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Jehzeel Apr 12
When was the last time you felt loved?
When was the last time you let down of your walls and be vulnerable?
When was the last time you said "I love you" sincerely?
Dates? Months? Years?

Nah! it was all because of that stupid person whom you gave your all and received none in return that made you skeptical after all.
The butterflies that used to be in your stomach already left,
gone with the person you thought were your meant.

But hey, lovelies!
Blame not the love but the lover.
It's time to give yourself some love.
A love coming from you,
not from others.

By the time you are ready to love again,
By the time you find the person to be vulnerable with again,
By the time you speak love sincerely again,
It's no longer for someone else's sake
Because you know you are worthy of the love you deserve.
Nicole Dec 2020
Forgiving is more than difficult and challenging

But if to not forgive or forget

You will live your life in regret and denial

Resent will build and build

For we are humans for we f*ck up and do things we deeply regret

For not to be excusable but responsible

If to imagine a world with them gone or hurt

Remorse and resent in yourself will imperfectly mix

Building a lifetime of continuous persistent regret

The question being is it worth it to not forgive and forget

For will you ever truly move on?
I would beg on bent knee
for all the gods to bring you
back to me

We were giants once
Do you remember?
The days we basked in
the sunlight
On the rocks, where the waves
crashed down upon us
Skin warmed and kissed
by the dying rays

I would beg on bent knee
for all the gods to bring you
back to me

When we became shrunken
like the voodoo heads
That hang in car windows
Do you remember?
You smiled back at me
Crookedly, lovingly

Your tender heart could
not bear the darkness
As I have welcomed it in
Easily, like an old friend

And I'd rip these trees
Root and stem
Beg on bent knee
For you, back again

And where will I stand?
When the earth opens up
and swallows me whole
Like the hole in my heart

Back in the place I left you
is where you'll find me
Down on bent knee

Earth rumbling with anger

I'll never be free
©2020 Christina Jackson
SAME Sep 2020
A dreadful thing does creep around,
one careful foot at a time.
A dreadful thing does creep around,
in narrow passages in my mind.

I keep it close, for it is mine,
but no light of day will see.
I keep it close for it is mine,
this torment inside of me.

It's a fragile threat on the mind,
like a draped veil over the mourning.
It's a fragile threat on the mind,
sometimes I hear it calling.

Rendered now, to just my spite,
my loves, you are the ones to receive.  
Rendered now to just my spite,
know it's also my heart that bleeds.

Anger riddles the mind,
it rules and it recks.  
The temper I've ignored,
now like a bird in the mind,
that pecks ....
                        ...................... and pecks.
And I'll whisper your name on my lips
That brief moment when I could still feel you there
It's an empty space that I don't wish to replace
anytime soon

You meet certain people at the right time
They come into your life for a few minutes, hours
even years

Sometimes you get those people who are meant to be
lessons, mixed up with the ones who will always stay

And sometimes you fall so ******* hard
you stumble through the days
Forget time exists

Your brain is wasted on fantastical thoughts
and unrealistic expectations
That narrative you wrote in your head
doesn't actually exist

And if we don't tell the people we fall for
how we feel, are we supposed to go
through life wondering what if?

Cut the ******* cord
burn it to ash
*******, just tell that person
and who knows
the feelings may not last

A temporary feeling
They could just crumble away
and isn't that so true of the time we are given?
I won't let myself wait for you

We waste it away
and wonder years later
what happened to that person
we thought we loved so much

It was like a fire inside of my heart
the logs burned long and bright
Oh, but darling it was snuffed out
without a fight

I was never worth fighting for
And if you don't go down screaming
for the ones you love
what is the ******* point?

I want to feel ALL of you
the warm breath on my skin
Whispering nonsensical *******
into my ear
it doesn't even matter
or have to make sense

And to taste you would
be a sweet ******* dream
Always slightly out of reach
And that hail storm hits you
knocks you off that pedestal
where I so foolishly held you

And your fingers, those hands
once held this face, these hips
and I forgot what it felt like
to love, the way you taste

To have any ounce of hope
and it ******* hurts
Knowing I can't have you here
the way I want you
Unavailable in so many ****** ways

I crush my own heart
I don't need help from anyone else
And yet you are still here, not
actually here with me
An intangible thought

Your body makes me want
to commit sins the gods would
strike me down
for thinking such thoughts
Please, forgive me, I'll confess

Your lips leave me hanging here
like the former shell of a human
a ghost without a home
because home was always with you

I could turn these buildings to ash
with these flames inside of my chest
It was beautiful to watch it all burn

I was worth fighting for
We were worth fighting for
and you let it all go to ****

All of these moments with you
disappear into the abyss
© 2020 Christina Jackson
just some **** I wrote while trying to avoid my problems, don't think it worked
Jack R Fehlmann May 2020
A lot of this rotten ending
Is at its core, mine, my fault.
I know it now, as i then could not
See it for an awful, unfortunate
Though those words fail,
Falling short of all I cost, us.
So much, too much for a choice
One, miscalculation of an emotion
Keystone in importance, it was
To lie or act falsely I was not
I could not, because I was in love
With one like I never knew
Love was abundant, cherished
More so than I held for life itself
Therein lays the real reason, love
I chose to love you with all I had
Every last fraction of myself
I gave freely, I wanted for you to have
Every bit of how I was feeling
The thrill and the beating chest
Ache that made life worth living
My mistake came as consequence
The cause and effect,
I wish I had seen this, I didn't
Known before one can give,
So very much, one must have
Accepted the equal amount
Not from another, from oneself
I never learned how to, or the importance, see?
to love you, came natural easy, but
Having never loved myself.
And for this, to us
I say I am so, so, very sorry.
That this part of
Of this, of then, of us
what was, and isn't
Was my fault.  
Now loving myself
Us far more difficult
It begins with forgiving
That is where I am now.
My lack of self worth made us doomed from the start.  I see this now.  I am sorry you were hurt.  Love yourself baby as you need to and maybe one-day forgive all I caused.
k May 2020
To taste the sounds
To turn back time
To read in complete darkness
To travel faster than light
All would have to be possible
For me to forgive
thispanman Feb 2020
this is a kind of poem I'm not-so-good at, so hope you like it
Just cause neither of us believed
In happy endings
Does not mean we don't deserve one

Just cause you grew up knowing pain
So much better than love
Does not mean you shouldn't learn

Just cause life has not been fair
Or easy on you
Does not mean you should give up

Or am I wrong

Should we just give up
Just cause we're hurt
Just cause we were once broken

Should we allow them
Those things that broke us
To shape us

Or does that crucify you

Onto the cross of pain and torment
Living within the rumors
Crafted only to destroy you

Can one leave their skeletons buried
Smile and truly believe it
Even while dying a little everyday
Brooke Feb 2020
Does growing up mean, forgetting?
About all the people I've known till now
Does growing up mean, letting go?
Of who I was, many years ago
Does growing up mean, forgiving?
The trauma I've had to heal from
Does growing up mean, losing you?
The only one, who got me through
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