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Heaven's really a place on earth with you,
Your eyes and smile on me again,
My chest sank, I smiled and I felt home,
I could replay that forever and never have enough,

You talked and I swear there was magic,
The dance of your hair, the sparks of your speech, the majesty of your eyes,
Separated from the fabric of the universe,
You stand alone with your grace and splendor,

With divine luck, I found a strand of your hair,
I held it tight at first then stopped and played it,
Words of fairytale manifested in that one strand,
I lost it, wasn't sad cause you'll give me another,

Your arm felt so soft, I wish I held it longer, I wonder what you felt,
I never wanted to take my thumb off of it,
I searched for your pulse, the core of your heart,
The summer to my icy heart, winter to my fiery mind,

I never knew finish anything I've written on you,
Just like how I never want us to end either,
I don't need much but I'll always need you,
You and your ten thousand volt smile,
My sinoatrial nodes are still jealous of you :)
070824

The foundation was laid
And I was named to be a building —
Dignified by the strength of my Master’s identity
And nurtured by His love that will last forever.

I played a role of hide and seek
And the long years built me
Where my facade dealt the beauty of the dust.
And the ashes of my ancestor
Were the old pieces of the bigger masterpiece.

A sculpture was born but it was unfinished
The lens of my Master was more than a promise,
And I aim to be whoever He wants me to be.
His burning arrows pierced me from within
Changing me as He leads me to the still waters.

There’s no wasted time in His loving arms
And yet I fall short of his glory from time to time,
Turning from left to right,
Side by side failing like a falling debris
But still, He picked me up from the dust.

I used to think that a building owns itself —
But it’s a revelation of time
Reminding me that I am not well-maintained
In the shadows of my own strength.

The sand of time even worshipped the rising Sun
And so here I am — waiting to be built again.
And if I am to spend another life
Then I would not waste a lifetime away from Him.
I rest in self-misery, as the pride of a mirror - to only see
It as I alone, suffering through these trials. My successes are
Mere private congratulations; pats on the back, aspirations relying
On the weight of the estimation theory. As are my days: random
Components, wholly in the degree of alteration

Days alternate between good or bad; often the latter- a newer
Taste of bitterness, to an unreasonable resentment; a sad struggle
Against the Diarrhoea of Complaints- for yes indeed, life can be
So full of ****, and almost in that same mirror, you sadly see
The very crap you’re forced to be seated in,- daily

As a man is the master in his own fantasies; to have dreams
In which they live as gods- their truths all taking a deformed shape
The shape of life being abstract; as what hurt you today, becomes
The foundation to build tomorrow’s strength. So don’t give into
What pain rests on your plate- feeding into its lies; as where there is
One’s fate, lies the fuel of faith. So ask yourself; where on that tank’s
Needle, does your faith tend to want to sit on
Coded messages, inscribed by the scars on my skin
Aspects of a secluded heart; as the line of tears, maps
Out the journey to a long sense of finding due healing

As the border between maturity and old youth, in a new attire;
Once the public uniform of coming in your, “Sunday best,”
Disguising all the vile of yourself- as we fashion ourselves to
Look like the most likable person; the scrap pieces of dripping water
From prior baptisms- as some of the sovereign believers are uncouth
To their God, wearing the many false skins, hunted in wickedness-
Their very own diplomacy of delighted barbarism  

Separate all of your self-gratifying creeds, and agreed to
Worship in love, pray together; coming as you are- as we are
All knitted together by familiar troubles, hurts, griefs, uproars-
To raise our voices, bringing life to this new body.
Lost in sombre details, of what really hangs around morals
-Crucifix, hanging around a sinner’s neck; so choked up
While the devil speaks on my livelihood with his demons
Parading as unwanted guests; foundations of personal griefs
I am unguarded; not well versed in a couple scripture verses

Versions of my weekly self- a relaxed stance, trying to have
Faith in a life of ease. Setting aside everything else, in the
Way of being by my bedside- faithfully praying on my knees

Still if my faith is loosely based on modern people’s commitment
To their faith and integrity, I might as well be faithless as them all-  
Seated in a church; behind on my many debts, sitting at the back
Listening to the loud laughs of the greatest hypocrites,
The usual Sunday gossip, sounding clearer than a church bell
Leaders who burnt me, quick to preach how I might go to Hell

As a failed sense of wholesome community in communal
Around church clicks of skin colour, for Sunday’s different cults
In what my conscious tries to say is a domicile sanctuary:
I’m a bit reluctant to fully agree with my own self
Zywa Jul 4
Faith is guidable,

while superstition hardly --


can be influenced.
Novel "The Enchantress of Florence" (2008, Salman Rushdie), part 3, chapter 19

Collection "Low gear"
CLOUDNINE'S THIRTY-THREE PSALMS OF PRAISE TO THE ALMIGHTY**

Oh, Sovereign Lord, creator of the heavens and the earth,
In awe, we lift our voices in praise and worship to You.
You are the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end,
Your majesty and glory beyond comprehension.

You spoke, and galaxies formed,
Your breath gave life to all living beings.
In Your presence, mountains tremble and seas roar,
Yet Your love for us is gentle and tender.

Mighty God, You are our refuge and strength,
A fortress in times of trouble and distress.
Your faithfulness endures through every generation,
Your promises remain steadfast and true.

We praise You for Your boundless grace,
For the gift of salvation through Your Son, Jesus Christ.
In Him, we find forgiveness and redemption,
In Him, we experience abundant life and eternal hope.

