It starts with the point of a finger,
followed by boisterous laughter that echoes through the halls,
bouncing off the compact walls as it hits me over and over again,
it’s nothing but snickers of laughter and mockery.
Disparaging words that are spoken with the absence of adults,
are launched at me with no remorse,
tossed around like candy given to children.
Like a broken record,
it repeats without ceasing,
as it ricochets in my inadequate brain,
filling vacant spaces.
It buries me deep below,
disturbing my oxygen supply,
slowly, slowly, I begin to slip within the grasp of self consciousness.
Looks of disapproval are thrown at me,
but they’re only reflected upon the ripples of the water,
far, far, above me, for I am sinking,
propelling me deeper into endless sea.
I hit the ocean floor,
a sunken ship waiting to be found,
as I hide within the tides to drown away my misery.
Praying that the water covers my imperfections,
my existence, for if I am not spotted by their vulture eyes,
there is nothing for their deadly beaks to tear apart,
nothing for them to criticize, humiliate, or decipher.
and I think, “I do not belong in this world.”
A commanding shout ripples through the water,
reverberating through the heads of many,
fighting its way past the countless layers of darkness,
created by legion spiteful comments.
It sheds light through the windows of my confined bedroom,
breaking away the darkness and inner chants of I do not fit in I do not fit in I do not fit in,
influentially saying, you belong you belong you belong.
She tells me I am more than spoken,
constant reminders of I am worth more than told,
her mellow voice sparks a warmth in my chest.
Her presence swarms me,
telling the largely built guy to back off as he sneers my way,
standing up to the horde of kids who hurls comments in my direction,
and I feel my heart swell up with relief.
The darkness slowly slips away,
fading as if it was never there,
escaping through the cracks of the shattered mirror.
It’s taken away like seashells on the shore,
the wave dragging the negativity along with it.
It only took one firm voice,
one voice to cause a domino effect,
knocking the rest of them out of place.
There are no more disparaging words spoken under their breaths,
no more sickening looks of judgement tossed around,
they all soon fade within the background,
leaving all serene.
I have always belonged.
And when I see their repulsive attempts to tear down the self esteem,
of a girl hutched in the corner of the room,
with tears a stream and arms wrapped around herself,
I take a stand.
I tell them to stop, to think of the devastating effects of their harsh words,
to be respectful, to leave her alone, to apologize.
I reach down to the fragile girl,
lightly tapping on her shoulder with a emphatic smile,
and I say, “You belong in this world.”
you belong in this world despite the chaos, the madness, you are part of this world, a puzzle that fits in.