==
I'm not anywhere
Build an emptiness
Where?
Not in somewhere else
When really i think
I'm not anywhere
==
@Musfiq us shaleheen

the game called internet,
love is the only interface thats leads you
into my web store which is unconditional to you.

My old-time heartache
lives in
long-ago train stations
lives in
the rafters; fluttering
like an injured dove.

Isn't it kinder to just break
its neck.

I imagine, quietly,
if this were it.
If, while I waited on this train platform,
this ever-romanticized,
transient in-between,
someone pushed me into the tracks.
It would be an accident, of course.
What was I waiting for, anyway?
The news would hear it first,
and they'd be the first to forget me.
Clamboring over my unremarkable story
to the next and the next and the next.
I hope I'd make a favourable statistic.
Then what family I have would hear,
once they determined who I was,
and they'd worry I wasn't pushed.
They'd have so many questions
I'd be unable to answer,
much like when I visit.
Then would come a lover,
as sad as those who loved me,
and they would keep my photo
until they grew tired of looking.
For their own sake,
I'd hope they got tired quickly.
Friends would remember me
and tell me kind words I wouldn't hear,
and I'd be of no help to them anymore.
Every once in a while,
I'd come up in a conversation,
and I'd hope they'd grin at a memory,
but it would be more likely they'd frown.
There it'd be,
my young life detailed
in saddened conversation and tears,
until I'd be left another piece of the past.
The statistic of an unremarkable life.

Again and again
I do this to myself
I let the wrong ones in
I fall for the ones who don't feel anything for me
I'm too nice
Too sweet
Such an easy target for emotional manipulation
I think I have finally learned
To keep to myself
And not let anyone in anymore
Because I'm such a fool
To think I can change the mind
Of an emotionally detached individual
At least I try to enjoy the ride
While I'm being strung along.