No this wasn't platonic, white and placid
Made out of crimson cherries and blueberries
It was amplifying, reddish, corrosive as acid
I couldn't move my jaw, or breathe; I choked
Like breathing was an illusion I saw before my eye
No! This didn't go away with time.
It resided, very well groomed in my heart
Oh closely! Listen! Can you hear it beat?
And thump, and pound and pound and pound!
No it wasn't an aimless seed planted perfect
It was an explosive, a bomb you say!
What has this world got against my heart?
It cracked, held still and shattered, by sudden?
No! Well rehearsed plots, undergoing attacks.
And words came bursting out,
And blood flooded my mouth
And specked your charming face .
And I fell...
Into your arms, you ask?
No! Onto the ground..
Onto the solid ground that kept me company.
You left, my dear!
Knowing not! Knowing not!
How my craze is a realm of love
And a touch of reality...
Tina RSH ©
I love everything about you.
I love the abundance of freckles scattered over your face, and the way you stumble over your words the same way you stumble over your own feet.
I love the crooked line of your smile and the way your eyes squint as you do it.
I love the chapped skin of your lips and the way words fall from your mouth, and air from your lungs.
I love the color of your eyes and the way they shine in the light of the sun or the dark of the moon.
I don't know why but everything about you is entrancingly beautiful to me.
"I am worried about you"
"Don't be I'm fine I promise"
"Please just talk to me"
"I'll text you tomorrow"
"Okay.. I love you"
"I love you more"
That was the last conversation I had with my best friend before he attempted suicide. He lives across the country and is currently getting help in a mental hospital. If you're thinking about suicide, please stop. Someone cares about you, I promise.
Split from the same atom,
Our souls are bound to one another.
Magnetically pulled together as if they have gravity.
Orbiting this world alone and on different paths,
We were joined in a whirlwind of electricity.
Charged with passion and chemical attraction
Our hearts melted into one.
Forever, I shall be fused to you.
We were perfect
The best two
But you don't look at me like you used to.
I melt when you touch me
A beautiful fire burning inside you
But you don't touch me like you used to.
Home was never a place, it is you
Your arms are my walls, my safety
But you don't protect me like you used to.
The lights close at 10pm, we go anyway
First kiss bursting with love, I feel tingly
Water flows beneath, glowing lanterns
But you don't kiss me like you used to.
Long drives at 3am, coffee & donuts
Kisses at stop lights, holding my hand
But you don't enjoy me like you used to.
Hot tubs at midnight, steamy mirrors
Sexual thirst, unraveling into each other
But you don't crave me like you used to.
Early mornings with coffee and cream
Tired eyes, good morning kisses
My plaid shirt half buttoned & nothing else
But you don't admire me like you used to.
3 hour coffee dates, getting to know you
My travels. Life. My story. It interests you
But you don't talk to me like you used to.
Your beautiful eyes, your paced heart beat
Laying on you, you are my comfort. Mine
Your nose stroking mine, our cloud kisses
But you don't caress me like you used to.
I'm your sweetness, your lover. Yours
Pine tree flavored kisses, butterflies rise
But you don't treasure me like you used to.
"I love you." to "Love you." to "Love."
What have I done? You are everything
You push me away. What do I do?
I ache for you, I am in pain. I am alone
But you don't love me like you used to.
Ignored, unloved, untouched. Me
Alone, depressed, lost. Me.
Now I don't love myself like I used to.
To lame to stand how I feel I press my lips to this glass filled with forget and I swallow deep.
Standing in nothing but a t-shirt, alone in this big empty house I take solace in this glass to numb the pain within.
But as the music changes a song that reminds me of you starts playing. (How Ironic wouldnt you say)
I close my eyes tightly... tense up...try to fight it... but before I know it my body is a slave to this beat and it makes my body come alive.
My hand grazes my bare thighs and I lose myself just briefly....
I pause as I remember how good it felt when you touched me.
I remember the electricity and how you use to look at me. God, the chemistry...moments later your face appears so clear and perfect in my mind.
"Oh god, I hate this!" I think, as I press into the counter top behind me. I try my hardest to stop thinking about you but memories of you are coming in waves and im being swept away.
I cant help but imagine what it felt like when youd slide your hands to wrap around me...my god, the safest I ever felt.
I ache for you.
These memories are torment.
Tears stream down my flushed cheeks.
I bring my hand to my lips and I'm lost again. I imagine bringing your lips to mine and how much of a rush it was each time. You were intoxicating. Kissing you was like a drug I could never kick. Always wanting more. Entangled in eachother. Hold tight, each moment I did. Never wanting it to end. Kissing in such synchronisation. Kissing you was nothing but second nature.
But I fight it, I try and shake it off, to shake you off, and your face disappears brielfy and my hips begin to sway falling slave again to our perfect song. To the beat of my favorite song. The song about us.
I dont know how you do it. I dont know how you forget such an addicting thing we had. But you did and I'm lost with only memories now. Memories I have to bury. Because they give me so much pleasure but they also bring so much pain.
I had a dream the other night where I was scared of the monster chasing me. The road ahead of me split two ways and I was left to make a decision. You or him.
One would be my savior, the other my destruction. So I ran to you, no hesitation, you were my safety, my home. You held your arms open and I ran into your embrace. On contact you wrapped your arms around me and the world disappeared along with my fears.
You let me go but I feel the warmth of your palm on mine. It's nice, I'll admit. I've never felt something so special and innocent.
But I don't want innocent. Not now. I don't want sweet writing. Your metaphors and happily-ever-after stories won't give me an
orgasm. I want hot, luscious evening sweating in wild love sheets. I want embers between my legs when we stop to catch a breath.
I want to yearn for your lips when they aren't on my skin. I want to gasp when you touch me there. To see your smirk when I react as
you anticipate. I want unbreakable eye-contact as we dance across the mattress to no particular beat. I want to feel, see and taste
your soul through your magnificent body. So throw away your words for now and make me pant in positions undiscovered by
anyone. Make me finish so vehemently that the poor neighbors think I'm being maliciously murdered. That's all I need.