I’m uncertain of what to make out of my life, I have so many dreams and goals, but they all seem to be at a distance right now- they almost feel unattainable. I seek you, Lord, for counseling, for clarification, for wisdom, and insight. Guide me, O Lord, for I do not know what to do next. Please help me, O heavenly Father, for I am trusting you.
Faith means believing in something you’ve never laid eyes on. It’s an experience. Unshakable!! Rock solid. Something to hold on to. Everybody should have faith in something...... to get you through this life! When the earth turns and the places don’t move But also when an earthquake hits and everything is falling apart.
We all need something to hold on to in good times and in bad times!!
Up… Up… UP. Down… down… down… My mind is a storm. Chaos. An ocean of thoughts. Ideas. Aspirations. Confusion. Despair. Isolation. How long must I suffer?
Surrounded yet alone.
But then I’m not. Up, up, up I float. I walk on clouds. Mountain tops. I cling to this feeling. How long will it last? I, naively, hope forever. I float in peaceful rivers. I lift my eyes to the Heavens, and burst with thankfulness. I’m okay I’m not alone. I am at peace and enveloped by everlasting love. Though I crash, abruptly. I fall and fall and fall. I crack. But I heal. I endure, keep trudging. The confusion and lies of Satan don’t pin me down. Not anymore. You are with me, forever. You wait for me. Love me. Hold me. Walk beside me. I am a warrior. Survivor. Stronger than ever. I can’t do it alone. This life, this rollercoaster of a mind. I can’t trust myself, I put myself in Your Hands. I trust You. I cling to you, with all that I am. For You are good, and You provide. I repent. I am renewed. Peace ever flowing, Love everlasting. My Love. My Father. My Savior. Thank You. I am not a disappointment, or crazy, or demon possessed. Your Holy Spirit remains. You love through me. You were intentional in my creation. I am Yours. Forever and always. Amen.
A divine insanity consumes my soul Showing colors I can barely behold My eyes see the seas of possibility Yet fighting master of doubt in its own committee My thoughts are not my own I look to a higher throne Yet my darkness lingers Fire destroy leaving nothing but cinders Freedom and ******* has its fight Crying for sanctuary in the light Images swirl around my head Looking at the scars and how they bled The fire burns in a depth of a blackhole Days and years dance and how they toll The insanity speaks the only truth Confessing,revealing,the only proof
Disbelief or doubt is my natural disposition. With this I try to explain away what is inconclusive. To a Christian leader, I have another gospel, so my prophet is false. To a Muslim, I am an imposter because I believe in innovation. To a Jew, I am not of the Chosen Ones. To an atheist, I am unreasonable or delusive. To a Buddhist, I cannot attain enlightenment. Thus, to the secret societies of belief, I am a disbeliever, mad, and ignorant, going to hell, karmic or not, or to die a mortal death.
How can my healthy doubt have any way with explanation? To incorporate the masses, we provide governments and universally make declarations as the United Nations.
Should I lose belief to satsify the masses: agreeing with them that I'm a disbeliever and coming to terms with atheists?
Young man Starting to feel old In a body that dies His soul cries for more
He is fortune in squalor He is fortune to squander He is a bitter display Of diminishing wonder
And a voice says: “Hey, you're alright But if you want to fight I'm going to smite you till you die”
Young man Watching the wind blow An ephemeral tide And he writhes like a fish out of water
He is a misfortunate scholar He and misfortune are lovers He is the end of the world And the dawning of wonder
And the voice says: “This is your demise You can blame the sunrise When it shines in your eyes And buy yourself some time But your inner disquiet Is just adding fuel to my ire”
So the young man prays He prays…
“O God, it hurts I'm dying, convert me I can't bear to rot through eternity This life gets worse I’m trying, unearth me Hear the prayer of this speck in infinity Because time is a curse I’m defying, rebirth me I can’t fare through this mortal obscurity (alone)”
And his voice says: “Be still, my child You are in perfect health Stop talking to yourself I’ll be your ally Until you’re old and wise On my horizon And the sun will rise Like a body that dies But you won’t see it shine in your eyes”