I wrote this poem for my best friend to whom I got engaged to on Tuesday, June 14th 2016. This poem in its simplest form, defines our union thus far and I wrote it to announce our engagement to the world. *Kanna* is the name I call my fiance by, which in Tamil refers to the Lord Krishna, also referred to as the one who stole my heart, dear to my heart and beloved one.

In Greek mythology, Sirens were dangerous yet beautiful creatures, who lured nearby sailors with their enchanting music and voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island.
Lament: A passionate expression of grief or sorrow.

I wrote this poem inspired by a recent come by of a web comic (LINE WebToon) by the title ‘Siren’s Lament’, exquisitely created and illustrated by Mingso (Miso aka InstantMisoSoup) accompanied by beautiful background music by Kenny (KennyComics). I was very touched by the illustrations that portrayed the heartbreaking one-sided love story between two friends. The saying,”It’s hard to admit when you have fallen in love with someone who can’t be yours.” is pretty much the best way to describe the sentiment behind this comic story as I’ve read it so far. Not to mention how Kenny’s simple piano music to accompany this beautiful and strong emotion reaches my heart and settles deep within my very marrow. I dedicate this poem to Mingso and Kenny for capturing my mind with your talent and art, my new friend Anushri Praveen for introducing me to the comic ‘Siren’s Lament’ and for getting me to start reading something again, and my best friend Sutha Bala for being supportive, encouraging and for believing in me.

There are times when we are so much a part of other people's lives - married couples, live-in couples, friends, family, housemates, you name it - that we turn into their everyday lives in such an unnoticeable way. This poem is about what tends to happen when you get too used to having someone around.

“‘La Douleur Exquise‘ (French) literally means “the exquisite pain”; it comes from a medical term which defines a pain which morphine cannot dull. It’s meaning has become something used to describe that indescribable pain of being hurt by the one you love.” ~ Pamela Haag (www.BigThink.com)

I've always had this vision of being a mother, holding my baby in my arms. I'm not a mother, yet I feel like I know this feeling already. This poem is how I recently felt when a gush of broodiness took over briefly.

We are so attached our fears, 'cannot's and lack of self-belief. We all have strengths. Even our flaws are our strengths. Weakness only applies when we are stubborn to not change for the better. The reasons why we are attached to our negatives is because we KNOW our positives are so strong - we just don't know how to hold ourselves together through all that strength. Well... all it takes is love and faith in ourselves :-)

LQ - Lovers' Quarrel; MU - Mutual Understanding

‘Better late than never’ is one of the most famous phrases used in our day-to-day lives. That time we were late to an event or that time we went over a deadline… The quote is used so frequently that when we are actually overdue for one of the most important events or decisions in life, we not only feel grateful for having approached or accomplished it in the end, but we also face the consequences for our lateness.

Your heart finds a million ways to remind you that something is missing, and when you can no longer take the weight of the manacles, you will break free and find the courage to listen to your heart and surrender to its needs without a single ounce of shame, for it always will be better late than never to do the right thing.

From a singleton's POV (or if you're in a long distant relationship) and witnessing PDA on public transport / social media / wherever, when that's the last thing you want to see. I'm sure we've all had a dose of this at least once!

For full intro given to this poem, visit - https://ambikajois.wordpress.com/2016/04/19/why-cant-i/

Ever felt so guilty about having done something you shouldn’t have done? How do we overcome such guilt? How do we forgive ourselves? Every crack of dawn and every approaching dusk, we fear being reminded of our wrong doings. All we want to do is forget that it ever happened. Sometimes, we live every single day with a constant reminder of such things and feel so lost yet liberated that the truth is out in the open. We feel so caged yet freed from the burden of bearing a hidden confession. We feel so ashamed yet lucky to be given another chance to once again become that person we know we want to be. We feel so neglected, undeserving of trust and at the lowest point of self-esteem yet we feel the power of our prayers would give us another life to live it like we could never again commit such a sin.

This poem emblazons the message underlying in our struggles to surmount our better selves from who we used to be. We know we will conquer our hardships and can see ourselves on the greener side of our own emotional quotient but let’s not forget how many doubts, fears, questions, rejections, isolation and punishments it takes for us to climb in order to stand right at the top. That top spot is very much ours, we very much deserve it, and we have every single step from the quagmire to the sky to credit for our liberation.

A little piece of my reality during the darned COVID season.

The way *he* makes me feel :-) Butterflies, birds and parachute jumps - that's what love's supposed to feel like! Yes, 24/7!

I wonder, if the quiet and serene Aogashima were to break her silence from 1785 and throw her heat out, how would it appear?
This poem is based on one of my repressed emotions that I felt was connecting with the peaceful yet secretly building Aogashima.

For full intro, visit - https://ambikajois.wordpress.com/2016/04/27/aogashima/

I was once given the advice that I must not believe it's love, because it's my first experience of having feelings for someone. I was also advised to test things out for some time and see if there's someone better for me. All this advice, I followed, but I made some stupid mistakes to get to the right place. I regret those mistakes even if they brought me to the right person.

I believe in synchronicity and that everything I've done, led up to the very moment that was written in the stars for us before I even set my foot on the wrong path. So would I not have gotten there somehow when, what I was seeking was also seeking me? Would we not have found each other anyhow? Without regrets, without time wasted, without resentment and without hurt?

What's love today, if all it means is to test each other's boundaries? Does love not mean to care and be there for those who need that in their lives? Is that not all it is? When did love become so conditioned, experimental, mechanical and all about a trend? And what happens to those who've been best friends and loved each other since childhood? Does it actually help to listen to others' advice on love when you know yourself, your heart and your mind the best?

Here's my poem that asks these simple questions, that has made me even more grateful for what time I do have left in this lifetime to spend with my loved one. Thank you, universe, for not complicating it any further than it already has been, and thank you for keeping it this simple. May you have the same priceless love as I do.

This is what it feels like to know you've always had this one dream, but you never could muster up the courage to exhaust all options to make it come true. This is what it feels like to be in the position to look at another, who's making it work, who makes it look like it's easy, effortless, with a massive smile on their face, sparkles in their eyes and a strong positive energy within their aura. This is what it feels like to know someone like that, whilst wishing you could've achieved your dream, just like they're achieving theirs. This is what it feels like to still have hope that you CAN achieve that dream, just like they have. This is what it looks like deep down, that until you've achieved that dream of yours, you do not feel complete.