The weight of your love raptures me
Above a height unknown to me
The clouds caress my face
Embraced by the sunlight
Cloaked in ethereal bliss
When you kiss me I can feel my heart escape the confines of my ribs
Your touch electric and warming
Your scent envelopes me like a shroud
Swathe me in your embrace
Lead me towards the edge of oblivion

If I could gather all the stars,
And place them in a bowl,
If I could capture a sunset
And frame it for your wall.
If I could scrape off sunlight's glow,
That kisses the green grass,
Blend the mixture gently,
And serve it in a glass.

I would, I would,
A thousand times or more,
To bring you closer to the beauty
Of all you're longing for.

In a short whisper.
A shy hurricane drifts.
It swirls, rain cascading down.
It sees you, longing for your embrace.
Delicate.
A storm brews inside.
Looking for a way to get out.
Do you feel it.
The gust of its heart quickens,
tenfold.
Longing to dissipate and cover you
whole.
In a short whisper.
The skies darken.
Everything comes to a hush.
Its fears no longer wrapped tight.
A shy hurricane in search of love.
Knows nothing.
But to rage

You're like fireflies in July
The air is thick
The night is dark
Your light mesmerizing me from where I stand
I'll try all night to catch up
Quietly moving through the dark
Waiting to see your glow beside me
But I'm too clumsy
And I am not quiet
And you're always five steps ahead

started like every other relationship, just friends but soon I found myself wanting and longing for me, with every gesture of eye contact I found myself falling deeper and deeper into a love lust for someone who I could totally not be with, how can this be happening I thought? Every moment apart I just felt more and more hopeless, I am mad this is insane, after all these years I had butterflies and it wasn't for the man I fell in love with, so many moons ago, but this feeling are and is wrong.


Well most of you are probably wondering how and when this all started so let rewind to the beginning...

About a year we started visiting some friends, not to far from where we resided, most weekends were spent hanging out and getting to know each other at first there was absolutely no gesture of feeling but soon after things started to change atleast for me, I found myself staring at him, dazing off at the idea of me and him... Now let me describe him, cocasion male, not very tall dark hazel green eyes with full lips (I swear it's the lips that got to me) manly hands, neat and tidy.. he was perfect. Now as our friendship grew so did our trust towards each other I became his close friend, the one he called early in the mornings and  messaged late at night it was like we were made for each other, I watch as his girlfriend at the time grew more jealous of our relations, but was that a good thing or a bad thing I kept thinking and playing all these different scenarios in my head of how things would end for us, but as i became more and more comfortable with him the more our feelings for one another grew, I knew he felt the same way, I could feel it, every inch of my body craved his attention. But at the same time I also had someone to think about, my partner the person I accepted as my person was it wrong for me to feel for another man I kept thinking.

it's july
and we're falling out of bars
incense clinging to our hair
chasing the last
of the saccharine sun
each strawberry stained kiss
introducing us to god

it's july
and we're hiding under satin sheets
moonlight dancing
upon naked flame
sticky fingers
trying to hold us together
your teeth find my skin
and i can never find the words
to tell you how you've marked me
like spoiled fruit
in the summer heat

it's july
and each amber scented day
leaves me longing
for the month we stole
your eyes met mine
and it felt like a wound mending
before slipping away
with the autumn breeze

it's july
and all i can see is you.

Your lips, a frozen fire that burns within
Your touch, a gentle warmth that never dims
I crave, oh how I crave you endlessly.

When you're not here, my heart aches, longing
for your touch, your presence. Memories of you
linger, haunting me like a bittersweet melody.

Your words, now distant echoes, still send shivers
down my spine. In my mind, you're a queen, a
goddess, above all else. My love for you is
unwavering, like a regal crown upon my head.

Its been a month, I can seem to find
The words to say, or get you outta my mind
How I wish you looked back, to give closure
Knowledge won't end suffering, lack of exposure

How it must feel, to get rid of me
How my heart yearns, for what may seem
To be the old you I created in my head
Was it all a dream? Should I go back to bed

And even now, even now, I still defend your name
Even now, even now, I still take all the blame
For my words might attack you and cause you to leave
But you made it so thats all I had under my sleeves

I regret, that words cut so deep
I'm upset that i'm losing sleep
Wish I'd forget, Like you seem to do
What'd I expect? Is this a sign from You

And even now, even now, I wish you'd feel the same
Even now, even now, I wish you would come claim
The broken pieces of my heart I can't fix
Friendships turn toxic when romance is in the mix

But I guess, it would be mature
To just let go, and to be assured
That your life is going par for the course
Maybe my existence was a part of the cause
Where you couldn't seem to move on from the lack of resource

Even now, I wish I cut out my tongue
Even now, I wish we still stayed young
I wish forgiveness was as easy as the books make it seem
You were book-nerd and explained how they made you cry a stream
Now I see that not all books have happy endings
Some don't even end, wasting the time you're spending

Even now, you're a muse I abuse
And even now, I just wish I could choose
what thoughts entered in my head
And if it would affect you if you ever read

Even now, I wish you the best

My heart, aimlessly

drifting in the foggy gloam --


is dreaming of love.