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Rachael 2d
I guess I should start by saying it's always been a part of me
Although I never really noticed it until it had been pointed out to me
Countless times, that question was repeated:
"Why are you like this?"
"Why are you like this?"

I kept yelling back "I don't know!"
But the message never seemed to go through
Confused and frustrated, I curled up into my shell
I walked alone in my quiet hell

Because that's what they wanted, right?
That's what they expected?
I guess I grew to comply
But inside I felt rejected
I thought they wanted the pain to eat me alive

And now, here I am
Just trying to find myself again
But I fear they'll gossip if I leave my cage
But with that mindset, nothing will change

I will never be saved.
Dante 3d
With every word, with every misguidance
This sharp, unbearable thing that digs into the center of me.

This sweetness that I salt ‘till it is nothing but undrinkable sea water.

This love wrapped in the ribbons of Death; almighty Death-

The end of human connection.
Em MacKenzie Oct 11
I don’t know if it’s just the bitter cold
or the failure of the liquor to warm my soul,
but there’s frostbite on my lungs and an emptiness deep inside me.
“The future is bright” oh what a lie,
spending every night with my only company; the sky,
the stars lose the fight and even fade when the sun rises high,
and it does so spitefully.

I’ve got unlimited time,
claiming invincibility as a crime.
I’ve got an endless list in rhyme,
but I have no conclusion.

Tell me Scout, is this a joke you were planning?
Boo Radley’s tree is not for hanging.
Gritted teeth and fists are banging.

I’ve got unlimited time,
but no energy left for the climb.
I’ve got never ending points to chime,
but it’s all an illusion.

Tell me Scout, is this a joke I’m not understanding?
Boo Radley’s tree is not for hanging.
Dodging punches and slurs they’ve all been slanging.

I evaluated the situation up and down, left and right,
and I still don’t think it’s accurate of that night,
‘cause the level was too hard when I meant to choose beginner.
I tried to hold your interest with all my might,
but I noticed your eyes drastically dim in light,
the screen flashed “game over” before we were even done dinner.
Sam H Oct 8
navy crystal skies,
hidden dreamy paradise

life fades away
as i await the sun to rise

when the light touches
the boundless evergreen

i am filled with contentment,
happiness i've never seen
Jemima Mitra Sep 26
I walk in and three heads turn around
They look me up and they look me back down.
It’s like they’ve never seen a brown girl
On this side of town.

It makes me uncomfortable enough
To want to walk back out that door
But then again I’m in Beverley
And dressed like a bit of a *****.

It seems I’m the only brown girl
Here for another mile
So walking into a pub
Kinda feels like I’m standing on trial.

Their eyes meet mine
But they do not smile
Their looks feel cold
As if they’ve just been told

A dodgy secret about me
And they’re trying to suss out if it’s true.
Even though you hold my hand as we walk through
I feel a distance between me and you.

You tell me that they probably think I’m pretty
But why is it that I suddenly feel ******?
It didn’t look like admiration in their eye
But I brush it off with a sad sigh

I don’t bring it up for the rest of the night
But if looks could bite
These men could’ve given me rabies
But now you’ve rattled me with maybes

‘Cos maybe they want me to have their babies
(Which is a gross enough thought in itself)
But no, I pull my suspicions from the shelf
I can’t deny the wary nature of myself

Because maybe it’s a subtle stealth -
Beer by beer a racist’s inhibitions fall
My brown skin a matchstick
To their flammable racist shawl

I avoid their eyes
But feel their’s burning into my back
I am on edge and ready
Waiting for their attack.

But in the same breath
I am showered with compliments
Some of your friends tell me I’m beautiful
And that they’re glad we’re suitable.

I’m in a pub - I shouldn’t be feeling perpetual doom!
I try to focus but he still stares at me from the bar
He’s at the other end of the room
Yet it doesn’t feel all that far.

People talk to me but I barely hear
What is being said
Because a new question runs
Through my pretty brown head

It clouds my judgment
And leaves my view distorted:
Does he think I'm pretty
Or does he just want me deported?
Dante Sep 26
I don’t mean to be rude, it just comes out that way. I’m just tryin’ too hard. The moon looks full sometimes, and when I look out the window, I can’t quite see it.
I can’t quite see it.

It’s like that sometimes. There’s something beautiful. I want to reach it with words. I want the permission to hold it. But I can’t quite say it. I open my mouth, and I can’t quite say it. I’m sorry. I wish it were different.
Deadwood Jawn Sep 24
Look at me, dear...
And just see..
I AM DISCONNECTED.

               I am ALONE.
               None have time for me!
               Yes, though some do,
               It is not the ones I want.

MY, HOW SELFISH!
HOW UNGRATEFUL!

                                        No.. That's just..
                                        How I feel.
                                       I can't connect with the same gender.
                                        I hate being emotional with
                                                            ­                       other men.
         I need the opposite
  gender.
They're much more...
                                    Accepting.
Validating­ and
                                                             warm.
                   I can express myself
authentically, then.

They all got with their boyfriends and left me.
They all got with their girlfriends and left me.
They all got jobs and left me.
Yes, all the greatest and warmest
listeners...
                   They left me.
                                             Not a day goes past where
                                             I do not think of them.
                                                           ­   My soul yearns and needs.
                                                          ­    I am needing.

People stopped looking after themselves..
And left me.

                            I don't care if I'm selfish.
I do not care if I sound ungrateful.
             I know who I am.
                                               I know how much I give.
                    I know I'm allowed to.. Express.
No, yes...
             I will not be denied.
                                                         ­                                I
                                                               ­  Really
                                                Still
    ­                              Crave
                           And
                      Need
                 So much....

...
Slow.

I miss the days.
Where my friends or classmates
Would disclose to me that
they cut themselves too.
I miss that.
Not because I enjoy them suffering...
But because I enjoyed that intimacy...
What must I do?

                                     What must I do?
              What must I do?

                                                            ­   What must I do?

                                                            ­ Find a girlfriend?
                                                     ­        No...
                                                           ­  I am not strong enough
                                                          ­   For that, yet.

No...

                              No, not yet.

            No...

Wrap your hands around my heart and let me feel again.
O accursed. Please.
Yes, do see my pain and agony inside.
For I am bleeding out.
            
                                        I am forever lonesome.
                                        Let me know what touch feels like,
                                        Once again.

Why?..

Why won't anyone want to touch me...

I want to touch them...

But they don't want to touch me...


...

They don't want to touch me...
Not anymore..

Just how many times do they speak to you first?
I'm grieving the loss of my greater friendships.
Shay Sep 20
It all started back in twenty twelve.
She accepted this wasn't behaviour of her normal self.
Years passed on,
She delved in forbidden places
Searching to displace the thoughts,
On her own she couldn't face it.
Demons chasing. Won't leave her.
It comes through in her demeanor.
Peace in powder, they tried to stop her.
Someone ground her - she's wandering in a blur.
Who imagined this would occur?
She listened to the evil whisperer.
A temporary fix fell on her like a ton of bricks,
While the devil got his kicks,
he watched on as she fell deeper into a dark abyss.
Hugo Pierce Sep 17
This is a world of my own creation
I am the architect of my own isolation
Alone at the whim of my own dictation
Forever trapped in an internal altercation
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