i've lived with you all my life you've been there through the laughter and the heartache and the tears you were always physically there but never emotionally i am your daughter through blood, but not through love i never had the comfort of being close to you you were always just my mother hearing other people talking about their relationships with their moms hurts bc i've never had that always disappointed for my mistakes and never praise for my achievements you were always too busy to talk too preoccupied with my other siblings to listen too tired to comfort me in my time of need i've always had a mother, but i've never had a mom you are so checked out of my life that you cant hear my cries for help but its just a normal teenager thing, right?
Tonight is a Terrible, Silent Respite From The Cruel, Cruel March. The Brilliance of Sunlight's Beauty Begins to Scar With Cracks of Dark . The Echoes Of The Universe Are Few And Far Apart, And In This Of All My Treasured Moments, I Wonder Where You Are?
The Pillars And Foundations Sometimes Fall From So Many Things That Were Beautiful And Tears I Weep As Light Escapes, Kneeling Before The Fireplace, To The Flames, Whose Soul Burns to Embrace The Many Broken Parts Of Me, That Can No Longer Be Replaced.
To Love Lost. To The Friends, Now Gone. To The Good In Me, Eroded. And To The Man I Want To Become. Where Are You? I Need You.
I only pray You keep your promise To never leave My broken soul I know its hard I know i'm not easy to love But say with me Until our pictures are old And there fraying at the edges After all that was your promise You swore you would stay with me Even when its hard Because the sadness from you Abandoning me is a sadness I could never recover from
my abandonment issues are so strong i only hope you hold me close
here i sit watching watching you make new friends whether or not they're good for you i sit here watching you make one bad decision after another but i don't say much in fear of upsetting you in fear of drifting farther away from you in fear of you going off and informing people of my worrying here i sit watching you tell people things that weren't yours to tell watching you drift farther away from your innocence farther away from your true relationships farther away from me here i sit while you yell at me while you tell me to not worry while you tell me you "love me" while you tell me that you will be okay while you cry to me while you vent to me while you tell me you don't care while you laugh at me for caring while you tell me you hate him but then tell me you miss him while you tell me that i need to care once i say im done caring here i sit crying crying because of how much pain this is causing me crying because i can't do anything crying because you are fine with this crying because you are fine with them crying because im tired of feeling this way crying because what happened to always? what happened to ill never leave you ill always love you i would never do that just one more trust me i would never lie to you im sorry i should've listened to you you're my only true best friend you're my person here i sit exhausted from the mental pain being forced into feeling numb because im tired of feeling missing what we had what we should've still had now what you tell me we still have ... but we both know that we don't
im scared im scared that one day our long embraces will evolve to just a faint smile im scared that one day we will merely wave when we see each other im scared that one day we wont even wave we might just glance at each other not so long ago, we spent every waking minute together not so long ago, i laid in your bed and laughed all night with you not so long ago, we dreaded for the time i had to go home not so long ago, we told everything to each other not so long ago, we always had something to talk about not so long ago, we would go on long walks just because not so long ago, we would sneak off at 2 AM to watch the stars not so long ago, we laid on my shed roof in the middle of the night just to watch the sky and talk not so long ago, we laid on your kitchen floor rolling in laughter not so long ago, we cried in each others arms not so long ago, we composed hilarious songs in your room just to belt them out so that your dad would hear how dumb we were not so long ago, we laid together and watched the fault in our stars not so long ago we say but it seems so long ago it seems like a distant memory
I remember the taste of your lips. I searched in panic Trying to remember the last place I put you. Turning my pockets inside out Conscious of the last time you were here on my lips Consciously knowing that I need you now. It's been twenty-five minutes already & I am craving the way you lick my lips. I am in awe, your body pressed between my fingers. My lips swallowed by your tongue. I stand in silence. Punished yet unpunished The taste of your lips swirling against my lips Patting my pockets then looking up To see you've been in front of me the whole time. Whether several seconds or several lifetimes I am in constant protest. If I were to lose you, consciously knowing that I need you now Unconsciously knowing how much is left in you. I stand in silence punished yet unpunished Giving my lips to you Until one of us parts
You are the light of my life My morning sun and my evening moon I want to reach you and stay by your side Too bad you’re just “not in the mood” Too bad “you have better things to do” Because the only thing I do is think of you
I dream of you thinking about me too
Sometimes we want to be cared about by the wrong person