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Insha 2d
you ask me if I talk to god
because he is important to you
and I reply saying I do
but not in the way you think

I speak to god when I’m all alone
crying and screaming and
even though no sound may come out he hears me
he understands what I am saying to him without me having to say a word
because he is always there listening and loving

just like I’ll be for you
Making ripples in the pond
Swimming in the shallows
Swept off by the waves, into the deep sea
and back to the shore
Buoyant forces keep afloat
Hope is the float
Takes you deep, into the shallows and back to the shore
Soaring high into the skies
Float into the zero gravity door
Back to the ground
On two feet
Undying faith in self
Unleashed
Abstract thoughts
Leave me like past eventide
and reoccur like morningtide
so that I can rest in the faith
of seeing you one more time.
I had faith in your shame.
I had faith that you would not come back.
At the very least, when you broke my heart forever.
I believed that not love, but shame would keep you from returning.

I had faith in your violence.
I had faith that you could not apologize.
At the very least, when you hurled your abuse at my fragile ego.
I believed that not love, but the violence of your judgment would keep you from returning.

I had faith in your love.
I had faith that you would not ever confront me.
At the very least, when you choose him over me.
I believed not in your courage, but your love for him that would keep you from returning.

I had faith in your pain.
I had faith that you would try to talk to me.
At the very least, when I destroyed your heart for another.
I believed not in your pride, but the pain you continue to feel would scare you away from me forever.

I had faith in your fear.
I had faith that you would erase every trace of your existence.
At the very least, when you saw my months of mental anguish at your absence in those letters.
I believed not in your good judgment, but your fear of my "instability" that would close the book on you forever.

I had faith in your cheating.
I had faith that you would absolve yourself of all responsibility.
At the very least, when you eloped with your husband.
I believed not in your vows to each other, but avoiding a difficult conversation with me would let you be silent forever.

I had faith in your respect.
I had faith that you would believe in me to find someone better?
At the very least, when I told you we shouldn't be together.
I believed not in your tears, but your belief that I would do better would keep you from ever speaking another word.

I had faith in your insecurity.
I had faith that when you found out it was your fault, that was it.
At the very least, when you cried and cried after it was all over.
I believed that you felt you had to go. Knowing, that you could never return to what we had. After you broke it.

I have faith in my letters.
I have faith that you will never talk to me again.
At the very least, when you saw them you did not stir from your place far away from me.
I believed that my words would rouse the truth of why you left. Your silence only confirms that my faith was well placed.
I don't have faith in goodbye because I've never said it. I'm not so dramatic as to abandon or betray the one he loves like all these people have done to me. I understand why it happens, and I hate it but goodbye is not why these people are gone.
The greatest moment
Of my life
Is when I saw
His beautiful face
After two years
After trials
And tribulations
The strength I need
To live
To love
To care
To give
To be me
The greatest moment
Of my life
Is when I saw
His beautiful face
Thank you, God.
You are near.
moments of visioning a great man
Umi 5d
When the magic fades,
And the winds stop howling,
A question occurs with yourself growling,
As shooting stars have granted no more wishes,
What you believed to be true proved itself malicious,
When sound melts into beautiful, yet resentless stillness,
Worry not, just as you are, faith is transient,
Even if this world might not be heavensent,
Do your best, live your life with no regret,
You may be faithless, but please..
Do not lose the faith in yourself.

~ Umi
Welp, I tried
Our Love
Has been forged
From the hottest hardships
From the strongest materials
Of faith, trust, hope, and joy
We are now
The strongest item
That no sword can pierce
No ram can batter
Come what may
Our love forged
Will stand strong
Unable to speak your mind
Trapped in an unknown, unsafe space
Thinking of what you can't do instead of
What you can do
Blaming God for your consequences
Giving up on praying
Settling for what you think you're worth

....

Crying slowly
Feeling misused, misguided, mistaken and misunderstood
Never understanding the unknown "why's"
Engulfed in a sea of pity
No longer having joy
Arguing with yourself and never forgiving yourself
Hurting deeply by stupid comments and miscommunication of actions

....

Praying for better days
Never giving up on yourself
Pressing through rough days to see another day
Praising God through it all, never rebuking His name
Crying because you're happy and grateful
Joyful because you know God has your back
Enjoying life as it comes

A broken spirit and broken soul can build YOU into a person who is made WHOLE.
3 stages of my life
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