There is a person I try to forget, Shoved in the back of my mind. The old me. The one who used to be happy Who used to be fun Who used to be able to fall asleep without crying or music or some other crutch and I just... I just want that person back.
so I've been super stressed out lately to the point where I lay in bed sobbing with my head mashed into my pillow so that no one can hear me, so I posted something on my c story and a kid I babysit for slid up and was like "are you ok" and so I told him what was happening and he sent a video of his sweet little brother saying "Hello, don't be sad" and his face was so close to the camera and his sweet little face made me cry but it like made me happy at the same time so now I'm having like mixed emotions, like I'm crying quietly and thinking of the video and smiling, my life makes no sense.
I take my pills to subside the pain, But the dark clouds are just waiting to rain, Therapy appointments medication and all, They are like my crutches without them I fall, My mind goes at such a pace, But it’s loosing in a one man race, Competing with myself to change who I am, I’ve tried so hard I don’t know if I can, They say death isn’t the answer then we’ll what is, I’m dead inside hate and feeling like this
Please feel free to comment positively or negitively aslong as it’s constructive, feel free to share
Who was your ******* rock? The one you relied on when others relied on you? I was the keystone who kept you together and kept the others together unbeknownst to them. I was the bandage sealing the wound from the bacteria of the world, from the ill thoughts and mean-spirited things of the world. I was your ******* crutch that supported you and helped you stand upright in this world. But just like a crutch, like a bandage, I was discarded once the problem was summarily handled. I hope you bleed out next time.
This is the first thing I've written in months. Nothing like anger to make someone impassioned, heh? Either way, I just had to get something out or this was going to eat me up.
It’s been two days since I saw your name My heart falls into my stomach whenever I do. I turn to my crutches and hope they fill the hole inside me. They don’t though Very few things do anymore. Writing helps, though I shouldn’t indulge this emotion. Not like this. It’s been two days since my soul rebelled. I hope it comes home soon. My body can’t sustain
Apologies for this. I had to get it off my chest though. It’s this way, *** or stronger things. It would appear there isn’t enough *** in the world anymore and I’d prefer to not dive down that other hole again.
promises of love and dediction we believe we are grown but inside of us just under the surface is a child wanting to be comforted to be loved so we hide this part of us the colours in our mind slowly dying because they say to keep something maintained you must nourish it but the nourishment we need is rare and this makes our palettes grey resorting to unorthodox versions of what we need crutches and supports that people refuse to speak about the childhood friend that moved away when you were young unable to cohere as to why they couldn't stay wrapped in the dreamland of explosive joy