I find myself drawn to places where we have been together, where I will eat and sit contentedly in the warmth of a place.
Enjoying the warm memories of us together.
I guess that's what we do when we miss people. When alone, we find a place that is familiar.
I miss him.
But in a good way.
I miss the fun we had together.
I miss the jokes we made, the sound of our laughter.
I miss seeing his clear blue eyes under those heavy lashes, peering into mine.
Just being happy to do so.
I imagine, quietly,
if this were it.
If, while I waited on this train platform,
someone pushed me into the tracks.
It would be an accident, of course.
What was I waiting for, anyway?
The news would hear it first,
and they'd be the first to forget me.
Clamboring over my unremarkable story
to the next and the next and the next.
I hope I'd make a favourable statistic.
Then what family I have would hear,
once they determined who I was,
and they'd worry I wasn't pushed.
They'd have so many questions
I'd be unable to answer,
much like when I visit.
Then would come a lover,
as sad as those who loved me,
and they would keep my photo
until they grew tired of looking.
For their own sake,
I'd hope they got tired quickly.
Friends would remember me
and tell me kind words I wouldn't hear,
and I'd be of no help to them anymore.
Every once in a while,
I'd come up in a conversation,
and I'd hope they'd grin at a memory,
but it would be more likely they'd frown.
There it'd be,
my young life detailed
in saddened conversation and tears,
until I'd be left another piece of the past.
The statistic of an unremarkable life.
I want to sit cross legged on your rib cage
And write poetry
whilst I listen to your heart beat
I want to walk through your soul's halls
- A museum of things you keep dear -
And hope to find my heart pinned on one of the walls.
I want to lie on my back
On the sands of your mind
Where I have a clear view of your sunset
And hope to see your ghost
right next to mine.
Again and again
I do this to myself
I let the wrong ones in
I fall for the ones who don't feel anything for me
I'm too nice
Such an easy target for emotional manipulation
I think I have finally learned
To keep to myself
And not let anyone in anymore
Because I'm such a fool
To think I can change the mind
Of an emotionally detached individual
At least I try to enjoy the ride
While I'm being strung along.
A blackened path
A darkened soul
Reasons I fight
Lost from my sight
What used to be
What could have been
When my light dims
The shadows come to take me
When my light dims
Will you be there to save me?
Or will I fade away?
Forever in the gray
Blessed by this deception
In need of resurrection
A bird with broken wings
This bird no longer sings
Time becoming thin
With each passing day
My heart is more constricted
Please come and cut the chain
Save me from this sorrow
I will fly again