when you're feeling better
when the scars have healed
let me know
when I should turn around
when things look brighter
tell me so
when you're done cheating
when the lies about her stop
say it to me
when the bullsh*t is over
when you wanna tell me the story
I'll be over here
when that times come
when we're finally back in reality
that's when we can finally be
honest with ourselves
a lot more than
i usually do rn
To be honest
If that’s what I am
Then I am never truly honest
Because for it to be true
I must be without flaws
And to be without flaws is
To not be human
And that is something
I am undeniably
you saturate my darkest nights
with all the colors that lay in your eyes
I am raw
I am as honest as a poet can be
In an age of brutal honesty
Wrapped up in pretty silk
A doll to be played with
I wish I could have it all
I could get high and watch it dissolve
Have an adventure in my head
Make the loneliness interesting
I’ve been trying to stop speeding
But I fall down and crash
A trip to the hospital
This time I won’t make it back
I’ve got a list of fears
Greatest being myself
Can’t shake the urge to stop neglecting myself
I don’t value wealth
Too much pressure on my conscious
To remain conscious
The days add up like addition
Couple that with a bad personality
You got addiction
Sharing what’s in my head
Not as good as seeing you in my bed
Swimming doggie paddle
But my muscles are giving out
When I jump
And finally leave behind
This old Earth's atmospheric mind
It will not be to orbit any one or thing
Instead when I leave it all behind
It will be for the clearest of visions
Well communicated in kind
It will be for the truest tidal wave of being
That I leave my only I behind
A few words about change and how I approach such things. Tested and true. Steady, etc.
The sound of our feet moving on the dance floor.
Me sitting on the concrete outside the vintage store.
Is it selfish to ask for something more?
Or am I just scared that I’m not what you are looking for?
The racing of my heart as I work up the nerves.
Trying to resist what I want to preserve.
I’m sorry it took the moon thirty six cycles for me to come to my senses.
No- not senses, for me to make up my **** mind.
This is simply hard to find.
I guess I was more ready than I realized.
I don’t know how to say
But I gotta be honest about the other day
Last night I had a hook up,
and I know I’ve been seeing you for a month now
So it’s probably about time you leave
It’s not a lie, it’s not you it’s me
Look I like you, but I got needs
And they hadn’t been getting met recently
Honestly, didn’t mean to be a mickey
Throw it all away cause I’m sickening
Disgust myself I need a new awakening
Cause I’m fake, and lie all the time
It’s the same thing every single night
I **** it all up every single time
But then again
We are just friends
striking parallels in my life
"The most important things are the hardest things to say.
They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them--words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out.
But it's more than living isn't it?
The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buries, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away.
And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not
to understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it.
That's the worst, I think.
When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller
but for want of an understanding ear."
This quote helps me understand that whenever I feel emotions so strongly, I shouldn't diminish them. But to recognize them and know they are important, then just telling myself to shut them down because I'm a "teenager". Even if I feel little to no emotions, it's for a reason and it's okay. To just let myself feel how I feel.