The house is empty. As am i. I can feel the emptiness inside me.
I love being alone. But not like this.
The feeling of betrayal chips at me
threatening to reveal my true character.
What will they think of me then.
Through this poem, I do solemnly confess
My morbid obsession with Death, my Knight
Meeting you would be the ultimate test
Your harrowing grasp is my daily plight
You did take my mother that fateful day
To that realm of gold beyond this Earth's veil
Mem'ries, are all I have, of what she'd say
They'll keep me going 'til when "we'll" set sail
I long for you with a yearning that's deep
Simply waiting for you to come my way
To take my weary soul for Hædes' keep
How I pray Fate may hasten to that day
I'll be on my watch for you 'til we meet
Death, this verse has been penned for you, my Sweet
:)
i'm coming Home
& i know it's wrong,
but all i can think,
"will i run into you?"
our Love is unrequited,
& always will be.
you can't accept my God,
& i can't accept your gender,
or lack of one? i don't know.
i'm coming Home
& i will drive
through the hollers & the hills
of E.Ky, if only for the hope
of seeing you, even briefly.
i still recall the many nights
sharing music notes & secret dreams,
yearning to feel each other, to share
the same breath & the same mattress.
i'm coming Home
& i know i won't contact you,
but my only wish is that you
would read this & come find me.
please find me.
Said a man once from a motored caravan,
You are a fool.
Said I,
Perhaps. But in this, life is to me but one side of the coin; the other is death, and both are formed of experience, the one of this world, the other of the next. I am here without all that is necessary for a sure survival not by choice; but finding myself here I will not go back into those lands behind me, where men and women live in desperation, in servitude, in blindness. Not until I have passed through will I meet them again, and then only of necessity. And if I fail in my crossing, what of it? My bones will bleach here in the naked sun and the naked earth; the wind will scour them, and the sands will cover them, until at last they become one with the soil of the desert. My soul will be the same as it ever was, universal, eternal, one and separate from all things that are, existence. And my mind will be let go, in the doing of something great, and in the realization of it's place in the oneness of existence. That is enough. That is all.
daydreaming
even here there is
perhaps a cutting edge
The dappled spots of Sun disappear when I step into them
Still there but overshadowed by my own
Feelings growing on me,
like moss smothering the trees
Been here too long now.
Feet too heavy to drag forwards
I can just stay here,
right?
Exist on the boundaries until my heart beats silent
Until the yearning over runs
And I die in the temporary mute of the world
A woken state of dreaming
Water gushes through and
In the hush and rush of the current
Carries my reality by
And bye
I've gone
Just pale blue smoke left behind
To disperse in the expanding warm air
This place breathes me into its lungs
Holds me there
Exhales
And I am done
Pooled no more in one spot
As this clear living lake
Rather I'm everywhere
And no where
All in one time
Expanded outwards past normal consequence
Outgrown beyond the edges of my own fantasy
Its back.
I must go?
Cold, pimpled skin
As I descend into the dark
Bound for a home that only exists in brick,
Solid life
With only a murmur of a pulse found
When at night I can dream again
Life for me being
Just dappled spots of Sun
Still there but overshadowed by my own
The yearning in the hearts of men,
A flame that shall never be extinguished,
A flame that burns for dreams,
And everything under the great sun,
This inferno of dreams can never be destroyed,
If men and kings fall to dust,
The inferno of dreams will burn on,
Showing most men,
The things they may never have.
Filled with anticipation I entered that place,
Crowd was buzzing, the light was dimmed..
Trembling feet didn't help either,
As I looked for here & there..
Like evening sun peeking through clouds,
There she was sitting in a corner..
In disbelief I had to double check
My fairy, My dream
Empress of my heart,
She was really there..
I just kept looking at her
As if time froze,
Relishing her innocent antics, her every expression
I just kept on looking...
Many emotions I had to express,
Many stories I wanted to share..
But I was lost for words,
Well, I was just lost in her..
Those pink glowing cheeks,
Topped with that smile..
That spark in her eyes,
So expressive hiding behind her specs..
Flowing hair of her,
God I envy that wind passing through those!!
How could I take my eyes away??
I can spend a lifetime like this,
I will spend my life like that..
A day that took years to come,
Hurdling all obstacles,
An hour worth the craving..
An evening sweeter than the sweetest dream,
A evening I want to relive all my life... <3
I dance trembling hands across my keyboard
Typing the same meaningless chorus
But every time the backspace button
Plays the bass and
When I read it back
I can never seem to play it quite right
I type the words along to the beat of my metronome heart
Hoping one day my song will be good enough for you to hear
It sounds a lot like your moans
And mine flowing together in perfect harmony
But one note is always off
And it’s the sound of you leaving
Before we even make it to the bridge
I should have known that I was never your favorite genre
I miss finding pieces of us on the floor
I miss our soft words tugging at each others zippers
I miss our sharp insults ripping at each others buttons
I miss the feeling of myself spilling out
Of my walls crumbling to the floor
I miss every piece of me being exposed
Open to your eyes
I miss playing with everything I found inside of you
I miss our carelessness causing everything to lay scattered on the ground
I miss swapping ideas and thoughts
I miss the library we built together
We didn't have time to clean up
To split evenly what was laying on the ground around us
You took what you could and you ran
With my voice urging you to go
Now I lay here in our mountains of things
I stroke the pieces you left behind
And I start rebuilding my walls
I start putting the pieces that I have back together inside of me
I know that I'm missing some
And I know that when you go through the same process you'll find them and think of me
As I sort through myself
I find things that I don't want anymore
I discard things from both you and I
And rebuild a different way
The walls I'm building now are thinner
Because I know the feeling of them spilling down is a good one
The library inside of me now has more meaning, and less gaps
I'm still in the process of cleaning
I think I will always miss finding pieces of us on the floor
But I'm preparing myself to be ready to experience it again.
I'm standing by your grave
and your presence is what I crave
It's you that i wish i could have saved
but right now, all i am is a slave
to all those humans that make me misbehave
Man i wish you here here
just smiling from ear to ear
with a cup full of beer
I swear your presence is what I adhere
I hate the man that raped you
He's the one that dated you
You trusted him,
but I swear I didn't
I know you've got your reasons
but he gave you unworthy treason
You don't deserve that
I wish I could change that...
We would have been in the park right now
just making jokes and being all loud
or even at the club, dancing in the crowd
just enjoying the beat and sound
Man i miss those days
Just us in our old ways
not caring about what anybody says
and hating work but hoping that it pays
I miss you and your blue eyes
the ones that never told lies
They were so blue like the skies
with tears of peaceful cries
I was hoping that we'd never share goodbyes though
i just miss us
and the stupid stuff
And all those blunts we used to puff
and how we never felt bored
when we were together
I swear I hate that man
He makes my heart sour
It's him that i want to devour
Right now,
we could've been playing in the sand
or just listening to out favourite band
Maybe even planting flowers on this land
I swear I wanna take my hand
and just slap him in the face
It's you that I yearn for
I miss you to the core
I'm even just heart sore
And therefore,
I've come to your grave stone
because I couldn't call you on the phone
I just miss you,
and all that I'm saying is true