dear i wonder is it you
that i love, treasure
is it the love you give me?
I am gilded. You deserve wonders beyond gold.
The lack of serenity I feel when staring at you
serves as a reminder of the incompatibility
between dichotomies inside of me.
I become worried in this state
of expecting, needing.
Overly reliant on
The evaluation of your existence
within a definable vicinity to mine.
in the middle is where
I let go and You catch me.
in the middle is where I lose
myself and became whole again
in the middle is where
You sew together
my broken heart.
In the middle is where
You want me.
so I'm trusting that
in the middle
is where You'll perform
Your greatest miracle.
When I tried running, God always found me. I'm learning that in the middle is where I'm supposed to be. I'm safe in God's hands. In the middle is where he won't ever let me go. He wants to renew my mind and my soul and teach me to rely on him.
I love people like they’re gods.
With an offering at my side,
What do you want me to do while I am begging,
And you give me silent air?
When I want breathes, I stay home
And hold my sins in my lungs,
And count the seconds I am alive with dragged nails on skin.
This is why I can’t keep them long enough to draw blood.
I go to church for screams.
I go to let my heart beat in the hands of the Father.
Run me ragged, I want to have a use again.
Take my spirit, my soul and have me wonder if it’s one and the same.
To have him hold my body down and rip the sin out
If some should stay, I’d rather you leave me nothing.
Why am I a bug trapped to this Holy Bible?
Dust particles floating like flies,
Maybe this time you’ll make a sound.
And call for me.
Open the gates and I could be starving
And I could be gone to the world
And I’ll still tell you I miss you and I love you forever
Because people have left so much, the only word I know is stay
And they have so much left to say, the only word they know is sorry.
Walking Running sun down...Yes I'm Pursuing
Turn around Lock Eyes...I knew it
Drag me by my soul...Whisper in my ear
Tell me what's real
I have something to tell you but I don’t think it’s important to you
What is it?
I’m thinking of leaving this place.
Why wouldn’t that be important news to me?
I don’t think you want me here much longer.
I don’t. But who else will I take from?
So you need me?
I can feel your being
Slowly becoming entangled in mine
Like the roots of an oak
Stretching its limbs deep down
Into the earth's soil
The oak cannot survive
Without the soil
You have become my soil
and that terrifies me.
i am terrified.
i isolate myself in my room and keep the lights turned low
the love i create within myself dissipates every time i breathe
you are only a figment of my imagination
my mind is the only solace even though she screams at me
i fall in love in seconds but i don't know what love is
the little girl i am knows nothing of this world
i can't live on my own
independence has never been taught to me
the only way i can stabilize is if i drown myself in concrete
who i am is not known
and who i am not is alone
What a lovely little lie to live
I bent the bitter truth just a bit
Sorry but I
Try not to rock the boat
My life is dependent on
I hate lying but sometimes it's necessary