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Angela Rose Mar 12
I am irrevocably in love with you.
This is not a poem.
This is a confession.
This is an outpouring of my heart stings.
I am so in love with you that I needed to get it out on the internet and let the world know.
You possess my whole heart.
Oh dear God, I am so ******* in love with you.
WickedHope Mar 4
I don't lie
When I'm drunk
I can't
I can't lie
I forget how
I **** the consequences
The truth
Has so many consequences
When it follows
A lie
A white lie
Can still land
Like a falling star
Looking so pretty
Up in the sky
But crushing us all
When it lands
Knocked down
By the truth
Don't ask me
If I'm drinking
Because I'll say it
I'll say it
I'll say it
Quite un-prudely
And I'll laugh
Like it's funny
To hit you
With the two edged sword
Of reality
Not realizing
I'm gripping
The blade
With my own two
Coating us both
In enough
To honestly
Drown us
I don't lie
If I say it
Sweetly sober
We're spared the
Careless calamity coming out crass and crapulent colored lips
Tearing open
Naked truths
I can never
the problem
with buying clothes
these days
is not knowing
if anything
will fit
or even
suit you
until it arrives

rather than
just return items
that i decide
i don't want
i hunt for
a loose thread
and pick at it;
with finger and nail
when that is not enough
next comes
a gnashing of teeth
if needs be
i am not above
brandishing scissor
or knife
to split the seam
before complaining
that the item
is faulty

i am never proud
of myself
when i do it
there would be
no difficulty
in returning it
as unwanted
this way
i don't end up
paying postage
Angela Rose Feb 24
I fall in love ever so quickly
I always have
It happens in an instant, it cuts, it stings and it leaves me with marks
The loves either leave me with an itchy scab that bleeds and peels away after a short period of time
Or the loves leave me with a scar that remains and shows everyone I’ve been a victim of something tragic
But perhaps, maybe just this once, the love will leave me with a scar that’s a reminder that something beautiful and deep has happened to me
Perhaps this time the scar is not a throwback to tragedy, but instead an ode to a future of stoic and life lasting connection
Jodie-Elaine Jan 23
I can see the light coming through
beginning to flood us
there’s something honest about being here
call it understanding
give it a willing name
it knows exactly what to say
I need me the most.
From my upcoming collection, 'Haven't the Foggiest'.
Estelline Jan 23
Being honest and open to you
Is more than painfully hard
When fears are stacked miles up
Cornering me from all around
Creating indestructible walls.
Angela Rose Jan 18
I shouldn’t be a mom

There’s no reason i should allow myself to bring children into this world
Children with the same problems that I have
How selfish of me to think and assume I deserve or am worthy of allowing myself to bring someone into this world with my issues?
The anxiety, the depression, the self deprecating thoughts

I wouldn’t be a good mom

How could I look into the eyes of my sons or daughters and know I brought them into this world to feel such immense pain?
What would give me the right to bring children into this hell full of negativity, poverty and intense drama?

I couldn’t be a good mom

How insanely asinine of me to think I should be projecting my problems into my spawn?
What part of my last twenty seven years of life would prompt me to believe I should feel the happiness and pride the mothers and fathers around me feel?

But what if all my honest, true, real self realization would make me the best mom ever?
Lucid Dec 2021
Thinking about the fact that the only time I was ever heard was when I was in the psych unit after my suicide attempt…and not a moment before nor after.

I felt at peace while in the crisis unit. Being there felt like the safe, comforting motherly hug I’d never received.

I was born alone and I will die alone. That is all I need to know.

Choking on the words I’ll never say

All the things I never said. All the things I never said. Spinning circles in my head. Spinning circles in my head.

How am I supposed to be a good mother when I’ve never known a good mother?

Opening the liquor cabinet and telling myself I’m only drinking all this alcohol so that my dad won’t.

The reasons why I’m still here are fading away more and more each day. Once they’re gone and I’ve seen as much of the world as I want, I’m out of here. There is no purpose to this existence. There never was and there never will be.

The curiosity of the future is not enough to overcome the devastation of today.

I tell myself I’m only pushing them away so that it will be easier on them when I’m gone. And I will be gone.

He will be the hardest to let go.

He deserves better than me. He always has. He deserves the world. Maybe someday he’ll forgive me. Maybe someday he’ll realize I did him a favor.
as you can see, i'm still here. i'm still fighting through the worst parts of myself
Mariah Button Nov 2021
I feel my knees buckle sometimes.
And my arms go limp.
It's an earth-shattering sadness.
I feel it in my bones,
In my blood,
Like it's part of me.
The kind of sad that makes my body fumble from the weight
Andrew Nov 2021
If I could paint
with my words
Your portrait
would be epic
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