This is not just a tangible cold
But a chill in the heart
To say goodbye and love from afar
For the very one you held so dear
Became the root cause of many a fear
One never knows you're in the eye of the storm
Until you escape and look back
From the other side of the mirror
Things have now become clear
Uproot and cast away
The naysayers who sowed pitfalls in your way
Yet bid such not a bitter farewell
For hiding underneath that glossy shell
Unveiled a serpent you thought you knew so well
April 4th, 2020
Sometimes the one closest to you is your biggest enemy...
i don't understand why you won't look me
in the eye anymore.
who were you then?
who was i?
i don't understand the faces you wore.
were you always like this?
i don't understand why i trusted you so
i still trust you
why did i ever cry?
i don't understand what you've become.
did you ever like me?
i don't understand why i can't forget about
how we were friends.
do you think about this too?
i don't understand why i still think about
why do i care about you so much?
you won't change
and neither will i.
(this was from a long time ago)
Feeling those micro abandonments like the setting sun upon my amygdala's shore,
No longer residing in my mind's old tenemants, I can see only strangers at my left-side door,
Wreathed in layer upon layer of distrust, I cannot open myself up anymore,
I couldn't bear to see your bold stars dimmed by the enveloping mist of what came before.
What kind of existence will find me tomorrow if any existence at all?
I've been begging for another's burdens to borrow, mine can no longer make me fall,
I'm learning that in my old mirror and shame, I can sometimes see the face of Saul,
Blind in my wandering and bashful in blame, I am forever lost in the stories I cannot recall.
All I was taught is
Fear and suspicion
I locked my lips
And threw away the key
So why is it
That you still can't put your trust in me?
I haven't done anything, so why..?
Want to rely on
Someone I like
To lean on
A tidal wave of emotions
Coming over me
Feeling like a deportee
I found myself in
Lost and dehydrated
I'm the unwilling victim
You act so cool with me
Then change your words
Don't want to break
Your trust in me
But you made me
You showed me
Your not someone
To rely on
© Sofia Villagrana 2020
where are the times
when people could rely
more or less
on what their leaders
whom they had elected
spoke and did?
when there was yet no need
to fact-check every other sentence
of presidential self-appraisals
or denigrating tweets about opponents?
after three years of suffering
through all shenanigans of the most blatant kind
it seems that rudeness, ignorance, and lies
have quietly become accepted as new normal
we've learned that people we elected
to fight for our cause
can say one thing
and then the opposite
throw in a lie or two
and nobody complains
or votes them out of their coveted offices
thanks to the wonderful examples of our leaders
we now have learned to distrust everybody
eight billion plus of unreliables
Apropos the recent appalling B-movie production in the U.S. Senate re: impeachment of Donald J. Trump
My dear, I am sorry for what I have done.
The past continues to haunt my present day actions and feelings, and I feel that has shown time and time again.
I sincerely apoligise for me being so clingy. Clingy enough to make you stay away from me.
I sincerely apoligise for me being so oblivious and idiotic whenever we talk. I often don't realise that you want to drop a certain topic, or that you are generally uncomfortable with whatever situation I put you in.
Please understand that I've never meant to cause you mental anguish, but instead, love and endless support.
I know that, in the end, you doubt most of what I say.
And I wish that I could so something to make that distrust go away.
Maybe someday you'll see the light in between the scenes.
Or perhaps someday the darkness of the scenes will overwhelm us both, and we will no longer have the need to worry.
Please come back soon... I miss you, and I need you here in my arms.
All the love,
Will often combust
What burns too fast
The flames may dance
The heat may warm
But fast-moving blazes
Only aim to harm
The flowers you gave me turned to darts. So I took them in hand and proceeded to throw them at all your other lovers' hearts. Hit them I did, directly in the center. Steady bullseye. But they didn't die. Those wounded hearts turned to a pack of wolves and chased you into the nearest wood. It's there they devoured every last part of you -- your could, would, and should. Eaten up by your own pretty lies. A fitting way to say our final goodbyes. Fallacy was a refreshing pool you employed to hoodwink. And so we'll gladly spread your ashes over this drink.