There are things to remember,
In the months of September.
Of what was then,
Now gone away.
Of childish things,
With what childhood brings.
Along our merrily stay,
But when I had grown.
And you had come home,
Something longing had shown in me.
It was you that I had missed,
So wanting to kiss,
Knowing you were home with me.

it's only nine,
where the night barely shows its deep secrets
yet i already am sharing mine with it.
in between the pandemonium
and the faint sounds of television
in the dim light of living room,
i tell the night of how i crave for your skin.
how every little touch of yours would wake the butterflies inside my stomach,
how soft your milky face would feel like,
and how i want to connect the constellation of moles and imperfections in your perfect face.

it's only nine,
the time i want to breathe you in as i hold your tiny hands,
that i'm convinced would feel warm in the midst of howling wind.
i want to hold you and tell you my restlessness of not having you by my side.
it's the first time i want to see your face instead of the gleaming stars above,
because your eyes hold more than millions stars and constellations in the sky.
but don't tell the night, for it would be jealous of you.

MU 9h

When I
Remembered
Your name

When I
Imagined
Your smile

Heart beat...
                   ...Heart beat

When I
Received
A message

Containing
Some of
Your thoughts

                        Bright eyes...    
Bright eyes...

When I saw
Your face
Blushing

From
Something
That I did
Say

                     Hot ears...
                     Hot ears...

When I listened
To your voice

Whispering
Something
So cute

Goose bumps...goose bumps...

When I
Noticed that
Your eyes

Started to
Tear from
My talk

Melt
       Down
                  ....
                  Melt
                           Down...

But since all
Is over
Now

Everything
Feels
So mundane

                      
Silence.

                    Just.

Silence.

Interactions feel so stimulating and emotions so intense when we are in love. The rush disappears after its over, and only silence and a feeling of tiredness remains...

my head in your lap
my thumb on your cheek
and you look down at me
and say, What?
Nothing, I say
and glance away,
redrawing your face in my mind--
the curve of your nose and cheek,
the steadiness of your eyes,
how your hair just grazes your forehead--
wondering what you're thinking.
I ask you what you're thinking.
And you answer, It's like you expect me to say something.
No, I say. I'm just looking at you.
And I remember
head on the pillow,
thumb on the keys
when I miss you.

National Poetry Month Day 18

Alone again, I close my eyes
Dream I am flying away
To some far off place
Maybe up in Canada
In the spring time
You said it was beautiful
This time of year
Maybe we could plant a garden
Of primrose and lilac poems
If the snow has thawed, by then
And you have forgiven me
For being so cold, by then
then maybe, we could be

©LadyofRavenhill 4/24/17

When I think of you too much,
my eyes lull
my ears drop off
my mouth becomes a field
of cotton,
never ripened enough
to pick from.
Everyday tasks grow fercious
with their complexities,
even the necessaries
I've come to
ache for
such as drinking, 
eating and sleeping
are shot up 
a giant's leg of a stalk,
and you know 
I can't climb that high up, my love.
So I sit, in a daze 
and stare 
at the world growing grey,
all because 
your shadow
has not crossed over it yet,
your lips 
have not spoken enough
for me to draw out
their
        every 
                  ridge,
your words have yet
to tangle themselves tightly
around my tongue,
so that I find 
it 
harder
to breathe
(atthebackofmythroat)
when you are not here,
but have no air left in me
when you are.

‪God, I just want to kiss someone!‬
I want to feel their lies on my neck
as I shout the name of a previous lover
to mask the pain of loss I've experienced.
Because after 1 AM, I lose my senses—
after 2 AM, I feel numb.
And at 3 AM, I lose myself
in the rhythm of my previous lover's voice
saying my name over and over again.
I wish it were his plump lips on mine,
but instead I suppose this disastrous affair
shall last me until I find my lover's voice again.

originally written 1/17/17

my throat is closing
   and my knees fall weak.
i want to respond
   but i cannot speak.
but with my wonders,
   i shall not make a peep.
and with my visions of you,
   i shall drift off to sleep.
i want you by my side
   but that is a promise you cannot keep.
and with my visions of you,
   i shall drift off to sleep.

originally written 12/19/16

All I want to do is love.
I just want to understand what it feels like
to be wrapped in your lover's arm,
watching a movie
but being too preoccupied
by each other's eyes to see
what possibly was going on.
I want to know how it is to be
so enamored by someone that it
drives me insane everyday.
I want to understand the bitter taste
that comes to the mouth
every time you argue with someone
who is your entire life.
I want to know what
those jealous thoughts are all about.
How it is to want only one person,
and just that one person alone.
I can't even begin to imagine
the sensation of waking up
next to your significant other
and looking about at their sleeping state.
Studying their slight eye flutters,
their chest moving up and down
with every breath.
Is it so bad to want to love
someone more than you have ever
loved anyone on this forsaken earth?

originally written 8/3/16

In a crowd of millions,
I could pick your face out easily
and smile so brightly
because you made me so happy.

But in a crowd of millions,
you avoid my gaze
and look for the pretty girl
because she makes you happier.

In a crowd of millions,
I stand alone,
waiting for your return.

But I know I am inferior to her,
and I know I could never live up to
your great expectations.

Yet in a crowd of millions,
I break down
and millions crowd around me.

They could show me all the love
that this dreadful world has to offer,
but if the love isn't from you,
I don't want it.

originally written 6/21/16
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