every day I had to dig through
deeply rooted malignancies
and clusters of phosphorescent
spider eggs and webs full of
dead flies draped throughout a
long-abandoned domain
once inhabited
                    by my mind

the roots pushed and
twisted their way through
thick walls of the
foundations and membranes
of spirit mind and body
where I didn't even know
how to feel      all I knew is
that I had crossed unseen
         no trespassing signs

in life among the living
I lived as though I were dead
In the midst of vast human
knowledge I held
        vast emptiness instead

this lack of substance was
all that was left in my mind
I found myself trying to buy
back more of what I
had to
          leave behind

my mind and spirit were in
lockdown      in this death I
began to die      when I was
high I felt let down
     in the truth I saw a lie

the dawn of each new day
filled the sky with hues of a
darker light        since all of
the windows were barred
       and boarded-up

the only way I could see
glimpses of a brighter
light or others living life
were through any thin
little cracks I could find

like an addict trying to
avoid their addiction
each new day and every
waking hour I would find
myself learning what I was
        losing my mind
        trying to forget

I was so sick and tired of
     d . . . always going down
          o
        w
           n

truth only strengthened
         this neurotic depression

but in the throes of pain and
breakdown I found hope in
a New Day     when I was lost
in the cycles of confusion
I at least found pieces of
peace and pieces of mind
        along the way

when I die with the sun in
the midst of the evening
I now find enough faith
   to believe I will
            rise with it again

when I seem to have lost
all of my chances I clutch
desperately to any strand
     of a chance to begin

saving what's left of my mind
buying what used to be mine.

Miserable miserable
i was
I am
N
I would

The holding of tears
Eventually dropping like icebergs

Rocks rocks rocks
They sound like rocks
They feel like rocks
They hurt like rocks

How coldness n strength
Changed into warmth n weakness

I followed your light
Worshiped your bright
Through deep n pain
How can i stop the rain

I kept it inside
You threw it aside

We played hide and seek
But only i seek

They said for the sake of love
They said for the sake of redemption

I used to cross my battles
I used to sharpen my dagger  
Now I redeemed my soul
N covered my sword

Those were new
I barley knew

I thought i’m tough
But it was rough

Now we have no tears left
Will cry it blood
We won’t make it stop

This heart is rotten
Filled with brok’n
Kitting it string by string
Oh where did the melody of them go
Oh where did the red in them go

he forgot how to human
all the competition drained from him
sitting at the lights
in the midst of blaring horns
the gateway open
go green
go green
no one caring that HE'd broken down
looking at an event horizon
drawing him from the crowd