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Shelby 4h
It was something small. In an effort to persuade me you said:
“I barely ever ask you for anything!”
Later you revealed that you felt bad, and that you didn’t mean it threateningly.
I chose my words carefully in my reply.
“I know you didn’t mean it that way.”
Because you didn’t. You never do. But it happens anyways. You are unaware of it, I think.
You’re unaware of how much you ask of me everyday.
Just by being you. Just by being us.
In every stinging word, you ask of me to ignore the hurt, because that’s easier than changing.
In asking me to bear the weight of who you are, and what you plan to do with yourself.
By asking me to be someone I’m not, to be someone that fits you.
“I barely ever ask you for anything.”
Not intentionally, lover, but in my life I’ve never felt so obligated.
Shelby 4h
I am an animal in a cage with false walls,
ones that don’t reveal the intention behind them until it is too late.
I felt so comforted in it, darling. It was everything I thought I had been looking for.
Even when the facade faltered on occasion I looked passed it because oh, love.
You would never force me to stay.
You don’t have to.

Because now it is too late.
I see a door, a door in a vast open plain. A door that is both an entrance and an exit. A door that leads from one side of The Coin to the other. Open the door? What a consequence, it could open the way to joy and happiness or fill the plain with cold darkness. Locked tight from long ago the door longs to make the two sides one. With one swift motion I open the door, only to see myself opening the same door from the other side. We both take one step forward and shut the door. Now I find myself watching Me wander around the vast open plain only to realize that I'm not watching me. I'm watching Him...

Cursed affixation
Taking in a drove of men
Who think they are above you
But somehow adore only you
And thinking maybe you’re in
On a joke that only you two know
Your wits supposedly matched
Your laughs the same horrible mocking tone
Your eyes faded in a facade
But the games are fun, aren’t they,
For an idiot like you?
Everyone hates the bully
Until you are one
And you feel the bitter tastes
And you think you are a part of something
That somehow you two are stronger
Better than before
But you’re both nothing but leaves
Destined to fall off and crumble
For the winds to drag you away.

These powerful pulls
To one another, and the filth
You both hide in
Triggers one to wonder how you can ever leave the cycle
Of the man who is a narcissist
Or the girl who thinks she is special
Because she is the only one he “respects”.

Take a walk
Break the false bond of strength
And realize that isn’t you
It doesn’t have to be you
Don’t make an addiction to
Addictive personalities
And let it soil the girl
Who wanted proper love
With a softer heart
Who sips quietly from life
On her own, safely;
She needn’t give another man
An ego trip
Because her fragile soul gives out
Too much love
And finds fascination in the grandiose self,
Something with a strong aura
But lacks true power,
Isn’t worth the degradation of yourself.
Love never hinges on something so broken.
A girl can learn, right? One would hope so.
Amanda 1d
There are storms inside
Rainfall that should not exist
Trapped within my heart
I try to keep it contained...
I can’t move
my legs are pinned to my body
squeezing against my chest
my arms restrain to my sides
my hands pressing against my flesh
my eyes wide but i see nothing
the four walls of this confined prison
pinches my skin
and pushes my head into my knees
my breath is heavy
Panting i can’t breathe  
I choke on my own thoughts
my own breath
my heart pounds in my eardrums
I long to stretch my arms
through the bars
of this prison with no windows
I yearn to stretch my legs
and run far far away
from this hell I have to call home
i have no room to run
the flowers of june
swim in the meadows
near lonesome willows
pining for the moon,
and women in chains
give in to the stars
while the hands of mars
sweep over the plains
JB Sep 10
I can't move
I try
and try again
but nothing is

Its just loose wires

It's all
white noise

I'm stuck laying here
sunkin down
staring out the window
and up at the ceiling
trapped with my tortured thoughts

Until my alarm goes off.
An old ferry boat
Lay trapped under layers of mud;
Flood’s message writ large!
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