I find it strange that when I look into your eyes I'm not met with an endless starry sky
The world around me doesn't freeze or turn monochrome around everyone but you
I don't see an endless sea or visions of a setting sun no matter my determination
So how do I know it is love if it isn't as the words i've heard all my life describe?

Yet my heart still drops when you walk into the same room even when your focus is a place far off
People say it's like a flutter but this is far too heavy to use such a light word to describe such a feeling
It's painful but I know it isn't something ominous or bad because it feels right
How do I know it is love if none of my words describe it right as they should?

I get it everytime our eyes meet or you tilt your head and smile with your head in the clouds
I get it when you laugh to yourself or say something hardly above a whisper
When you focus so hard you screw up and let out that silly sigh of aggravation and I feel such deep affection
Yet is it alright for me to say what I feel is love when I can't even tell myself what love is?

I don't think your eyes need starry skies or my stomach needs a million butterflies
Your smile doesn't need to illuminate the room and my thoughts for you don't need an anchor
Your love shouldn't have an expectation and my words don't need to have a proper diction

Perhaps I'll see it in your heart or feel it in your touch one day if you feel the same
Regardless what the world has sold me with their modern day poetry
I promise you that no matter how hopeless I become I will find out for myself
What it means to love you wholly even if I have to find out from loving at a distance

Two bold butterflies flutter by
Like lovers, reaching up to kiss the sky

Down swoops a radiant raven
Beak open and ready for the kill

Yet as it speeds down
It falters and glides past

Today it spares the lovers
While it carries on it's merry way looking for another meal

They were ignorant to the danger,
Consumed by eachothers love and blind to the world

The raven was like a warning of an unavoidable conflict
Possible to stall, inevitable in the end

But not today,
Today is for the butterflies

I look into your eyes
My hands begin to tremble
You lean into kiss me
I hesitate

Your stubble caresses my cheek
Gentle fuzz against my skin
My stomach fills with butterflies
I’m unwilling to withdraw

My skin tingles at your touch
Sparks in your fingertips
I shudder
My heart fills with passion

I look into your eyes
My hands begin to shake
You lean into kiss me
I freeze

Your stubble scratches my cheek
Barbed wire against my skin
My stomach fills with moths
I’m Unable to escape

My skin crawls at your touch
Tension in your grip
I Recoil
My heart fills with rage

I look into my eyes
My hands begin to calm
You’re no longer here to kiss me
I can breathe

Your stubble a memory on my cheeks
Fresh air against my skin
My stomach fills with relief
I’m free

My skins safe from your touch
Out of reach of your grasp
I rejoice  
My heart fills with hope

I have written a lot of poems about
heartbreak
but not a lot about falling in love
I guess it is easier to write about
someone once they are gone
no risk of exposing the heart
to see it stamped on and
handed right back
but today, I want to talk
about the butterflies
and I know
it's cliché
but the way my whole body
flutters around you is not
unlike that of a butterfly
the way my body
explodes with colour
a kaleidoscope of pink
yellow
and green
how they live inside of my
mouth;
falling out when I try and
find the words to speak
and I may find it hard to
write about love
but let me say this
the skeleton of the butterfly
exists outside of its body
and when I am with you
I feel all so exposed
like everything inside of me
is on display
bare
but not afraid
never afraid
so I promise
to breathe poetry
into my lungs
and onto the page
into poems that start
with your name

I hugged a tree
And asked for guidance
The tree whispered

It is not the outside that matters
Only inside
Enter the altar in your heart
Suffused
with the fragrance of love
Light the lamp of silence
Bask in the beauty
Of
Yellow butterflies

Scoop it all up
The light, the love and beauty
And sprinkle it all around
with each word, smile and action
On people, animals and the stars
On the sun and babies
And on the waves and clouds
On toothless grandmas
And little flowers
Keep on and on and on
Living and giving

In that sublime temple
Of God
This creation.

