I'm not one for Valentine's Day. Love wrapped up and packaged into superficial nothingness The meaning, the weight and beauty of love, made less, stripped away and replaced with balloons and chocolates. No If you love someone you tell them every day. Tell them with the way you look at them, with the way you touch them, buy her flowers because its Tuesday dress up for him because you wanna take his breath away all over again falling in love is a whirlwind of involuntary passion staying in love is an action showing love is a responsibility, a choice don't dull the song of love's voice because it shouldn't be loudest but one day a year No interlock your fingers and breathe each other in not for a holiday, do it for the grin, that blooms on her face more lovely than any roses in a vase OH dear No. Love is not just once a year.
I'm so sick. Talking about him, talking about you, telling my friends about us like your name is someone else's. If you're listening at this party, I hope you hear the times I hold back from cracking jokes with you. Or at least notice when my lines aren't landing because I catch your eye and my frame breaks.
i dont want romance the idea is glorious and pompous and the longing to be something else i still never wish to fall in performance nor duel reliance all i seek are people with commitment not to me but to meaning what they say a bare backed willingness to be honest and ambitious their truest self in front of me and thus allowing me to be my truest self before them and i wish oh i still do wish this would be considered a simple friendship
I am justly inadequate no one knows my name the strangers I pass by all treat me just the same. They never ask about my day or if I feel okay, we look on, all in silence repeating yesterday.
I am justly inadequate I work hard to be not enough my conscience is never heavy but my heart isn't up to *****. My hands are warm and loving, callused, hard and rough, a willing heart without a reason just never will be enough.
I am justly inadequate I stare out windows thinking that if I could just be someone else then I would get a chance to be the man I could have been but as I am, I know I can't.
I am justly inadequate no one knows my name. And every time I try to laugh I can only muster shame. I try to smile, once in a while, to trick the gloom away, but I still know that I am inadequate any day.
But I am not you I could not understand The shock barely believed you Confessing his ***** hands
It rolled off like water from duck And I think I have plumbed the depths And gone the distance
But I am not you I don't know what its like To have been abused For you to believe that you didn't fight For all those years
Im not sorry I cant understand Its a much much deeper remorse than that Clutching at my hidden fears But don't think that means we cant go there Or that I will chicken out and leave you crushed behind Never ever Please begin to trust yourself and take my hand And show me your strength The ebbs and flows You need to heal me into your pain I am not you You are beautiful You are strong You did fight But the war is long And here you are still on the front line Never backing down Advancing with time Warrioress For many years you were a soldier of truth in a battalion of one
I need a medic My emotions have burst Someone stretcher me off
Im not you But im here in the trenches Im not turning back We're in this We're buying time back
I didn't really craft these words That's creepy They are just the truth unfiltered Im sorry there's no structure But who would want to build a monster
Im not ashamed anymore of saying what I feel to you I am becoming you believe me
Can i say— your absence is a relief. Your lack of response gives me nothing but comfort and i know, i will not see your name pop up just yet 'cause how can you reply to "im sorry i can't take the risk to jump so i vanished" and to "i'm sorry i opened the door but no, i'm not inviting you in" or to "i'm sorry but i'm just here to say sorry (and have no intention of 'fixing' you)" because i don't think my broken bones can lift the tools any longer. I say yet because almost always you pop right back the last minute, trying. I hope this time would be the last.
I say i sorry in every sentence, you thought i was letting you in. 1/27/19
It's sort of funny in the saddest way. To find pieces of myself in a man that was never really a part of my life at all. I wish I knew you well enough to have memories other than playing trivia at a table by the bar watching you stay well past last call. Fighting with your wife over who would drive home. Spending every other weekend you had with me staring at the bottom of empty bottles. And slurring "I love you's" like I might believe them. Isn't it all I ever wanted? To be loved by you? And does anything ever really change? Can people really change? You were sober for 5 years after you almost lost your life. But now I keep waking up to drunk text messages. Parallel to your drunken confessions in the middle of the night while six year old me tried to comfort you. Biting my tongue and staring at the cieling fan so I wouldn't cry. I don't have to hide the tears anymore because you're in another city and I won't ever tell you how bad you hurt me. But Dad I keep letting men hurt me who tell me they love me at 2 am and I wish I didn't feel like it's because of you.