the charmolypi insouciant is a
aesthete deviant femme fatale,
rose ocean trickle salvation;
in acatalepsy selcouth
that erlebnisse sillage
anoesis ethics ataraxia
mythopoeic taste metaphysical
catalyst, "we were ceased
letters in awe, while our eyes
made dawn biographies"
because our redemption
is the root of every
raindrop, and my palms
are against your car windows
(I love you)
How do you explain color to someone who cannot see anything because they are blind.
How do you explain the sound of a fork tapping a glass to make a toast at a wedding if they are deaf.
But how do I explain what I feel around a person I'm in love with
Because they can't hear my heart beating faster and my brain running around in overdrive even though I swear to god it sounds like a jackhammer against metal 3 feet thick
It's Unpleasant and to be frank,
Quite obnoxious in its noise.
Yet my brain and heart still does regardless of their inability to see it.
4 months in,
And I still cannot explain to myself
Why I get knots in my stomach whenever I'm about to see her?
4 months in,
And my mouth still stutters when I talk to her
Because for some unknown unexplainable reason,
I cannot seem to find myself a way to tell her how much she means to me.
There's not enough words in the dictionary
Or letters in the alphabet to even scratch the surface,
How do you explain your heart to a person who will never truly see the whole thing
Because all that's left of it
Is a broken blue crayon and a faded stick figure family my heart drew out in kindergarten?
But I’ll give it a shot.
Your love is like finding out there's a way to stop cancer,
Or finding real cheese on the moon.
Your laugh is like trying to find your way back through a forest you've never been to that you forgot to leave breadcrumbs for,
Or looking at the sun just long enough to think of what put it there
And wondering “why do I see a pink orb whenever I blink?”
Is like someone coming out of a small cave sheltered by the wind inviting you in
because you're surrounded by nothing but ice.
Or a hug from a stranger on the street who was in need of some love to make the tears find their way back into the place where they came,
Your bag covered in pins
is like you've gone many places but always found your way back
And finally met me.
Is like I found a song I didn't know existed
But lit up a city in me so long abandoned I thought was just rubble by now
Or a sound Id searched my whole life for had finally found me.
Being around you,
Is like I'm sky diving but there won't be any ground, so I'm sky diving forever.
At first scary and I scream at the top of my lungs afraid of a ground suddenly appearing
Much too close for my liking.
Eventually calm and feel able to see what it's like to fly regardless that I lack wings.
Knowing you love me,
Is like the feeling you get when you don't understand a foreign language and have no idea what to do,
Or laying on a hill during summer
Trying to make shapes in the clouds
And a blue sky that never seems to fade.
Was like when they found the titanic that they looked for decades after it sank,
Or going about your day and bumping into your own hope that decides to then stay with you.
You're like the princess I call you,
And snap back wearing badass that calls me short despite my average height
Because you're taller.
You're like a prayer I never thought would get answered,
Because I don't believe in God
And the girl who wants me to sit in her lap
Despite my crushing weight,
You pretend it doesn't make your legs hurt.
You're like the person that I've always wanted to meet,
But never got a chance to,
And a beautiful girlfriend
Who somehow puts up with my tea drinking yoga studio personality
Even though it's completely the opposite of your coffee drinking crime show watching life.
You're like a mystery I can't analyze because your walls only let out slips of emotion
Just to remind me that they exist,
And a smile that doesn't need super glue to be attached to my face
Because it's not for show
But for happiness instead.
You're like a dance
That I've never wanted to learn but now do despite my hatred for dance,
Or an ability to finally make me speak in front of a crowd without running off stage or incoherently stuttering so much it isn't a language any more and yet a series of pauses,
and a repeated letter in the alphabet that can't seem to make its way through the word.
You're like a poem I'm writing
I don't have to think about it.
It's a part of me,
Not a pushed idea to form.
You're like the girl I'm dating.
One day you’ll meet her,
But just like explaining color to a blind man,
You cannot describe something someone cannot see.
They need to see it for themselves.
i watch people throw those three words
around like they're nothing but decoration.
'i love you' spilling out in the middle of the night,
instead of 'thank you for listening'.
'i love you' instead of 'i like us',
because nobody wants to feel unloved,
and nobody wants to admit they're afraid
of being alone, of being forgotten.
so he says those words to her, trusting
that when she says them back, she'll mean them.
it seems that he hopes that when he says those words,
that she'll stay; that she'll continue to love him.
but what if, in the end, we're all lying?
what if we're all pinning those words in hopes,
hopes that they will stay, and we plaster on a smile,
hoping that they can love us, as we need.
broken and left behind, we pin our hopes
onto those three little words and we listen intently
for them to be said back. we seem to trust, all too much,
in the shared words.
but, when we find out that things won't work,
and the relationship crumbles, we struggle to be okay.
we lose the hope that someone can love us as we need,
we lose the hope that we can love as someone else needs.
Birds flying under sunlit blue skies
Crowded metro stations at night
A walk in the avenue
Chasing the butterflies
Sharing a kiss that tastes like vanilla
The smoke of your cigarette smells sweet
Fake fur coat over a mini skirt
We're Lolita replicas dressed up as Priscilla
The tears we cry in hotel rooms
Shine like diamonds in a faked card deck
The knife on my skin writes a bloody trademark
On my arm, your name and 'I love You'
She hid her feelings behind a charmer
Who made her eyes gleam
Her innocent laughter to his larks
I locked myself in the dark
With his winson coat
Everyday was just plain bliss
For every bus she board
He wouldn't miss
I made my wishes
Dreamt a thousand dreams
Prayed as much I could
There's a mountain before me
One which I couldn't climb
How often I say "I love you"
Though never told how thankful I am
For the memories you gave me
One with the blood red lipstick stain
I remember clearly that day
I met you first
Remember the word I mumbled
And the emotions left unsaid
All this time together
You mean so much more to me
My life and all my dreams
PS I still believe it's forever
Without any doubt