Is it really what I need?
Or is it what I want?
Do I need to control my habits?
I have been for so long, but I know what happens once I give in to them...
Indecisive, I can’t make up my mind.
I keep switching between different thoughts holding me back, trying to own me.

I pop all alone, for fun.
But it’s love what I seek.
To have someone whom like me, understands me.
Someone dark, intense, emotional, and passionate.
Someone fun and likes living on the edge.
Someone loyal and honest, and true to themselves.
Someone **** and not egotistical.
Someone sweet, and nostalgic.
Whom, like me.

I crave it deep inside but I brushed it off completely letting go of the topic of lovin.
I incoherently, fell in love with the topic of sin.
Allowing sin to be me.

I’ve never had mutual love before.
I’ve never been the one before.
I’ve never been chosen before.
I’ve never made love before.
I’ve never been happy before.
I’ve never not been hurt or betrayed before.
I’ve never had someone love me so much that it destroys them.

But I’ve been that person.... to deeply to love, I banish myself in my misery.
Making the same mistakes over and over.
I gave up on it completely.
But now I feel it,
I need it.

I’m feeling ****** and sensual.
I’m feeling seductive and flirtatious.
I want someone close whom I can share that with on a deep level.
I’ve only felt pain, bring the drugs, to numb me again.

Vain, cold veins shivering inside of me.
So detached, love is nothing to me.
Water flowing inside my lungs, fire in my heart, and a devil on my tongue.

I crave depth and intensity with someone.
Love me hard, even if it’s just for one night only.

I look at you and wonder,
If you're hiding depth behind,
That cheerful disposition.

Are those calm waters,
All there is to you?

Don't get me wrong,
It's nice to stand,
In the shallow end,
With your head above water.

But I need someone with experience,
In open ocean swimming.

Someone who can hold their breath,
When a wave comes to wreck you.

We are poets
All we know
Is cigarettes and regret

We are poets
We know of heartbreak and all her words
The size of each of her veins
Asking to much of a broken heart

We are poets
We slip into the madness
Because it's more comfortable

We are poets
We observe
Saying nothing
Preferring to write our words

We are poets
And each of our lengths of love
Are our most beautiful works

With each reach I am further away than I hoped.
Clawing desperately at walls of mud.
Foiled by the viscosity of fools.
No matter how hard I try to escape the solitude it haunts me still.
Looming over me like a cowl adhered to my skull.
Comforting is its presence.
Complex are it’s vexes.
Is it the walls or my skin that take the brunt of my aggression?
Is it outward or all within?
Could it be that the darkness is my only friend?
The only thing that remains.
All my efforts are in vain.
All my transgressions explained.
My thoughts are all insane.
But here in the depth I can escape the pain.
So here I shall remain.
Filled with more of the same.
Questions unexplored… a bane.

let me tell you a story
a story across the beginning of time
i saw a broken piece along the way
people passed by day after day
nobody ever asked why she was broken
nobody gave her a helping hand
but i was intrigued
i wanted to know why she was shattered
but still held together
so i walked the distance
i said some words, asked her name
and she was LOVE,
i asked why was she broken
why was she alone in pieces of her former self
she said to me
i have lived from the passing of time
felt happiness, felt pain,
felt immense sadness—
but most of all it's the blame
the words people whisper in their hearts
saying; love is useless,
LOVE is a waste of time
centuries after centuries
i began to fade out
shattering little by little
till the piece you see before you—
she was truly who she was
she was a wreck made by us
blaming her for our mistakes,
maybe why real love is rare
so i said my welfare
knowing true love will never exist again

What a depth of
knowledge
Depth of thought
Depth of wisdom
Depth of understanding
Depth of emotions
Depth of feelings
Poets on HelloPoetry demonstrate
What a deep messages lie
Underneath
Cliches are put to shame
Trash doesn't find trash to hide
The poets are eulogised
Difficult for shallow or no poet like me to survive

as i sat in the decadence

of that New York moment

i knew i was in trouble

for the depth of my love

was darker than the red i sipped