gurgling around the rim of my insides
come alive when your name lights up my screen
lights up my face with a widespread smile
sparkling for ages and doesnt dare to disappear
never want you to fade.
in such little time, youve made the butterflies come alive
made a connection with them
theyre clinging on to you, they trust you
itll hurt if you leave them all alone
theyve been hurt, theyve built walls
but their soft spot is for a cute face
so bingo, youve got the advantage
dont manipulate this please
youve got so much power
over the butterflies on my insides

let me lay down some facts

fact is; the minute before i meet you i still get butterflies.
every photo of you that you send makes the whole world quiet
you made me pick up my guitar again
you made want to pick up the microphone again
the violin
to sit down at the piano and learn.
you made me want to be better not only for myself, but for you.

fact is; the smell of your hair can send me to sleep
the sight of your eyes can make the floor seem steep
i'm falling.
the touch from your hands set me on fire
the taste from your lips like sweet oxygen brings me back to life
as if for the moments before, i wasnt really alive.
the sound of your voice makes everyone else's fade away...

fact is; your laugh
oh my dear girl your laugh....
makes me smile like angels are singing.
and your cry
makes my arms automatically fall open
aching for you to be within them
because darling within them
no one can hurt you
no one can touch you
and everything is okay.

fact is; you taught me that i can trust again
you taught me what making love means
truly means.
because in the winter we learnt what it means together
and i wouldn't of had it any other way.

fact is; i cant stand the thought of you being hurt.
so i ask when i seem too persistent or annoying when asking you
it's only because i care.

fact is; when it feels like no ones out there
when it feels like the world is too big to handle
i promise you i'm still here
i promise you i'll hold your hand
i promise you that everything will be alright
because i care.
because i will do anything to make sure you're safe.

fact is;

...you're the first and last thing i think about in the day.
if my pillows could read minds
my bedsheets would be covered in your name.

fact is;

I love you.


and i just thought maybe you needed reminding of that.

Tell them everything & don't leave out the good parts
Hell bent whispers for desperate listeners
I'm not proud of the things we did
No, it didn't work out ... we were just kids
Knowing I stand tall in courage to leave

Go on and tell them why I needed to flee
Oh, everyone is talking about me
Oh, I've kept it mute  so you wouldn't fall
Don't leave out the good parts, tell it all!

Tell them everything & in between
How you've become so mean... you've got your story & I got mine
Oh, the secrets you've told me
Uh, were a waste of my time
Good sweet lies as you said " I love you"
How do you feel now? Seeing me rise above you
Tell em how you broke my heart
Should have left but was blinded from the start

Just continuous restless nights
Knowing my decision was right

Fine lines were breaking
Unbreak my heart now that beats to a different drum
Continuous agony has made me go numb
Knowing damn well it was all affecting me

You tarnish my character just so you can look clean
Oh, after it all. I promised to never fall
Uh, at least tell them I'm a good kisser.

Think Good Thoughts! JK! Fuck You!

Play, Run, And Get Fun,
Words that i can say what i can see,
Laughing Family, Throwing Volleyball at the Backyard,
But none of them was I felt before,

Closed windows, Closed doors,
Can't feel happiness under the sun after all,
Bright strokes of colors of a Summer,  
I can see gray scale and black,

No sense if the flower bloom outside my window,
Cause it can't change the way I felt today,
Waves of seas is just a photo capture by my memories,
Cause I swam deeper and deeper into the ocean of my mind,

Sun shines but all I see is darkness,
Neither birds and butterflies can't change the fact of the sadness behind the sun,
Behind those getaways, and cool rides, those smiles,
They fake it, I know they would....

How do two butterflies find each other
between the earth and the great sky
when there is so much space
and so much wild brush and wind
and so few of them, tiptoeing
from flower petal to petal?

I hear they dance
when they meet
their colours blending in pirouettes
and a hundred-stepped tango.
What a dazzling courtship it must be,
what a blessing to witness.

But I still cannot fathom how
in this enormity
do butterflies find each other.