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Time and tide waits for none.
I wish I wasn’t so dumb.
I feel too much, but I can't handle even one.
I wish I was special, but that won't happen, son!
I wish I was perfect, but this fake pretense makes me succumb.

My body feels stiff, and I break a cold sweat.
I’m not afraid of people,
but my body says otherwise.

That gut-wrenching nausea whenever I leave my room.
That vexing sensation every time I sit to dine.
That suffocating lump in my throat every time I’m yelled at—it shines.
That teary eye every time I had to defend my lines.

I wish I could lead you to my mind.
I wish I could lead you to my mind.

The constant naggings and whispers.
The feeling of never being enough.
The existential dread.

I hate it all.
I hate it all.

Call it self-pity.
Call it self-victimizing.
And I won’t even call you out.

I’m just happy you don’t have to feel what I feel.
I’m just having a random crashout.
I mean, gotta do something, right?
For stayin’ alive?

I’m sorry, but I feel Nervous.

                                                                            - Asher Graves
Sorry for not posting any poems for a while beautiful fellow poets. I was finishing my degree and well now i am free and offically unemployed but hey I can write until things take a turn.
Hope you're having a great day. if not smile okay. You did well. You are awesome.
When the Red Death held sway over us all
There is no pain
There is no remorse for life
Only blood flowing down lucidly
And don’t you see?
The blood is my haven
And I seek refuge in it
Every time

When he jumps off the 13th floor
Does he feel the wind
Freeing him
Or does he see blood oozing out
As his flesh slumps in it
Like a sleeping infant?
And he seeks refuge in it
Every time

When he cut his ear
Did the blood rush to his head
Or hands first?
Did he pour it into a cup
Or let it speak lazily?

Do you bathe in the very blood
That forms you
Or eat yellow paint instead,
Van Gogh style?
Do you let the waves brush you
Or build another door
That doesn’t tower over you?
Do you let the shadows watch you
Or do you sip your drink
And wait for all your hallucinations
To come alive?

And don’t you see?
The blood is my haven
And I seek refuge in it
Every time
A surreal confessional about refuge, death, and the body as myth. It lives in red.
I said:
“I think I have ADHD.”
They answered:
“No, you’re just a ******. Get a job.”

So I ran.
In circles.
Around a reality
that never gave me room to breathe—
just fingers pointed and ******* advice.

They didn’t see the war in my head,
just the pupils.
They didn’t hear the silence in me,
just the noise I made.

I asked for help—
they handed me judgment.
I reached out—
they recoiled,
like I carried plague and guilt in my veins.

And then—
years later,
when everything’s burned,
when I wear my diagnosis like scars and proof,
they show up.

With a box.
“Here’s Ritalin. It’ll help.”

Ritalin.
Legal speed.
The same thing they hated me for chasing
now handed over
wrapped in plastic and prescription smiles.

What the **** happened?
Was it the label that made me worthy?
The paperwork that made my scream real?

I was never chasing a high.
I was chasing peace.
I was never after drugs.
I just wanted to understand
why my mind never shut up.

But there was no room for that.
Not then.
Not until now.
Now that the system sees
what I’ve been screaming
the whole
****
time.
Written from the frustration of being mislabeled for years. I wasn’t chasing a high — I was chasing silence in a storming mind. Misunderstood as an addict, dismissed by the system, denied peace. This is for everyone who had to scream just to be heard. For those with ADHD, for the fighters, for the forgotten.
endure gracefully.
bleed beautifully.
but never too much,
never enough to make them uncomfortable.

cry.
but wipe your tears when you're done.
open your eyes wider,
don't look so depressed,
you're ruining the photo.

girly you can text me anytime
until we actually do
then its,
im not ur ******* therapist.
and a lingering guilt.

why has mental illness also produced standards we must meet,
standards in order to be accepted.
why are some shunned and some welcomed?

we are not an aesthetic.
not broken people in soft lighting.

i scream,
i rot,
i flinch when someone shows me affection,
i hate being hugged,
but still crave it the most.
am i still worthy of love?
not all pain is photogenic
abyss Jun 17
My prettiest words,
my sincerest thoughts,
the deepest parts of my heart—
you had them all.

I had eyes only for you.
Now I’m blind.

I don’t know where I’m going,
but I know where I’ve been.
I touched your heart
for just a moment—
and I could breathe.

Now I’m blind,
hooked to a breathing machine.
this came out in one go.
some loves feel like breath —
until you forget how to breathe without them.
abyss Jun 15
Shattered illusions.
Shattered hopes.
Shattered dreams.

A house with no structure
built from the remains of ruin.

A powerful soul
in a trembling body.

A house meant to fall.
A house that realized
it’s not a house at all -
just the memory of shelter
pretending to hold.

It asks,
"Then what am I?"

But no one answers.

And so,
what’s left
sinks into the soil,
quietly turning
back into earth.
Who are you when it all comes crashing down?
Iha May 31
"Have you ever been depressed?"
(she questioned)
Lying on her lap, fingers snap and tap,
Thumbs beat like drums, lost in monochromatic numbs.

"Side effects of the pandemic"
(she laughed)
Teens with their trauma, entwined with karma,
Does depression have one S or two?
Like spelling it right makes it less true.

"Have you ever been depressed?"
(she sighed)
History which couldn't hide, traces left, of what time had dyed,
Echoes of memories, lost, drifting like leaves, forever tossed.

"Sometimes you forget,"
(she softened)
A slurring voice, back in the club's heavy noise,
Not every ache is the dreaded cry, yet what’s the point in asking why?
******* those heels and let the makeup get you by.

"Have you ever been depressed?"
(she cried)
Every laugh's taxed, the smile lines waxed,
Joy's inflation, making me starve, in a world of elation.

"It’s not that deep,"
(she hissed)
You think too much, your coffee's gone cold.
Do I (you) dream, or do I (you) dare?
People wish they had my (your) share.

I'm (You're) fine.
I'm (You're) here.
I'm (You’re) breathing air.

"Have you ever been depressed?"
(silence)
A flatline's ring, a ghostly sting,
No icebergs roam, just foam and loam.

"No one throws the raft you see,"
(she spit)
For a ship that’s sunk, down with a clunk,
Life's a cruel parody, why expect rescue for this tragedy?

Cutting off what's meant to be, such is the selfish strategy.
How i hate those (you's) but still love you is forever a mystery darlin
Iha May 6
Broken crayons still color,
She'd say, "I'd be ****** if I forget,
And let the water wash my spark away."

Jumped where the tides barely speak,
She'd say, "I'd be ****** if I left,
And deaf to the calling waves I keep."

Heavier heartbeats marked the tide,
She'd say, "I'd be ****** if it didn't,
And erase the memories I couldn't hide."

Stones in her thoughts sank the soul,
She'd say, "I'd be ****** if that's true,
And sinking in the shallow end? That ain't what I do."

Dragged into the darker tide,
She'd say, "I'd be ******, but this hurts,
And I'll drown happily with my heart, embracing the burn."

Broken crayons still color,
She'd say, "I'd be ****** but it's true,
I ain't wax, mama!
I'm shattered glass, betrayed, in my break."
laughing and crying at the same time is very efficient :)
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