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sofolo 1d
I stood over the sink
Scrubbing our negroni glasses
Wishing the ginger-scented soap
Would wash away the cancer
Because the chemo didn’t work

I was wearing eyeliner
When I first met you
We’d laugh about that later
Over a bottle of wine
And patatas bravas

We always had our weekends
Movie dates and inside jokes
We would guffaw at the
Fuckery of it all
My god your laugh
How it filled a room

I remember when you said
“I love you, Christopher…
because you just GET ME”
You expressed appreciation
For how I carved out time
For our friendship

I reminded you,
“I don’t carve out time for you,
I shove everything away while
screaming ‘I NEED MY HEIDI TIME!’”

*******.
I need my Heidi time

For years you were
The most consistent thing in my life
Always there for one another
We were each other’s touchstones
I realize this now more than ever
During my weekends spent alone

Wine tastes different now
Something’s missing
Going to the movies feels strange
It’s like the hero has
Left the frame

Remember when I smoked cigarettes?
You’d *** a drag as we crept
Through early evening traffic
On our way to get gelato
Or if we were feeling sassy
Maybe an affogato

I switched to vaping
When you went into hospice
Then back to menthols
When your spirit left this world

I’m addicted to our memories
More than the nicotine
They bang around my head
Like a song or a scent
Nostalgic  
And
Lingering

You tattooed
“CEDENDO VINCES”
On your wrists
“By yielding, you will win”
My finger traced those words
While I held your hand

Last breaths

But what are deaths?

Transitions
Energy
Shifting
A spark
Returning

/ / /

Those letters live
On my wrists now
A reminder of her
The sister I never had
And sometimes
I still hear her laugh
One of my dearest friends (read: soulfriend) left this earth three years ago today. This piece is in her memory. I love you, Heidi, my star.
NaNi Jul 7
Who the **** do you think you are?
walking into my life without my permission
opening my heart without warning me
sliding between my legs without preparing me
I must have "Your wife" written on my forehead
the way you stole my heart
changed my direction
flipped me in all different types of positions
crazy how you knew just what i needed
so where the **** we headed?

-Nani
Eera Jun 13
Remember the times you caught me crying?
used to make up excuses when you won't stop prying.
I had no courage to tell you;
how many times I've doubted you.
Cause you meant more to me;
than any of my insecurities.
I was miserable, wasn't I?
used to vent out my feelings, didn't lie.
I loved him beyond limits, you knew;
My girls were fully aware too.
Maybe our bond wasn't strong,
or else I could've forgiven you.
Maybe the world didn't know,
how much I really tried to.
You had your reasons,
he was sad and depressed,
and you chose to go address;
leaving me in distress.
You called me your best friend,
then why did you hide it?
I was right there, a meter away from your bed.
You called me your best friend,
then how could you **** him?
in the same places, you knew I loved him.
You called me your best friend,
then how could you not know?
how deep a scar, those actions will carve.
Our bond was like a holy thread,
anything it could sustain,
broken once and tying a knot,
won't make it pure again.
Sister or sinister,
I am not sure anymore.
Friend or fiend,
perhaps you were both.
I wish I could lend a hand,
but it's harder for me to stand.
Roots that run so deep;
I fall to my knees.
You've got many best friends,
so what if you lose one friend?
You made a choice and chose your path,
no good will come from seeking the past.
Look ahead, with no regret;
for I consider you, my kindest crook.
she wanted to be friends again
“please leave a voicemail, beep”

Hey, uh, I have missed you.
Not like Romeo did Juliet
Or like Noah did Allie,
More like Han missed Chewie.
The point is, I wish things were normal.
I want our long talks about nothing,
Even the occasional silent ones.
We seem to have been playing phone tag lately,
Which is okay but I am ready to talk,
Ready to hear about your horrible drinking habits and your endless girl problems.
How does two years feel like a life time?
I guess friendships are like that sometimes.
Life goes on but it goes slower without your
best friend making you laugh,
Or calming you down when you need it the most.
I heard you are coming back into town,
I hope to see you.
Sorry to drag on,
Call me back.

-a voice message i wish i made
He's gone but he's everywhere.
In the passenger seat, in my bedroom walls, in the sheet music strewn over the floor and in the songs he wrote; he's in my favorite books and in the ****** films under the DVD player; He's in our whispered secrets, that from now on will be only mine to own. He's in my sunny days and stormy nights, in 3 am phone calls and throaty laughs. He's in pointless conversations you can't seem to ignore and in the silence that fills my house every time I come home. He's in my dreams and in the way I used to smile.
But most of all he's in my heart, and I can't say goodbye.
ShininGale Jan 7
𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘺.
𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘣.
𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺,
𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺.

𝘕𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘴, 𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘺.
𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺.
𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥...

𝘛𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘐 𝘨𝘰 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥.
𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺.
𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦.
𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺...

𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘢 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦.
𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦.
𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵'𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘺, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦. 𝘕𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘴.

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙝𝙚𝙥𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙙 𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙪𝙨.
0100702022005050PM
Tonight, I saw another blessing. How great is He to give me a friend this good and able to change, a living proof of His greatness. We are having a banter and conversation in one of our Group Chats and it amazes me how He truly works on us. Thank God! I am not the only one that is working on me. To my friends. To the people I cherish and know. To all.
Raven Mc Chim Dec 2021
Missing someone is always hard to imagine
The doubts in my mind always keep eating me
Does she not like me, does she not love me, am I not a good bestie
I wish I was with you when you went through your hard times
I wish I was with you all the times you shred tears
Holding you in my embrace and saying 'everything's okay '
Even though I'm physically not with you
I'm always there in your heart
So when you miss me
Fell your heartbeat
And think of the memorable moments we spent talking, playing and making fun
But remember I love you always and forever...
Don't worry I will never leave you, even for a man
best friend love is a completely different type of love that can't be expressed in words.
I'm sitting here
on the darkest night
when a poem comes
and says, "stay there",
and silence will be your friend.
Let's pretend
to know each other
even though
we never remember
faces like the people
we once loved.
I'll say this
and everything you hate
shut up.
You are victorious
over all solitude.
Indonesia, 17th December 2021
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
.
;
when,
all fine people come around you,
its proofing,
that you are the fine one.
when,
all good people stay behind you,
its proofing,
that you are the best one.
-
Marisa Habibie
Just be the best version of yourself.
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