I used to dream that I would one day soar the infinite sky
That I would have white beautiful stunning wings
And I would fly everywhere and see everything
Oh how I imagined the joy I'd feel
Landing has always been out of the question
Never even planned for it.
Do not settle
I've always told myself
Go out and seek for more
I've always reminded myself
Flying above and below clouds
Discovering worlds never shown to men
Oh how dreamy it sounds
However, you showed me what a wonderful dream land could be
How the world looks beautiful too without being high up above ground
How the ground is everything more than I could ever hope for
How being here and feeling, touching could mean much more than watching, surveying
I could not believe I fell in love with land
remembering what I reminded myself
So I got so mad at myself
That I jumped into the deep blue dark ocean
Wanting to drown myself in blue
I see now as I slowly emerged from the waters
Where you waited in patience
That I wasn't caged like I always feared
As I chose to land
I chose to see what was in front of me
I did not give up my wings
Nor did I stopped being a dreamer
I did not loose myself
I just picked up a part of myself
that I never knew I lost
just me in my own world
creating perfectly impossible scenarios
it’s not loneliness
it’s getting lost in my own mind
and getting tangled in the beautiful mess that makes up who i am
my brain transforms into a galaxy of swirling blue and purple with the brightest moments shining like stars
i remove myself from reality and let my spirit drift off into the ideal universe i have created
that wonderful boy stares into my face so intensely i feel like it’s melting
our hands are intertwined
he draws me closer until there is no space between the two of us and we are breathing the same air
our chests rise and fall in unison
it’s as if our bodies are one like a cell and we never want to split
and our love is like the mitochondria because it’s power keeps us living and living on and on and…
i remove myself from the deepest parts of my mind and become familiar with my normal surroundings
reality doesn’t suck, but this perfect world i have created inside my mind makes me feel free from the polluted minds of people in this society
so i isolate
isolate myself from fake friends who hide behind a mask of smiles and empty conversations and only remove it when my back is turned so they can see where to shove the knife
isolate myself from the boy who i’m madly in love with, but had broken me because “it wasn’t me it was him” and now i’m just another passing face in the hallway
isolate myself from the men who now see me as fresh meat and my personality and interests and who i am are just the appetizer and all they want is to peel off the wrapper and devour the main course just to throw away the leftovers
sometimes i just need to escape
I’m not lonely I’m a dreamer
and to dream you need
Stretch your hand outward
And capture the rays of the sun
The shadows will chase
And do their best to haunt you
Turn dreams to nightmares
Dream of the dreamer
Covet yourself from Night's mare
Let your hope shine bright
There will be a point
In my life
In ours lives
Where we go on road trips
And sing at the top of our lungs
to our favourite songs.
Where we take midnight swims and have 3.AM conversations.
Where we will have cool cameras and record cool things
Where we camp out on the beach and watch the stars until it fades into a sunrise
There will be the time
Where we travel the world,
And visit abandoned places.
Where we stay in cheap motels,
even though we'll be rich.
We'll get to go to see our
favorite bands live in concert
And maybe even meet them too.
We will live out off our suitcases
And run in to some complicated situations
We will be spontaneous
We'll write a book
Start a YouTube channel
And make new cool friends along the way
There will be a time
Where we use instagram not to brag
But purely to spread the beauty
Of the moments we capture.
And hopefully inspire people ,
But mostly kids
To do what they love,
But till then
I'll just sit here
On my bed
And write notes and poems,
Take pictures with my phone camera
And dream way too big
Because this is where it all starts
It all starts
With a few kids
With beautiful minds
And big dream.
If you were to look at me once more
just as you did so long before,
would you fall in love with me again?
I keep this sad faith in my heart
that you and I will never fully part,
but I know I am a fool for my thoughts.
But this foolish girl is quite the dreamer,
an idealist with hope that you can redeem her,
and I will continue my imaginative thinking.
I would not mind being a fool for you
if you were to fuel my irresponsible devotion to you.
I started missing you early on.
I started missing you while I was still with you.
I missed you while I was sitting across from you
while your grin still lit up my heart.
I missed you while your mouth was on me
with your tongue sending me into a spiral.
I started missing you when I realized we wouldn't last.
I started letting you go before I left you.
