there is a man in my mind
and i call him steve
from this man
i wish to be relieved
the things that he says are things
no man should say
but these are words that simply
do not go away

this man, steve, tells me to make others hurt
this man, steve, tells me to put my hand down your skirt
he tells me that being with my is your corruption
that our relationship will be your destruction

but i know that i love you
and from what you show, you feel the same
but i have been stuck with this man
in his silly little game

for so long.
please get steve away from me.
im tired.

[...] and the greater the wound the greater the fang. And, when we experience trauma that is given to us by so many people, we find that we have become every one of them at once. In my body I hold every trauma. In my eye is all of theirs. In the eyes of God, I am an abomination.

Nothing could...
Even if it be something deadly-

Cancer
biting my tongue,

Poison
on my lips,

Venomous snakes
Drooling expectantly,

Fear of defeat
From spiked punch,

Or even from guns
And bombs against my skull,

Chemotherapy, overdose,
Pretty poisons and drowsiness...

Nothing could stop me
From loving you eternally

I am crying out for help,
I simply cannot take this pain,
I would rather a hundred needles,
Than this feeling in my veins.

I am scared I will wake paralysed,
I’ll feel more than out of sorts,
I do not think I can shake this,
The only thing racing will be my thoughts.

I am crying
Crying out in pain
This suffering I feel
There is no cure
I am not heard
I am screaming
Begging for help
Yet I am alone
Writhing
My bones are sore
My mind is at its tether
What can I do?

Maybe I am dying
We all are
A little bit everyday
But this pain
I am dying a little more
What will it be?
What will cause my end?
My body or my mind
Decaying
Both are weak
I cannot remember
Ever being strong.

i already miss flying
high above myself,
unaware of every ****
i should maybe be giving.

healing is hurting.
healing is hurting.

i plant flowers in my
wounds instead,
fully aware—I feel them
grow from me
& bloom.

painful, beautiful.

and so powerful.

I used to find power in
deflecting
neglecting
rejecting &
subjecting myself.

healing is hurting.
healing is hurting.

hurt people hurt people.
but healed people heal people.
and maybe sometimes they’re
the same person.

like the blood that seeps
through the holes n gaps in my skin
i patch it up
with paper and tape
but what lays underneath
calls every blade to my skin
i try again
to keep it away
but it causes a hunger that's impossible to satisfy
in any other way

but maybe that's a story for another day.