A thread shoves against
the confines of my chest,
for the dear people
I so long to trust.
It breeds a
R O A R I N G
and a rising
that I can't shake.
I beg God
for an opportunity
that holds my heart
a heart burning
for the deep-running
whose absence has been
a gaping hole
for too long.
I thought I could survive
without this b-o-n-d,
but it turns out
my deepest emotions
into the hole
where trust used to be
isn't anywhere near the same
as whispering them to another
in complete confidence.
She was the definition of my name
She was the flowers that bloomed from the wounds that she healed
She was and always will be the ink that flowed from my pen when i wrote about her laughter that made me feel warm inside.
She saw right through me
She saw the mistakes i made
the mistakes that i used to tuck into bed with me
and she bought me a brand new bed
a brand new start
I could then say that i knew exactly what love looked like
love called me at midnight to make sure she was the first person to tell me happy birthday
love knew my favorite flavor ice cream
love knew what to say when i was crying
love knew how to make me smile again
love was there for all the fuckboys and drama
love knew me for me
love,loved me and i loved her.
How can I be happy when the world keeps going?
Don't you guys know that he's dead?
My beautiful, loving, goofy friend
Hunter please come back!
How could he be gone?
How could I be happy when I can't see his face anymore?
I can't ever see his blond hair bouncing around as he walks again.
There's nothing left of my amazing Hunter.
Why aren't they stopping to acknowledge his death?
Don't they know?
I'm so confused.
How can they not have known him?
How could they not have heard of the fiery death he suffered?
How could anyone not have known the amazing, kind, nerdy, dork that was my friend?
Please, take a moment for me.
Take a moment.
Google "Cranberry Road Wisconsin Car Accident Hunter Morby."
He was my friend. I've known him since I was a kid.
Please, just take a moment to acknowledge him.
you might be thinking that i don't recognize it,
you might be thinking that i don't know how it felt,
you might be thinking that i am the 'she don't care about me, she's just curious' kind of people,
but you're totally wrong,
i do recognize,
i know what you've been through, I've been there too!
i know how it felt darling,
and no, i'm not that kind of people,
i do care, i really do.
I know you can hear me
from the heavens where you choose to reside
For in memory of your pale skin
that cosmic energy
you could not hide
you're the only girl I craved to lay beside
a smile so radiant
but always pain behind the eye
such a beautiful shell
that started to crack
when few allowed you to confide
I am sorry for you, that life was a disappointing ride
I will never be mad
that you're at peace
no longer rolling down this landslide
you are now the wind
in fields so wide
in every salty tide
along every roadside
you did not die.
Dear Ex-Best Friend,
Remember all the times we spent together,
everyday started with meeting before classes started because that was the only
time we could talk until lunch,
remember all the times we laughed so hard we cried?
Do you remember all the times we had to hold one another in times of the need
because we thought all we had was each other?
Yeah.. Me too.
We spent all the time in the world texting and calling each other.
Things changed a little since I got a boyfriend,
but I never replaced you.
You always had a special place in my heart, and I think you always knew that.
We drifted apart, like two boats at sea.
You switched back to the school you came from,
and it felt like my life had just sunk.
Suddenly I was all alone in the hallways,
Coming in to school was like hell,
Seeing the spot we used to stand in,
Occupied by another set of best friends,
Or maybe two high school sweethearts- Making out like there's no one around.
It was so lonely without you.
You seemed happier where you were though, and at that time, that was all that mattered to me.
I walked the hallways with a sad, sorrowful look.
Teachers frequently asked if I was sick, or if I needed to lay down.
Suddenly I was that one kid that everyone wanted to pick and beat on. (Again.)
I was incredibly lonely at school, I couldn't even sit with anyone at lunch because I was so hated by so many people for reasons I didn't even know.
Come upon my junior year I got a month and a half into the school year before
I switched to the school that you went to.
I was reunited with my best friend,
Life seemed so good.
I was with my boyfriend, and my bestfriend.
It felt like nothing could stop me from gaining happiness.
You began going through boyfriends,
They would come,
and they would go.
I was put second to all of them.
There were days I was so depressed I didn't function correctly,
and all we would talk about is what you and your boyfriend did the previous night.
I was so happy that you were happy,
but I think I forgot the definition of "Happiness."
Everyday was full of being ignored and having guys' push past me so they could hug you while I sat in the sideline just waiting there, tears filling in my eyes because I realized that I wasn't significant to my best friend any more.
I couldn't help but wonder what I did wrong.
I got tired of feeling this way,
I grew up, and realized that highschool isn't meant for gaining the love and affection of people.
I proceeded to end the friendship because it wasn't making me happy anymore.
I understand that a true friend stays there through everything but in no way, shape, or form did I deserve to be kicked to the curb like a diseased puppy.
It hurt, It hurt like a bitch.
But ultimately , I'm gonna be okay in the end.
And I hope she ends up okay, too.
But, just be okay without me.
The memories badger me
zipping in and out of
with your laughter,
in your teary murmur.
For a moment,
I can see
compliments and promises
we uttered to each other
at 12 AM
in the dim light of your room.
And I want it back.
and my stomach
like a towel
being wrung out,
of your absence.
is gone now.
She drowned in
of her own misery.
She was shot
by her own
and her own
Life handed her lemons,
forcing her to
before God made them
I'm faced with
more jaded version
of the girl I knew-
and so loved.
But the memories…
I skip a heartbeat, and still I survive,
Be hit by a car and still be alive.
The clouds could drop right out of the sky,
The oceans could disappear, and all turn dry.
Life wouldn’t be the same without you,
You're there when I need you to help me through.
Through the good times and through the bad,
Be them happy, or be them sad.
I don't have to be with you, to know that you're there,
I don't have to see you, to know that you care.
We could be apart for years upon end,
and still remain the best of friends.
Life goes on, and people change,
Though our friendship still remains the same.
What a life and how things come to be.
Just thought you should know,
How much you meant to me.
A dying flower with falling petals
A beauty in something so sad
A day for only you, only you
A kiss from me to you on the cheek
A flower more beautiful more kind
My precious friend, flower , and star
My words are lost for the first time.
Words cannot be able to describe
One as precious as you, my friend
The girl of beautiful song, kind siren
Of creativity and melody, the star
Flower of Spring , my hope for rebirth
My Star Constellation, ever present
A day for only you, only you
My precious Flower of Spring
My hope my smile my laughter
My Star Constellation , I trust thee
I love thee with all my heart
On your day, on every day
My one and only Flower of Spring