Wrapped in a hurricane
Spinning and feeling outta control
Screaming to let go
Why does it hurt me so
Trust me I will stop this
I will not let it spin me
outta my soul
Karma will be
the fate of those
for my wiccian soul
tells me so
© Jennifer L Dlg 1/19/2018
As I sit here just chewing the cud
Nights lost and debauched with my friend Richard
Picking up that guitar as a kid from Cash Converters
He left me for the sun down under with the students and the surfers
E Minor through to a chord named A Sharp
Strangling that neck with fingers that don’t know where to start
I should have listened to Mr Hogarth for this career in its finest form
Rocking out on stage wow that would have been a storm
But it’s never too late to try and give it another go
Read music they say but I wouldn’t know my arse from my elbow
No, no, no, that’s not the attitude
I’ll plug this thing and never give up as someday I’ll fill those smoky rooms
I joined a band with 2 brothers and bassist of whom I did not know
Mill Hill practice every Sunday just thought I’d give it a go
But only one song and a commitment I could not keep it was always bound to fail
I’ll carry on solo still looking on but really just chasing my own tail
Work carried on as a plumber of which I never did really enjoy
But it paid the bills
And a wedding on the horizon
All in sight except for that unseen tree which nearly stopped me from ever rising
Paraplegic is a word I had rarely ever used
you’re a cripple, a mong, I had said once myself how dare I have used that abuse
To be told you will never walk again is a shot that broke my heart
Don’t let it get you down be strong and try for a brand new start
The days go by at the start of this new journey
The loss of once friends and to gain some new is now what must ground me
A different perspective and a sharper humour has now unveiled
Hello new world you won’t get me down just watch this beast unravel
Taking the good with the bad and filtering through the ugly
A different ship to now set sail, get ready for this could get choppy
But as I say and always repeat, life goes on its just how you take it
This second chance given to me a bit lower down, but still determined to make it,
Hey Mr Wheelchair.
Caught in between, reality and our dreams,
But once we encapsulate our visions, it’s clearer than it seems,
Allow the mind to combine, with your destiny, now allow your vision and dreams to inter-twine,
Reach for that sky, and tell yourself “you’re all mine”
Like fine wine, enjoy the aroma, while you maneuver and grind,
Now again allow your mind to combine and inter-twine,
There are no rules, so cheating is not an option,
A true skin to skin, fist to fist style boxing,
Defend your dreams and conquer your visions,
No time to stop, and no time to makes excuses as decisions.
She was determined and depressed
She was motivational and melancholy
She was happy and heart broken
All wrapped with a bright red bow on top.
She had the love of her life
She had the world's most fabulous mother
She had the most inspirational best friend ever, strong and fighting the odds.
She had this smile of light and a life to be lived.
Why did her brain have to tell her otherwise?
I find myself doing the things you used to do.
The way you'd bite your lip when you were thinking.
The way you'd put your hands together
During a scary movie.
I find myself mimicking the little things
That I loved about you.
And it breaks my heart to feel this;
That I can't get you out of my head.
Your actions, your smile, your voice:
They're imprinted in my brain.
You became a part of me
And I think that's what made it hurt so much
When you left and took that part of me
With you, away from me.
Everybody tells me
"Just get over it"
"It was just a stupid summer crush"
But you were everything to me
And I don't think I'll ever be able to feel that again.
I steeled my heart and closed off my mind.
I'll never let anyone in like that again.
But sometimes... I want to
They call me dumb because i am from a nation of a different tongue
They say we are wetbacks, immigrants, and even niggers
They call me
unimportant because i am still a "teenager"
They say "your just a kid you'll never make a change"
They call me a stupid female
because i believe in my worth as a
But here is where they were wrong,
I am not dumb, i am intelligent and bilingual
I am not just a kid, i am the future of this cruel cruel world
I am not stupid, i am a strong willed determined female
So to the people Who try to bring me down because I am a Young Hispanic Woman, I have one thing to say to you
I'm very scared of being lost
I'm terrified if I don't belong anywhere
Is there something I was not taught?
That I don't fit into the me shaped peg-hole
It's truly a struggle to become myself
I have no assurance that life will become what I have dreamt of it
I have no insurance because I have chosen to take the risk
Still, I live
I will go on living
In this will is my hope
That the path does not adapt to me
I did not choose what is easy
I will become like liquid to the path
And take it whichever way I am led
It is a path, is it not?
It is a way to somewhere
While I feel like nowhere
My goal is plain in sight
It only takes focusing my eyes
To the way that's right
Lately my vision of the future has been hazed with excuses that flow out of me like some form of muscle memory. Refused to answer the door for opportunity because of the fear I have instilled in me. And so I'm sitting here, deferring what could have been, for a comfortable life that should have been temporary. Watching other friends run past me and overlap me, making the end seem further than it should be. Letting myself dodge the responsibility of taking the risk to be a better me, so that I can say I tried without actually doing anything. But I'm sick and tired of all these excuses. I'm dumbfounded that I even let myself excuse this. And I'm shocked that I thought I couldn't do it. But, nows the time to prove to myself that nothing will stand in my way. That, no matter how long it takes, my future will no longer be grey. That, I can be stronger than who I let myself be. Because in the end, the only person who will benefit from this, is me.