Covered in my shining armour,
carefully hiding all the love that I harbour.
Straight back, head always held high,
never showing them how hard I try.
Don’t offer a smile, they may not smile back. It’s better to fake the strength that you lack.
Pushing away the dream of true love,
covering my heart like a hand in a glove.
“Resting bitch face”, “intimidatingly fierce”,
sunglasses covering all of my tears.
“You’ll be happy alone”, I tell myself,
dreams of marriage pushed back on the shelf.
But then how is it, in the end of the day,
when I lay down in bed, it’s of true love I pray.
When the armour comes off, and I’m true to my soul,
I feel something missing for me to be whole.
I stretch out my body, my muscles are sore.
Bruises and marks from the armour I wore.
Like light through a crystal, it all becomes clear,
my shining armour was created by fear.
What I thought was my helper, was always an enemy;
pushing potential soul mates far away from me.
Keeping me away from all that I wanted,
all caused by memories of which I am haunted.
“Strong independent woman”, “single by choice”,
most times I don’t even believe my own voice.
But at night without the armour, I see the true me;
my soul and my heart both rejoiced to be free.
It’s time to be brave, let them all see;
the love. the kindness. the vulnerability.
I’ll take off the armour, piece by piece, over time;
true strength comes from within, and I see this is mine.
Ikaw at ako
Dapat ba'y naging tayo?
Di maipagkaila na mayroong naramdaman,
Ngunit ano nga ba iyon, nananatiling palaisipan.
Bata pa ako noon at takot magkamali,
Di ko maisip kung paano mo ako nadali.
Mga tulad mo daw ay dapat kong iwasan,
Ngunit sa pag-iwas ko'y mukhang maslalong nasaktan.
Patuloy kong iniisip kung bawat salita at ginawa mo para saakin ay totoo,
O isa lang din ba ako sa mga babaeng nauto mo?
Pilit kong pinipigil ang sarili ko na balikan,
Dahil di ko rin naman alam kung ako ay may karapatan.
Pareho ba tayo ng binasang pahina?
Ako lang ba ang kinilig at umasa?
Noong mga panahon bang iyon ay naging tapat?
Sa isa't isa ba ay karapat dapat?
Mga katanungang hindi nabigyan ng sagot,
Malabong ugnayan na tuluyang naudlot.
Kahit mayroon ka ng iba,
At totoo ito, para sa'yo ako'y masaya
Malaman mo sana na ikaw ang pinakamasakit kong sana.
Someone Out There Needs This
So you write!
So I write,
Trying hard to say it right,
Forthright but kind:
Trying hard to find the word
That does not hurt
But flirts and heals,
By some sort ‘you’
Who needs it then
At just that moment.
There’s always someone out there
Who needs what you have to say.
Someone Out There Needs This 9.26.2017
I Is Always You Is We;
When did I let this vocation of mine?
Which I've worked so hard for
Become the main reason and meaning of me?
When exactly did it happen
That my passion slipped and fell to the ground
Like the seasons passing on an endless tree?
I said I wouldn't forget once I had
I said many things of myself back then
Be it most confident or most arrogantly
A vow is a vow to those who uphold
But what are the words to the man within?
Who forgets himself in his own externalties
Honestly, this dishonesty is hard to keep up
It's easier said than done
"I'd rather be with you than on my own"
He doesn't say it out loud
I'm not sure his heart even knows
He's blinded by the attention
He wants to feel the love
Do us all a favor kid,
Be vulnerable for once
Let the pain change you
See how it feels to be alone