A sea of brown and green lay at my feet,
with subtle movement i can hear them clink.
Some are empty, some are unfinished.
But for right now it doesn't even matter.
Stained cheeks of watered ink,
Salt that's mixed with sadness.
A heart of pain, a lifetime's worth.
Filled with remorse and regret.
Embers burn your words of love,
it's right there in the fire.
with a broken trust, pages are torn,
like I never even mattered.
My fingers, cold, only at the tips
as I clutch the final letter.
turns out you were no good for me,
and I was no good for you.
the spaces where things used to be,
all silhouetted from dust.
this place that once belonged to us
is now home to me and my bottles.
Brad is downstairs.
He has turned on
the radio. You sit
there on the bedroom
floor wearing the black
slip he bought you a
while back. You were
going to leave him,
but have run out of steam.
You put out your feet,
still with the red stilettos on.
Will he come up or think
you are out? You hope
he doesn't. Hard to explain.
Your dark hair needs
brushing. Mother used
to brush it when you were
a girl. A hundred strokes
she would say. You still
remember her doing it
with you between her legs
as she brushed. That smell
about her. Her plump thighs.
Dead now, cancer. He moves
about downstairs. You hope
he doesn't. You could have
been gone by now. Too fussy
about what to take what to
leave behind. Your bottom
feels stiff sitting there on that
hard floor. What if he does come?
What will you say? You close
your eyes. Try to push sounds away.
Almost made it. Bed last night.
Him wanting it and you not, but
you did it nonetheless. You know
he's slept with her. That bitch at
his office. Tight arse. Large eyes,
lips seductive. The radio stops.
The door shuts. Your red shoes
kiss together at the toes. Will
you go? Who knows. Who knows.
If it's really me that you're missin'
Then shut the Fuck up' & listen'
to fill out the empty spaces,
in smoke clouds-you-two-hide
hiding your faces.
sighs & sounds
became a menacing
—you've become dirty
& even more,
is now Foul.
Taking cover... with another lover,
My fingers break on guitar frets,
As you cheat on
—I, in shock to your dark silhouettes,
Love is warm but this is wrong,
it burns full of lost bets,
in the night —not my bed,
Unveiled from your abetted rage-you're exposed-drunk & deranged.
tears won't stop falling upon this page,
toss it into the fire that fuels my pain~ Couldn't let me know?
Let me go, let me go insane,
Scars of your love made my mind a cage.
I can't take anymore
Just let loose your rains
—unleash your tongue full of excuses & blames.
have been my awaited blades.
Just let loose your rains
—Out with my dying flames.
Free me from your love chains.
Although your fangs are out and the wounds are starting to heal,
your venom still lingers.
I feel poisoned by you,
You slither and slide your way through life hurting everyone you come close you,
I'm starting to feel immune.
Your bite runs deep but i will heal...
They'll not be forgotten
just moved along by the cops
they'll mumble and shuffle
avoiding a scuffle
as the guillotine, finally drops
Fighting for freedom
commendations they earned and deserve
discarding their souls
in deeper foxholes
and always doing what's needed, to serve
The days come and gone
Veterans now left out on their own
as damaged and broken
the politics spoken
but leaving them cold, and alone
We'll bang the drum slowly
and march to manicured graves
we'll sing all the songs
righting all wrongs
here, in the land of the free
and the brave
To satisfy is to rectify the prosperity of my heart.
Where does the dog lie?
He is scruffy, overfed
Lies in bed with a bitch
Dreams of a witch
Who lost her magic
When the ship departed
He humped every living thing
I still have the ring
Wear it every week
Even though it is too late
to love a dog.
Normally after being cheated on
I should feel betrayed
You should be feeling guilty
Instead you’re making me feel guilt
Because in your distance you couldn’t see me trying
It shouldn’t be this way
We should be working together
Instead I feel guilty
Because you felt the need to cheat
And you’re feeling betrayed because in your 7000 miles
I couldn’t show you how hard I’m trying
I can never forget
Fifteenth July, 1997
That day in New Garden Suites, Room 205
When you inscribed your blade of deceit
Upon my innocent heart
When your shameless stick
Plunged forcefully through my flesh
And robbed me of my innocence
I never saw it coming
But how could I?!
When all I saw was a mask
Behind that sweet mask was a ferocious wolf
Waiting to devour at the slightest opportunity
I tried to wipe off every memory of you I had
But for some reasons this one thing will not go
She stuck with me like araldite
And reminded me of that ugly night
When she was knitted in my womb
I call her Brona
Because her smell makes me sad
Desperate times like this call for a distraction.
Feeling wanted and craving some attention.
There's always a price to pay without an education, in the art of seclusion.
Laying on the couch as he gazed upon me.
Taking in the sight, to his delight
he found me charming.
He told me, "I'm a fighter. I'm a queen."
That he found me particularly fascinating.
"We're not so different you and me,
Which makes you superior when compared to anything."
I was stuck between the sheets. Plunging forward.
Falling further. Wondering why his smile made me feel so sickening.
I'd be crying as he took me in his arms.
Made me believe he truly meant no harm.
He held me tightly and he muttered,
"If you get any older maybe we could move past heavy petting.
You can't gain experience without experimenting. "
He told me, "I was pretty
And around pretty things don't mind if I get a little touchy feely.
Younger girls fall so very easy. Just don't gain any unwanted feelings,
without them I can still make you feel amazing."
Once again I was stuck between the sheets. Plunging forward.
Falling further. Unknowingly risking everything.
I felt like nothing when compared to anything.
He'd pull me closer as I started shaking.
Assured me that'd he'd never hurt me and there was no need to be afraid.
He made me feel uncomfortable rather than amazing.
Turns out his words meant nothing.
Still sitting frightened in his lap.
My need for comfort had enticed him so much one day when he just snapped.
And me feeling guilty for doing so, I Innocently asked,
Craving comfort and security, how was I supposed to know?
I'm sorry, that really wasn't my intention.
He started smirking as he said,
"You really like attention.
Your teasing doesn't pay the bill.
One day you won't be able to shut me out.
And those doors won't stop me from getting in.
Is that so difficult to comprehend?", he threatened.
I was a token of your humor.
I was your stupid little fool.
I was nothing but your prisoner.
I meant absolutely nothing at all to you.
I was stuck within your sheets.
Unable to move forward.
There was nowhere else to fall.
As I was screaming silently, you made me realize
the meaning of nothing meant me.
If I had known all along, that I was backed against the wall,
I would have never wrote this poem.
And I would have fought harder than just screaming, that this feels wrong I think we should stop.