Sometimes I need to remind myself
that this all comes in
phases, need to stop carving
words into stone and start
to see how they feel between my teeth instead.
Sometimes I try to remember how the universe dances
to the song of whoever pulls hardest, and I
am in an endless tug-o-war with myself, I'll be
cutting up old contracts before the month is out
mailing you the damage report and wondering
how this all fits together.
I can't wrestle this beast forever; I tell myself
that I'm going to hang up my hat, I tell myself
this is all predetermined just to
make the pill slide down a bit easier.
I think I need to stop weighing the options and start
casting stones blindly, because
someone is always going to pick up a brush and paint me
in a way that I dislike
(usually that person is me)
So maybe I'll write up new laws that salvage
what this world is becoming, maybe I'll put
these fears in the hands of timing or signs just to forget
for a little while, just to breathe
a bit easier for a moment.
our heels in the form of everything
that we try to disguise, so I'll put away the scissors and trust
everything fleeting to keep me company tonight.
Tomorrow I'll find the envelope marked
"return to sender", and realize a second chance at
un-learning my cynicism and the things that I constantly throw against
I want these thoughts to bleed into
I'm tired of her leaving the line