I watch as the rain falls down
Each drop is the slow fall of every obstacle, waiting to meet you
As I sit under shelter I see the water shade everything it desires
It takes no mercy on any prisoner it lays its eyes on
But I am protected from the rain and its sheer coldness
The stream of water on the pavement chases after my feet
But I step away, avoiding the pain
The beauty of the rain tempts me, reminding me that I am a coward
There is nothing to fear
The damp grass, cloudy sky, moist air welcome me
It wants to shower me in love
The droplets of life only want to hold me
The rain is opening its arms and inviting me into relief
I step out...
The Heart was in shock, she just couldn't believe.
The pain from The Wise is what she received,
Every emotion he felt, and every battle fought,
Any emotional event he had, is what he brought,
And upon his passing, he sent them into her head.
The pink stagnated, and began to retract,
And the pain began to turn on her, and began its attack.
She fell to her knees, and she coughed up crimson,
Every memory etched into her skin, as if it were written.
She became paralyzed, and was unable to move,
And The Mind, in the chaos, was unable to soothe.
He watched as his love changed in appearance,
Every scar a story, and every story a dance.
Her skin grew darker, but went back to pink,
With bloodied lines to establish the stories links.
She looked at her carved up hands and grew scared,
Because last time she changed The Mind no longer cared.
She stood quickly, and began to hug her torso,
The Mind knew she was scared, but he loved her more-so.
He said, "My dear, look at what you've become!
The Wise's passing cannot be undone,
But he bestowed upon you such beautiful gifts,
These aren't scars, nor are they damaging rifts.
These are marks of beauty, making you unique.
I won't leave you, unless that is what you seek."
The Heart looked at The Mind's eyes,
Only to be surprised that he spoke no lies.
The Mind walked towards his newly changed love,
He gently handed her a pair of white gloves.
He said, "These marks don't fade, and your touch will be fragile,
If you get close to anyone, you must be agile.
You grow attached far to quick,
But if you do, hopefully you have this on your wrist."
She understood what The Mind was saying,
But the price of love is one worth paying.
When The Wise passed away,
It became a dark day.
He made The Heart into his vanguard,
But at the cost of making The Heart,
I still remember the way
The darkness in her eyes
the edge of her joke
cut me open
a watermelon on a hot day.
I remember the weight
of her body,
down on me
the morning after a slumber party,
I remember stolen kisses
nothing to her.
I remember how her smile felt
and her hugs
felt like bonfires
and her disdain
felt like cold water
crushing me into the dirt,
a worm at home.
when the slices of her jokes
and the cold
was all she showed me,
I packed the
petals of my love
so they could dry
and be admired in their
My first love
never loved me.
My first love
was unrecognizable as such.
My best friend,
I called her.
I couldn't recognize
I couldn't even recognize
All I knew was her fire
and it was all I ever wanted.
Every friendship lost
was the result of my own
All these women in my life
in a glass jar,
kept in the darkest corner
of my closet.
I can bring out my jar
and put it on my dresser
and open the lid.
Sweet fragrance fills the air.
I proudly show the
pretty scented display
"Look at it!" I say,
begging to be recognized,
to be accepted
who isn't me.
I finally learned
to open that jar of violets,
I finally learned to be me,
but my honesty
It was a graveyard and overcast sky
and I sat with book and accordian in hand,
hearing the world with its screams
swallow up around me.
The people whom I had loved and lost,
Papa with his silver eyes
Mama her sharp tongue and tough love
Rudy whose hair the colour of lemons
and questioned why, the living and dead,
worlds apart, yet both did not have a choice.
I stood and screamed so that everything shook
the burning rubble and ash and dust
willing my words to bring it all back
but it did not come, and my breath rose in gasps.
Death had looked me in the eye and said,
“It’s not time yet.”
I would shut my eyes to the world
only decades later.
I will understand that there was hate and pain
there was sadness
but even more so, there was love and joy.
I will know that the people I loved had reason
to kiss goodbye
whether it was their own hurt
or saw it as a necessity,
but they were never truly gone from me
always somewhere nearby,
in the thick and thin
frail and worn
I would learn
to forgive Death that day.
I will understand that
and I will be hurt,
but I will be okay.
Not all deaths are sad.
Some, meant to ease their own pain,
Are called freedom.
Meant to ease the pain of others,
Are called love.