i don’t like myself
i don’t like that i just give myself up for a sliver of his attention
a sliver of affection
a second of his eyes on mine and then he’s gone again
“once he’s seen me this way he will only see me this way”
my inner voice pleads
but what my insecurity needs
my dignity cannot supply
so i lie in the bed i made
staring at you, kate
is like staring at the sun
the moment may be painful
but our memories are fun

you've got a silhouette
that i just cannot forget
your embrace is a loaded gun

it's such an inconvenience
that sleep must come between us
every night

i cannot wait
'til once again your face
is in my eye
Freddie Ruiz May 23
I don’t need magic.
I don’t need a life that’s way too fantastic.
What I need is your arms around me
at 3:47 in the morning
when the room is so dark you can’t see a thing,
when I wake up and realize I’m so lonely.
I need you to be there when no one else is.
I need you to be real when nothing else is.

One day, I’ll wake up at 3:47 in the morning,
unable to sleep
and I will look next to me,
and there you’ll be
sleeping peacefully beside me,
letting me know my world is no longer lonely.
Written on November 3, 2016
Composition number: 569
Nathalie 20h
Love grows from a well
Which overflows from desire
Longing and love
Simultaneously coupled
for each other..intensifying
Fixation and admiration
A sentiment which knows no bounds
As lovers step through the portal
And into their sacred garden…

Heart stealing glances
Fingers touching… so sweet
Pulse stopping between breaths
Unleashed, is a union so deep
Not for the faint of heart
As one stands so close
To this fire dwelling passion

Hiding no more
This tantalizing enchantment
A dance for two
All –pervading intensity
Sharing one breath
Letting go …surrendering
To the exalting beauty of pleasure
Encapsulated in golden rays of light.

~Nathalie
I hate you
I could never say
I need you
So please listen
Fuck you
I never said
I loved you

-Nakai
Women are often inspiration for beautiful things
For they are
Compared to stars, summer days and flowers even bird sings
This is par
For all these were made to entertain them
Created so alone would not be men
Not as servants but as equals
Better than the original, a rare sequel
Maybe we had it wrong
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Or shall I compare the day to thee?
In the end we find ourselves on our knees
Saying “take my hand please”
Ladies know your worth
“I’ll give you the world”
No you’re worth more than this earth
Find a soul it is forever
Here is mine, it is my pleasure
But do not take what is yours for granted
Knowing your own beauty you can become enchanted
Narcissistic
The forgotten poems of gorgeous destruction
Compared to cold, dark and other disasters the planet consisted
But without you there is dysfunction
So thank you for your contribution
It makes life beautiful when the world is blurred
When we lose sight you are our restitution
Our lives together in this institution of love
This beautiful constitution signed in blood
We can make forever our home
So no longer do we roam
For I don’t condone giving away what you own
But I would give away my throne to avoid sitting alone
With a look at how a man feels
Change your perspective
Take the chance to know him
Now that you’ve heard tHis stupid little poem
-My Words
in this town, they say,
love is just
a
heartbeat
away

yet
for many
good men
the pain of
abandonment
is the
same
heartbeat
away

in this town
the sun falls
and
the moon rises
where
for many
good men
tombstones
mark the graves
of
hope
happiness
and desire -
of which
all
died
of
a
premature
death
sugar in tea
rain in dirt
snow on salt
ice over flame

i melt into nothingness
a barely-felt breeze kissing your lips
as i sit and try not to blow away
to absorb into my surroundings

icy fingers conjure heat
running legs create energy
tangled sheets inspire love

it's the constant motion of earth around
my sun
and i can't keep up
i can't understand why it works this way
how can you not see that you revolve around me
always in my view

maybe that's why it doesn't work
i am stuck here
watching you move effortlessly through your path
and i am stuck here
seeing everyone look at your light

a thousand fireflies dance in my heart
each light a flicker of my fancy
trying to imitate your sun
but my heart is stone

and no one can see it.
A mouth full of words that ever since you have been left unspoken.
Now I’d give anything to have this silence broken.
I never meant to take you for granted and the proof is in every poem I’ve written,
but when I see your picture those old wounds reopen.

I curse the past, so goodbye!
I’m going backwards, I don’t understand why.
I look back, but all I see is wasted time.
How can one yearn for something so bad and not have it in their life?
I had one thing with you, something I treasured with my life.
Now I have sh*t and that’s how I feel like.

This bed could be warm with my arms holding you close,
but my world stopped turning long ago and yours continued its course.
Written on June 14, 2003
Composition number: 156
Manny 1d
If only she knew
That I sit alone at night
Drinking by myself
Thinking about her
Wishing she was mine

If only she knew
That I'll never be alright
Going through this hell
Till my eyes begin to blur
And I only see her in my mind

If only she knew

That the hardest part of my day
Is when I think about her lips
Sliding through his skin
As he moves in for the kiss
Think about his hand
starting to caress her cheeks
They both gasp for air
though no one speaks
And her eyes can't seem to look away from his

If only she knew

That that's the hardest part
Knowing that she's his
Knowing that her gorgeous lips
are only his to kiss
And that her beautiful eyes
Are looking right through me
Knowing that I'm nothing to her
And that I'll never be

If only she knew

That she leaves me Paralyzed
When she looks me with her eyes
It feels so cold
Yet I feel so alive
If only she would realize
That without her my heart cries
It's hard to beat, though it still tries
If only she knew
The pain of getting lost within her eyes
Another Poem from my collection.
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