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rayma 4d
i'm watching from inside
a glass case,
the delicate pieces of time immemorial
arranged in displays around me,
layouts they memorize but never really notice.
when someone passes by
the pieces all quiver,
fragile ceramics in a chorus of jingles
trying to catch their attention.
but the sound becomes a part of the backdrop,
like the slightest groan of a floorboard beneath the rug
or the squeak of a cabinet door.
we rattle closer to the edge,
pressing our faces against the glass
to get a glimpse of home:
still-lifes done by a familiar hand,
worn wooden floors that don’t match the rest,
a room that hasn’t been painted in decades.
a few times each year
on special occasions
you open the cabinet door
and let us adorn the dinner table.
and then it’s back to our shelves,
watching from behind the glass,
waiting for a glimpse of home.
miki Jul 28
today i walked west
but only for a couple of minutes before i reached the old church that i've lived next door to practically my entire life
it's from the '60s, and as soon as you walk in a sign is still hung in the entry that reads
"Colored Church" with a cross underneath
i always loved it here
it's small
cozy
with a ringing sense of familiarity
much reminiscent of the people who gather here every Sunday
really,
it's been my quiet place for a while
somedays i come just to bask in the uninterrupted silence that it offers
but most, i sit at the old, nearly crumbling piano that's slightly out of tune
at the very front
and i'll just play for hours
simply to get lost in the echos of the pitch that's just barely off, but that's not unlistenable
it's become somewhat of a sanctuary to me
and i'm probably crazy to seek solace in a place whose very nature, more times than not, tends to frighten me
but maybe everything that i fear
is what ultimately will bring me the most joy

at least that's what i will let myself believe
Thomas W Case Jul 18
I'm fermenting in
isolation.
Covid 19 for the third
time this year.
After a skyrocket of a
writing streak,
I've had a two month
dry spell.
I'm sure the dope and
***** didn't help.

Hell smells like
loneliness and
white paper.
It tastes like
sulfur and burnt toast.
I see ghosts around
every corner, and they
sound like bats,
screeching at the
black night.

I'm in treatment,
and I will spend five
days in my room.
They will bring my
meds and meals.
They also gave me
a tablet and said,
I can watch all the
Net Flix that I want.

****!
To write or to watch
the idiot box.
That is the dilemma.
I sure hope that
this
febrile state that I am
in produces some
good writing material.
Pun intended
T J Green Jun 13
I am half a world away,
With a broken heart
Time travelling through the days,
Crying for the normality
That set us on this path in the first place.

In the past,
You tell me of your plans,
For the day I’ve already lived through
And I ache
To live it over again by your side..

How do I pull myself out
Of this mess I’m in?
Counting down the days
To the future when we share
The same timeline,
And even though
That horizon is the closest it’s been
It feels like a million lifetimes away.

How did we do this before?
Distance tearing me apart
Alone in the future,
Staring at white wall
That cannot be home
Until you share them with me.

I have loved you for so many years,
It’s all I really know,
The only way I can breathe,
Is focusing in the journey to bring you
Here with me.

I need to be brave now.
More so than I have ever been,
And my dear I am trying.
But it’s so hard to move forward
When I want to keep looking back
And wait for you.

But forward I’ll walk
Making the preparations I can
So when you fly through time
You reach the future worth travelling for.

In the past, right now and the future too
One constant remains true,
I have, I will, i do,
I love you.
***
miki Jun 8
someone should have known better than to leave me by myself
surrounded by objects only reminiscent of a home
i thought that i could mangage it, because i wanted it to work
but maybe
not to feel like a stranger in the house you’ve known for years
just takes a little more time
so i sit
on the couch, in the very corner
the same spot i've sat in for years
and stare
at the tv that bares only my reflection
with nothing else to see

just me
my reflection in the tv
and a house that never felt like home
T J Green Apr 24
One day
I might find the words for how I feel
And as they pour out of me
There will be no way to stop the flood.
I’ve tried so hard, for so long
To hold myself together
And now I fear the damage that may have done

A little bit of rain is mostly harmless
But crashing waves can destroy everything in their wake
And I know the pain and fear I feel is violent
I don’t want to lash out and hurt anyone by mistake

I know that things are rarely ever easy
When a war rages in your brain everyday
But the guilt of struggling
When your dreams are manifesting
Is such a heavy burden when your soul is torn this way

I have always struggled with the big stuff
I feel so much, so often, it can be hard to breathe
But I’m drowning in my own ******* emotions
And I fear I’m now way too far out at sea.

I know this drifting is but temporary,
And I know I have to keep on trying to swim
Because the shore is far closer than it seems
And the tide will turn in a way that cam bring me in
But I feel my strength is fading
And the night is drawing in so fast.
I was never meant to be in this world alone
I carry too many scars upon my heart

I won’t give up today, if ever.
I owe you all at least that much.
I beg forgiveness for my self indulgent ramblings.
I beg forgiveness from myself for what I’ve done.

For now I’ll keep treading water
I’ll trust that I can bring myself back from the deep
And I’m grateful everyday that you are out there.
So that I can write this heartache and not just weep.

With love to you
From the deep.
Daivik Apr 6
Just floating in this world like a rudderless ship

An aimless traveller on a nowhere trip
Nexus Apr 4
I feel so alone like I'm trapped in my home.
and these thoughts in my head tell me I ought a be dead.
I ******* **** at this ****.
"No you don't you're just tired."
"Everyone loves you, cant you see you're admired?"

But I don't believe what I conceive in my dreams.
So you must be a liar.
This isn't how things in this life should have been.
My soul is on fire.
This isn't how things in this life could have been.
My soul is on fire.
But I don't believe what I perceive in front of me.

Sands of time made from liquid-solid-matter.
People flowing like atoms recycling motions.
I know in my mind that things don't really matter.
Climbing the planet and mapping the oceans.
I would loose my mind if my brain got any fatter.
People flowing like atoms recycling motions.
Struggling to be social.
I am Frozen
- Still -
in Space

Trapped between
solid Waters
and biting Winds,

All I ever
wished for
were some Wings.
© 07/01/2022
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