Is it really what I need?
Or is it what I want?
Do I need to control my habits?
I have been for so long, but I know what happens once I give in to them...
Indecisive, I can’t make up my mind.
I keep switching between different thoughts holding me back, trying to own me.
I pop all alone, for fun.
But it’s love what I seek.
To have someone whom like me, understands me.
Someone dark, intense, emotional, and passionate.
Someone fun and likes living on the edge.
Someone loyal and honest, and true to themselves.
Someone **** and not egotistical.
Someone sweet, and nostalgic.
Whom, like me.
I crave it deep inside but I brushed it off completely letting go of the topic of lovin.
I incoherently, fell in love with the topic of sin.
Allowing sin to be me.
I’ve never had mutual love before.
I’ve never been the one before.
I’ve never been chosen before.
I’ve never made love before.
I’ve never been happy before.
I’ve never not been hurt or betrayed before.
I’ve never had someone love me so much that it destroys them.
But I’ve been that person.... to deeply to love, I banish myself in my misery.
Making the same mistakes over and over.
I gave up on it completely.
But now I feel it,
I need it.
I’m feeling ****** and sensual.
I’m feeling seductive and flirtatious.
I want someone close whom I can share that with on a deep level.
I’ve only felt pain, bring the drugs, to numb me again.
Vain, cold veins shivering inside of me.
So detached, love is nothing to me.
Water flowing inside my lungs, fire in my heart, and a devil on my tongue.
I crave depth and intensity with someone.
Love me hard, even if it’s just for one night only.