I tried to pretend that that wasn't the case,
I tried to stay oblivious.
I should have left you the first time.
I could have left you the first time,
if I had just let myself face it.
If I had faced the fact that you would only warm my bed for a small portion of my life.
But I stayed long enough for you to latch on
and begin building a home inside of my heart.
It wasn't fair to either of us;
I should have let you go the moment I started missing you,
but I'm a hopeful dreamer.
My kindness in the end hurt us more than it could have.
But I still don't know what that means.
Does that mean I should give up the second I'm unsure?
That jaded lifestyle will leave me lonely.
But I don't want to stay long enough to let it fester,
for my heart to commit another naive suicide.
Your presence may seem a cruel one for life to inflict on me,
but life isn't supposed to be easy.
You ignited a fire in me;
A hungry desire to do better;
One that was seemingly waiting to be lit.
I've learned so much.
You've helped me put things together,
and to find some pieces.
I curse life for breaking my heart like that
But I beg it to do whatever it needs to do
If I need to break
Hundreds of times
To become who it is I want to be
Then so be it
Life should not be bland
I should experience everything there is to
I feel like it's debatable on whether I can survive this
Like if I have to face it again I won't be able to
But I can
And I will
I will grow and become stronger
Though it will cripple me still
Sooner or later I'll begin to know
What to give and what to leave to fate
Though you seem big right now
In comparison to the picture life will paint for me
You are but a small part
To a large masterpiece
My mother was a dreamer
My father was a sinner
And now I am a daughter
With nowhere to call home
I laid out all the pictures
Constructing my memory
I was a happy little girl
Forgetting all my eyes had seen
I hid it deep inside
Every dark thing
Until one day once you'd died
I remembered everything
And now it consumes my thought
I try so hard to kill it
Abused and broken on the floor
There's a knife - a leg split
I'm far too vain to cut my arms
So I cut my legs
Why do I do this - it hurts
"Bittersweet", I said
Walking in the dark among the streets I knew
I remember you, the sky was black
And I was pale with fright of you
You smothered me, too much for me to bear
I couldn't scream I couldn't breathe
And you really didn't care
Punching me in my stomach
I felt a knot in my throat
I tried to form a fist, I couldn't
Felt my spirit start to float
Sleep paralysis is how my memories came back
It started with nightmares of me walking
And ending with me dying
With the sailboat of dreams?
I know she's out there in the great blue sea,
But she's lost her way, it seems.
The trouble with sailing
When no one says you can,
Is that when you set off,
You lose your hat and some of your confidence
When the first great blue wind blows.
If you're made to doubt, told to doubt
You'll still sail, but you'll sail without
The parts of you that hadn't a doubt -
So when your anchor is fused to uncertainty,
You think you're destined to sink.
To sail, you need a great blue sheet,
And spit and grit and piece of meat
To give to the great blue shark you meet -
But you can do without those, if you're clever.
What's essential for sailing
(And Diana knew this quite well, I can tell),
Is the awareness and understanding
That your boat is built with dreams in mind.
What use is a sailboat of reverie
If you haven't any imagination?
The fact of the matter, this is not.
You forgot: she's lost at sea.
The great blue doubt overcame even me,
And I stopped believing in her sailboat,
So it stopped sailing,
For she was the last great blue believer.
She fused that to her identity,
She was wrapped in her sails
But things got tough
Blue seas got rough
So it wasn't enough
And the blue called her bluff.
She escaped from land,
But didn't understand
That the waves of the deep
Wouldn't hold her hand
So her great blue view
Sank smaller and smaller.
What on earth do you do
When the next wave is taller than you?
I am a dreamer and a wonderer
I wonder about the future, always coming but never reaching
I hear nothing as I sit silently waiting
The future growing nearer and nearer
I see my dreams in my hands, but always escaping
I want to know what I am to be, and to do
For I am a dreamer and a wonderer
I pretend to know, to feel, to see it
I feel lost, don’t know who I am, like a nameless ship
I touch the world, people, myself yet
I worry, will I be remembered, be loved
I cry for the future, wondering what’s to come
For I am a dreamer and a wonderer
I try to rush, to grow up faster than time permits
I understand the wait,
Time is masterless
I say only time will tell, still
I dream of the future grasping for it
for I am a dreamer and a wonderer