna May 19
Lay me down in the bed
you've slept in hundreds of times
It's your habitat
But I intend to make it my nest

I settle into the softness of your kisses
Countered by the weight of your body
A gentle whisper tells me,
"I want to *******"
Before I am swept away
By a tornado of lust and wanton moaning

My desire gets lost
Wandering the canvas of another person's skin
I feel a hand on my throat
Guiding me like a traveler providing directions
Yes, "choke me"
"Choke me harder"
Squeeze like you want to hurt me
Even if you care for me
"Harder" like you hate me

It's enough to send me reeling
I hit the edge, slamming into ******
Your grip on my neck loosens
Kisses,
          Soft kisses
Compensate for our carnal behavior

As I lay under you
A feeling I don't recognize rears its head
Not happiness, no
Euphoria, yes
I've claimed your bed as my refuge.
Man Jan 12
i speak louder
but no one seems to hear
move faster
but moving nowhere

simultaneously icarus
simultaneously sisyphus
standing while falling

just the two of us
Samara Dec 2020
oh
if i confide in you
i know that you will chide me
find blame in me
for what happened
that hurt me

so in time i learned
to trust no one
and to hide in a
dark closet corner
where i won't be seen
cowering or choking
on my screams.
Traveler Nov 2020
Swirling thoughts  
Come to me
Wickedly spiraling
The rage
Choking my memories
In an
Attempt to express
Who is to blame
For my blemishes

Then I remember
I am perfect the way I am.
Another song
To serenade my ego!
Traveler Tim

The song remains insane
sometimes,
it is leaving our words unspoken
that has our throats feeling choked,
it is at this point in time
when setting your words free
may be the only means
to setting yourself
free
Caitlin Faykus Oct 2020
I have this darkness
Creeping up inside of me
One day it will reach my neck
Stopping the air flow
Silencing my screams
And I'll fall to the floor
Choking, gasping for air
But no one will hear
bloodKl0tz Sep 2020
Im standing in front of a forest that is on fire
Rose colored glasses
The same tint as the flames
Theres deer fleeing, raccoon skittering into backyards
Growing red moss advancing on the trees
Blisters form on the pads of my hands and fingers
Something much bigger than the deer, is advancing
Its getting hard to breathe, my throat feels like it is on fire
Squirrels pair off, try to find their fleeing mates
Burning hair
Burning paws
Encumbered with fears
My home is charred and I cant go back
Only forward, fleeing forward with the shadowy unknown advancing in the forest behind me
Cherry May 2020
How do I say hi?
How do I say no?

Can I tell her how I feel?
Won’t she say no?
She’ll say no.
I know she’ll say no.

I can’t go there.
Too many people.
Take a different route.
Avoid the light.

It feels tight in here.
You told me there wasn’t going to be many people here.

I’m not exaggerating.
I want to go home.
Let me go home.
I want to go home!

LET ME OUT!
Living with anxiety can sometimes seem impossible. You can do it.
Lilith May 2020
I want to unhouse this body,
tear up the floorboards of my flesh,
Allow the blood to seep out into the earth.
To break down to moss might be the most merciful thing I could do to
this prison of permanence that keeps me
above ground.

I am contamination,
I am illness housed in bone
slicing this skin to let the sickness seep out
to let the blood sink into the dirt
to return my borrowed body to the depths.
I never asked to be trapped
tied down in muscle and fat.
I am more corpse than corporeal
so bury me where I belong.

I have only felt joy while holding my breath.
The high of being denied oxygen makes me feel closer to you.
I crave your cold hands wrapping around my throat
ripping this skin open
letting me fall to pieces amongst the flowers.
At least the winds will whistle my name when I'm gone,
the sweet tune of the trees
soaking me in through their roots.

If I was not happy above the dirt,
let me fill these lungs with the funeral of the earth,
the carrion will make use of these remnants of skin
and I will be content to be cloaked and crowned in this castle of soil
below
CW: Implications of self harm
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