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Vinca 10h
It's me who should know better
It's me who should make the sacrifice
It's me who should be strong
when others won't.

for what?

When did I get so used to
burn every inch of myself out
for acception and love
that no one grants me?

for what?

It's me who knows better
It's me who makes the sacrifice
It's me who is strong
as it's the only choice

for what?

When did it get so hard not to
wear everything on my sleeve
as opposed to hide them so
I won't be noticed?

for what?

It's me who is the fool
It's me who is the attention-seeker
It's me who is the weakling
still painfully invisible.

no reason, no consequence
no beginning, no end

after all, I'm the girl who can't hurt herself
who can't heal herself
who can't neither exist nor perish.
It's me who is the utmost liar

no savior, no captor
no one, no one, no one.
Val Graz 22h
If I could **** myself without leaving a bloodstain on the white carpet,
I would as long as I didn't have to stare at these four walls of my apartment,
Not one more day in complete and utter isolation,
Without a lover, friend, or companion,
Oh if I had a bottle of pills I'd down them all,
If there were enough stairs, I'd fall, fall, fall,
climb up to the roof and jump and fly,
Because here I am alone, barely getting by,
I push away those I love, and cherish those who get off on me,
I'm their little play toy, and they invade me with their armies,
Here alone in between these four walls,
I'm deader than a corpse, but not a doll,

Please use me in any way, as long as I can feel,
Just for a moment not so alone in my appeal,
Because just I'm stuck here in flesh and bone,
Doesn't mean I always have to be alone,
Just send me a way that doesn't end in crimson on snow,
And I'll be gone before dawn's light can show,

I call out night after night with rarely an answer,
And when they do it's for a night and they retreat fast and faster,
And the visits of my loved ones they grow shorter,
But me, I'm a glutton for punishment, so I grow heavier,
No one can love this damsel in her dungeon,
Spinning wool for a never showing master,
All I want is someone to love me for all my faults,
But all do is show one, just one, and my knights bolt,
Slain by the demon that is the shadow in my soul,
With silken hair of corn, that's my nightmares coal,
So bring me an out that ends with no blood,
And I'll be gone before the rising of the sun,

Please use me in any way, as long as I can feel,
Just for a moment not so alone in my appeal,
Because just I'm stuck here in flesh and bone,
Doesn't mean I always have to be alone,
Just send me a way that doesn't end in crimson on snow,
And I'll be gone before dawn's light can show.
I guess I need to not sleep and not take my meds more often if I write **** like this? lol
If you go down to the store and buy a soda pop
You'll notice that bottle is nice shiny and filled to the top
You walk out of the store smiling with glee
Ready for the sweet taste of the pop yippee!
But when you ***** open the cap the bottle sprays
you never could've seen it would act such a way
Now you're left with a sticky mess
On your shoes and sleaves all the rest
And you think to yourself "wow what a day"
Then you think "Who would behave such a way!"
I would rather have someone yell and scream at me than for them to lie to me about how they feel.
day in, day out,
all the same
eating,
sleeping,
playing games

sometimes I look
at these **** walls
and in a way,
I hope they fall

but then I take
a look outside
and it just makes me
wanna cry

it's so **** cold
I'd freeze to death
so here I sit
and waste my breath

I feel so useless,
so **** lazy
I can't get out
i'm going crazy
I look outside
pray for relief
but the weatherman
says "wait a week"

but it has been
a couple days
don't think I can
go on this way

I have to break out
from my mind
or I won't make it to tonight
everyone and everything is getting to me, and I don't want to do ****. Just wanna hibernate, but my ******, scumbag brain won't let me sleep
when scenes
pixelate
halt in a cell's
frozen scream
slow-motion rage
cloaks grief

do earth's plates
shift at all
respond to pain
torn out of shape
in savage roar

no

we matter to ourselves
on some days
while he or she
reads the code
to check the tides

oscillate in
crawl space
hidden
in island habitat's
darkened cave

we try to breathe
solitary venture
as days run out
leaving dust
and bones

in silence

as a new
dawn
rises
when depression's dark dirge speaks... may we find a way to wait for a new dawn
Vinca 3d
You know you have no place among them.

They fit and form a breathtaking picture
like pieces of a puzzle.

Your edges are odd as they've always been.

But you aren’t a part of that picture
you can’t be a part of that picture.

Your edges are odd, you don’t fit.

There are so many people
there are so many pictures.

Your edges are odd and that's not required.

They don’t need or want your presence
maybe they aren't even aware of it.

Your edges are odd, it's not a blessing.

Too abstract, too fluid
the textbook definition of "nuisance".

You know you have no place among them.
JoJo 4d
i am in prison
but it’s not what you think.
there are no bars.
no chains.
there are no scheduled visitations
except for the demons
that visit me in my nightmares.
and the monsters under the bed
That greet me
When I wake.

Instead, i am
imprisoned by my own
tumultuous thoughts of anxiety
and contrition

i am in prison
made from my own
imaginary friends.
and i can’t seem
to find
release.
she was apprehensive
towards my behavior
and each night she
kindly asked me
to come to
bed early
with
her

but
I
would
never
listen

and thinking
about it now
as I’m screaming
for an early
bedtime
I understand
where she was
coming from

but in the grand
scheme of things,
all
those
nights
exploding with
self-engagement,
unmanageable
consciousness,
unsuitable stability,
brimful and glistening
with insomnia, insanity
intoxication, isolation
in that red light
of the new dawn
were just to beautifully
violent and untimely
to ever slow down.

all
those
nights

while
her
flea-bitten
salt-crusted
mouth
snored
through
it
all.
Oh no.
     Why did I decide
  to

    to

to
      to
to

   to
to
to
to
to


            to                
                          to
                                             to
                                                                      to
                                                                                      LOOK?


And now
All of a sudden

I can't-

                     It was-

                                

                                          It's-

                It's really-



                            I didn't want-

...


Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord.

Taste this.

Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord.

Watch this.

Discord.
Discord.
Discord.
Discord.
Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord. Discord.

F E E L  T H I S

Discord.
           Discord.
   Discord.

             Discord.

Discord.

          Discord.
Discord.



           Discord.

















Discord.
ANXIETY. WHY DID I SEE IT.
Deadwood Jawn Jan 16
C R A V E
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         R   R
         A
         V           A
         E                 V     E
     E      
       V                     V
          A          A
            R    R
            C  
          C  R A V E            
       C  R  A  V  E
       C R A  V E
   C  R  A  V  E                








Crave.
I long for company. Meaningful ones..
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