Who was your ******* rock? The one you relied on when others relied on you? I was the keystone who kept you together and kept the others together unbeknownst to them. I was the bandage sealing the wound from the bacteria of the world, from the ill thoughts and mean-spirited things of the world. I was your ******* crutch that supported you and helped you stand upright in this world. But just like a crutch, like a bandage, I was discarded once the problem was summarily handled. I hope you bleed out next time.
This is the first thing I've written in months. Nothing like anger to make someone impassioned, heh? Either way, I just had to get something out or this was going to eat me up.
It’s been two days since I saw your name My heart falls into my stomach whenever I do. I turn to my crutches and hope they fill the hole inside me. They don’t though Very few things do anymore. Writing helps, though I shouldn’t indulge this emotion. Not like this. It’s been two days since my soul rebelled. I hope it comes home soon. My body can’t sustain
Apologies for this. I had to get it off my chest though. It’s this way, *** or stronger things. It would appear there isn’t enough *** in the world anymore and I’d prefer to not dive down that other hole again.
promises of love and dediction we believe we are grown but inside of us just under the surface is a child wanting to be comforted to be loved so we hide this part of us the colours in our mind slowly dying because they say to keep something maintained you must nourish it but the nourishment we need is rare and this makes our palettes grey resorting to unorthodox versions of what we need crutches and supports that people refuse to speak about the childhood friend that moved away when you were young unable to cohere as to why they couldn't stay wrapped in the dreamland of explosive joy
I want to explain the ****** up **** That runs through my mind No, I need to
Because I feel like I"m trapped in a monotonous circle of "I need you" I've got a shitload of scattered thoughts to **** through My brain is a minefield And lies are the only things I know to be true Days get blurred by copious drug abuse Amphetamines scream "*****, I know you! And you need me! You know it's true!"
The night seems endless because the days burn cold I'm digging six feet under to make my home that hole My body may look young but my spirit has grown old Hesitating to be bold This **** has gotten old My insides are rotten...yes, I'm filled with mold And I'd give away my soul But I'd be lying if I said it hasn't already been sold
They can't stop puffing ****** Even though the prices get steeper I'd leave if he hadn't said that I am a keeper
But, babe, I'm a ******* liar I wish I could ignore you but you're my heart's sole desire So, sadly, I'm wired Sobriety expired Remember, babe, I'm a ******* liar
So, I'll make false promises like liars do And please believe me when I say it's true Because, ****, *I need you to
When she threw me out It was my fault I know. The drinking had started again. I slept in the car for days. Locked out at night. Yet still I drank My job was lost. But not as lost as me. I remember waking in the drunk tank. I was ***** unshaven. And my eyes were hollow. She paid my bail. I saw her through the bars of the cell. She was so beautiful. And so clean and pure. She whispered quietly I always loved you. I still do. I felt so ***** I needed A shower and shave. But living rough is hard. I quietly said thank you I love you too. She touched my cheek With her finger tips Like she used to touch my skin When we made love In our clean bed. She had tears in her eyes As she saw what I had become. She said softly You know I lost our son as well. As I stumbled away to that signpost for the town of oblivion