i isolate myself in my room and keep the lights turned low the love i create within myself dissipates every time i breathe you are only a figment of my imagination my mind is the only solace even though she screams at me i fall in love in seconds but i don't know what love is the little girl i am knows nothing about this world i can't live on my own independence has never been taught to me the only way i can stabilize is if i drown myself in concrete who i am is not known and who i am not is alone
I hate my codependency. I wish I could throw my world into the ocean. And let the sand warm me, let my own heat warm me. These figures of my life, I trick my mind into thinking they are the air, the water, The reasoning. I wish my maturity would complete. So I could be content with myself as the sun and the land. I want to conquer my own terrains and build my own ships. Not sit waiting at the dock for a crew that will never come.
I act like a wolf in sheep's clothing I have a big bark I act strong I say how I will never let anyone walk all over me and the louder the voice my opinions, the more stronger and confident I am But it is all an act. Once I let people into my life, I let them use me I never speak up for myself and stand up I cry every night because I am unhappy with myself I am a sheep in wolf's clothing.