In a time I can't remember
There was nothing but dark
Then you arrived
A sun to light up my world
Water to keep me alive
You were sweet like honey
With the right amount of sour
To keep things interesting
I made a mistake
I told you who I am
You may be supportive, sure
But you'd never change
For someone, you claimed to love
I was tossed aside
While you ventured out
For you next conquest
How could you
Someone as broken as me
Break me even more?
Don't come out of the closet to everyone :)
I can make you the happiest you’ve ever been
And the happiest you’ll ever be
A lantern to light your darkest days
If you give me a chance, I will love you endlessly
I can give you the moon, the stars, and the sea
To the heavens, I’ll gift you the key
But I know, even if I gave you everything,
I can never make you love me.
Unnoticed, non- existent, who?
That is me.
Hidden behind the shadows,
that's all I'll ever be.
Me smiling and laughing is something you'll never see,
or is it something
you dread to see?
You glare at my every move
when what you should be doing is soothe
the feelings that put me on edge.
Isn't that what mothers do?
You were never like others,
only ever comforted my brothers;
didn't ever believe in lovers,
prohibited love for others like me,
or was it just you didn't desire the best for me, we'll see.
Me smiling and laughing
is something you'll never see,
when you're wishing the worst for me.
But do you ever put a wish my way?
Do you even think of me any day?
Remember my name?
only a burden on your chest;
missed out on the chance of being protected in your nest.
Forgotten is all I am,
unnoticed, non-existent, who?
I am lost
Without words to guide the way
I cannot see more than ten feet
Directly in front of me
I am nothing
I cannot hope to be anything more
Please don't tell me that I'm perfect
That 'you're good just the way you are!'
I'm really not okay
So don't pretend that I am
I am tired of being me
I am tired of being sane
Because I'm not
So I'm going to pretend that you don't treat me like a slave
That I am not just your personal maid
I am used to being stepped on
Used for anything at all
I just want to feel something good
Love that goes bother ways.
But I am dried up
I have no more love to give
All the people I have loved
Have drunk me up
Given me nothing at all but pity and a sad smile
As they walked away
Relishing my denial
So don't tell me that you want me
Because I know that want is not love
And even if it was
You don't deserve me
Because I am all dried up
I hope this resonates in the heart strings of other people like me. YOU ARE BETTER dOn'T bE A FreAKiNg DoOr maT! You do deserve better than what you are getting. Believe me, you do.
only answers when there's pictures
only picks up when I'm undressed
only tells that he loves me when
I'm looking at my best
I've stopped answering your calls
now I'm leaving you on read
I want to real love
not lust inside your bed
find someone who knows where real value lies...
I'm lying in bed and I'm crying.
I'm lying in bed, curled into myself, and I'm crying.
I'm lying in bed, curled into a ball, biting my tongue, grasping my pillow and crying.
Why you ask? Because tonight it hit hard.
Because tonight I can't get over this feeling of loneliness
Because tonight I wondered how anyone could ever love me
Because tonight I wondered why I was still alone
Cause tonight I just wanted someone there, and there was no one.
Oh this bitter, painful, insecurity that comes with the lack of experience in the love department.
No first kiss, no boyfriend, no remotely normal guy has pursued me.
And by normal I mean not weird, awkward, obsessive, a creep or stoner or someone just looking for something physical.
Maybe once there was a guy, but only once. One night. One date. And then he left.
Four days before you broke up with me
you emailed me
"I love you a lot I love you so so so so so so so so much"
No, that's not an exaggeration
That is exactly what you said
I fell so hard for you
Three days before you broke up with me
you told me
"I only want you"
and I said that I only wanted you
And god, I did
Two days before you broke up with me
You said I wasn't your second choice
and that you "never wanted" me "to feel that way"
And I apologized
and telling you exactly what I was feeling
One day before you broke up with me
you kissed me
And I smiled right back at you
But I sobbed that night because
she posted about you
The day you broke up with me
We sat next to each other
And we smiled
while my friend recorded us
being simply happy
and in love
Four hours before you broke up with me
You made out with me
I wore your hat
and you gave me three
Blue Raspberry Jolly Ranchers
and laughed at my blue tongue
When you broke up with me
Looked me in the eyes
"I can't say I see a future with you"
So I stood up, walked away, eyes dry
And sobbed when I got home.
And sobbed the next day.
And sobbed two days later.
And wrote this poem
Because I needed to tell someone
Eight hours after you broke up with me
You told me you still loved me
But you hadn't seen a future with me
How long has it been? Since you love her more
I think I'm going to hurt myself
Are you reading this?
not doing too well
I love you.
The three words that have yet to touch my ears.
You who left me,
a child without a home
You who neglected me,
I carry your last name
like a curse
You who forgotten me,
I look in the mirror and see
your eyes staring back at me
I hate that I have his eyes.