Holy Spirit, our comforter and guide,
You dwell within us, empowering and transforming.
Illuminate our hearts and minds with Your wisdom,
That we may walk in Your ways and bear fruit for Your kingdom. Selah

Heavenly Father, we exalt You above all else,
For You alone are worthy of all praise and adoration.
May our lives be a living testimony of Your love and mercy,
As we proclaim Your greatness to the ends of the earth.

Blessed be Your name forever and ever.
Amen!
Great is Your faithfulness, O Lord,
Your love endures forever, unchanging and steadfast.
You are the Shepherd of our souls,
Leading us beside quiet waters, restoring our weary hearts.

In times of darkness, You are our light,
Guiding us with Your truth and grace.
Your presence fills us with peace that surpasses all understanding,
And Your joy strengthens us in every circumstance.

We praise You for Your mercy that knows no bounds,
For Your compassion that never fails.
You hear the cries of the brokenhearted,
And You bind up their wounds with Your gentle touch.

All glory and honor belong to You, O God,
For You alone are holy and righteous.
Let the heavens declare Your glory,
And the earth proclaim Your mighty deeds.
Selah
From the rising of the sun to its setting,
Let Your name be praised in every nation.
May all peoples bow before You in reverence,
And every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.
Amen
Holy, holy, holy is thy Lord. Selah

Oh Lord, Your love surrounds us like a mighty fortress,
Your peace guards our hearts in the midst of storms.
In You, we find strength to overcome,
For Your power is made perfect in our weakness.

You are the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end,
In You, all things hold together and find their purpose.
Your wisdom surpasses all understanding,
And Your ways are higher than our ways. Selah

We praise You for Your faithfulness throughout history,
From generation to generation, Your promises endure.
You are our Provider, sustaining us with Your abundance,
And our Protector, shielding us from harm.
Amen
Let the heavens rejoice and the earth be glad,
For You have done marvelous deeds among us.

Your righteousness shines like the noonday sun,
And Your justice upholds the oppressed and downtrodden. Selah

We lift our voices in thanksgiving and adoration,
For You have rescued us from darkness into Your marvelous light.
You have called us by name and adopted us as Your children,
Sealing us with Your Holy Spirit as a guarantee of our inheritance.

All glory, honor, and praise belong to You alone,
For You are worthy of all worship and praise.
May our lives be a living sacrifice, pleasing to Your sight,
As we declare Your greatness and proclaim Your salvation to all nations. Selah

Blessed be Your name forever and ever,
In You, we find hope that does not disappoint.

Let Your kingdom come and Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven,
For Yours is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, now and forevermore.
Amen. Selah!!

--Cloudnine Fairmane C9fm.
Triggered by the anoiting of God. His love and covenant.
Bekah Halle Jun 9
"I want to know what love is,"
The ballads croon, a yearning I can't dismiss.
seeking love in all the ‘right’ places,
but come up short, heart strewn, finding no traces.
I have strayed in dares and curiosity,
overwhelming sensations birth animosity.
Pushed down, down, down deep below,
dormant, to 'fit in’, the ‘pill’ I swallow.
Much older now, can I claim my truth?
A Christian? Does that free me: a rebirth?
Am I ‘queer as ****’?!
Can I love without feeling stuck?
The heart requires courage,
but weak am I, keep praying for marriage.
Am I a hopeless case?
Or will I live and embrace?
Will I ever be free?
To be me?
Or will I keep denying,
it and keep trying,
to fit the mould
of this world?
****!!!
This is a tortuous personal piece that I want to delete but I am trying to find the courage to sit in this time and place; space, and grow my capacity.
everyone will die
no one wants to until they realize that life is prison
and in death they are free-
they are like orphans, taken in with kindness
unaware of their caretaker
[who they are,
what they want from them-]
when death is your foster parent,
his abuse isn’t forthright-
it’s like I learned in kindergarten
“how do you boil a frog?”
“slowly increasing the heat over a long  period of time.”
relax too long in his hot spring
and death may make a meal out of your naivety-

it’s only human;

when you are tortured days upon days
you ask for the bitter gall to hasten your death;
and life can be torturous to many
as everyday we are crushed by a millstone:
the weight of the rotting bodies
of children who took their parents gun
put it into their mouths
thinking they could swallow bullets,
leaving pieces of their skull
as little gifts to those that are left behind-

we are crushed by the purposeless, repetitive work load-
we form addictions just to cope with the lack of sleep
lack of energy
lack of love
lack of connection
and lack of intuition that we are forced to experience-

i was always told
“get used to doing the same thing and never changing
because it doesn’t end in school
it continues every day
until you finally get to pass away
with those who love you surrounding your side.”
oh death can’t be the only reward in this life!
no wonder why we can’t ever lose infatuation with killing ourselves,
“it all has to be better-
something has to be better-
anything could be better
than what we live in”-

I’ve found that the grass is never greener on the other side of the wall
it’s just sometimes taller
or shorter
or has some different plants growing inside
but the color only changes with the seasons
and we will all experience rainfall and drought
even God says that “it shall rain on the just and the unjust.”
so I move forward
remembering that “i have learned the secret
of being content
in any and every situation
whether well fed or hungry, whether living
in plenty or in want.”
and I cling to this verse as a  stronghold in my faith-

we will all see hell rain down in this earth
and many will weep as the blood and bones are crushed
and the skin is melted away
and also when the spirit is divided from the soul,
but there are still many who will not be concerned with
this or that
or the troubles of the day
and like nurses
they will stomach the stench of decay
and the sight of blood
and they will rush to aid those weeping
and comfort the broken,
picking up the pieces,
helping to fix their shattered complexion,
and will not take the bitter gall
but endure suffering-
and in suffering
we will find true freedom-
becoming like Christ
like lambs to the slaughter
and we will see our reward.
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