You hide behind a curtain of insecurity,
blushing and allowing your eyes to fall
to the floor when they give you kind words
to follow and acknowledge. Deflection
is a skill so fine tuned and honed
that it's innate, a reflex built
into your body. Yet you never stopped
to think that they never had to say
those lovely things
and they chose to anyway because they truly
believed them. Perhaps it's time
for you to believe them too.

~~ "He didn't have to say that to you," is the best thing anyone could have said to me. ~~

Bubbly smile and shining eyes, are what I see
When I listen to your voice, I feel at ease.
Sure, I’m mature but fun at times
Annoying and unwittingly maritime.

Behind the jokes and the laughs, is my past
My darkness in the future seems vast.
But no one is stopping me from getting to you
Yet I stand still and grudgingly bid you adieu.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining
I’m just sick and tired of waiting
Maybe all the stress just got to me.
I don’t know how, to not hold on too tightly
Maybe I’m just scared over nothing.

Maybe that’s it, I just need to patch my soul
But you’re not the star cut out to make me whole.
Yet I try and try again to make you be a part of me
I’m drawn to the way you make us both feel happy.

But if you really meant that much to me
I’d be able to let you go, sadly but easily.

I don’t really love you, even though I think I do
You don’t make me as happy as she makes you.
I don’t really love you, even though I think I do
You remind me of what it’s like to not be lonely.


31st March 2017

The long version of this poem has the full explanation of this piece. Any other queries or comments can be left below.
Thanks for stopping by! :)
Crimsyy 6d

Things I know to be true
at 10 pm on a Friday night:
I know I feel more at home
on my own, alone,
I know that alone to me
is not the feeling of
suffocating inside your own skin,
I know my skin is
the only real estate I'll
ever permanently own.
I know my skin
is not my enemy,
I know my skin
is always ready to welcome me.
I know my mind
is a lovely place to spend your time in
if you don't mind the looming threat
of a tornado or an earthquake.
I know your love is like
a vestigial organ
I do not require
but am willing to carry.
I know I love ferociously
and somedays that love
is a vestigial organ
I could go well without,
like tonsils in my throat
limiting my voice,
but does your heart ever
give you a choice?
I know I'm breathing
and nothing is falling apart
around me,
and even without you here,
I know I'm safe.

Crimsyy Apr 20

I can't understand
why everybody is so infatuated
with the idea of
having it "all figured out."
I don't understand my crippling
fear of not knowing;
where did it come from
and who planted its seed?
Because this fear of not knowing
is the forest living within me,
feeding itself with
my paralyzing thoughts
and if I could,
I'd ask it all to stop.
Life is being portrayed as
some puzzle we all need to complete
and I fear stumbling;
I fear the human act of
making a mistake,
because Heaven forbid,
something goes left
instead of right.

Sean Scribbles Apr 19

You’ll have to let me know,
How long that fragile peace will last.

How long you’ll be content with not knowing why something bothers you,
And why such thoughts will not settle and pass.

Would you let me know then, and how that was?
So that I can say, I've been there as well.

For the truth is that, most people are meant, but not for us.
Such people are nice, but not enough.

That is, in time.
They are dulcet and sweet, but cannot satisfy the vastness, or thirst of an ocean mind.

Not today, or tomorrow, or next week. But in due time. Perhaps also in mind. You'll see what I see from this other side.

*slow and honest nod*
Sean Scribbles Apr 17

In my weakness
He is strong
Far mightier than oak and stone

And though I do not understand myself
He does
And for some reason knows

About about all of the things I do to distract
Just to keep myself
From the sinfulness in these decaying bones

And so I wait for this feeling to pass
Though I know the truth
I am not, though I feel, alone

Because in that moment
When no human hand can steady you
Where then my friend, are you going to go?

As for me, I know that I will go back
To the one true God
Who existed long before this earth was home

https://soundcloud.com/user-433755196/i-am-not-though-i-feel

In that moment, when no human hand can steady you. Where are you going to go?

it is not in my nature

to be as I am.

I am not just a creature

of mould or of damp.




I will not be converted

to some noxious disease,

nor will I be perverted

to just stand on my knees.




I will not bow my head,

nor my heart or my hands,

as they're all I have had

to stand tall through time's sands.




you can shout if you please,

I am still my own boss

and will never just seize

the days that have past.

Dorian Apr 8

Push forward
Never stop
devour highs
suffer lows
I am real
I never pretend
No one knows me
I don't care!!
My virtues are pure
Still they've been forsaken
To fulfil others happiness
Why?
I am real
No ulterior motives
I just want neutrality
Rich or poor
It's irrelevant
I have issues
I accept this
I will not reveal these
Advice is condescending
Unless you have suffered the pain
I am real
I will proceed
The hazy fog will lift
I will smile
I will nod
They will never know
I am real

Real talk
curlygirl Mar 31

i can
still smell
you on
my skin,
even when
i try
not to

I thought we were happy
but what I thought was a smile was a smirk.

I thought we were perfect
but behind your clean shaven exterior brambles grew and tangled.

I thought that you loved me
but you just loved the way I looked on your arm, like an accessory.

I thought I loved you
but I just loved the fantasy

I thought I'd never move on, but now that's all you are. A thought.

First Poem on Hello Poetry
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