I hate the way you've made me think about myself.
I'm disgusted with my own dependence on you.
I resent that I feel like I can't breathe without you.

You've destroyed what I believed love is supposed to mean.
You're soiled my dreams of falling for my best friend.
You continuously shred my heart with your whiplash tenderness.

I'm confused by you.
Is your attention lust or infatuation?
You and I can't seem to be apart.
No matter how many times I tell you it hurts to be together.

You've made me ashamed to show my face around.
Your touch has turned my skin dirty, it can't be physically cleaned.
When your name appears on my phone, I feel like throwing it and running the other way.

I wish I could take everything back.
Every stolen moment together, every private joke, every discrete dinner.
I want you to know that I want this to be over.
pk tunuri Apr 10
If someone, you trusted the most betrays you.
People blame you for trusting him "Blindly"
and also quote "Trust No One".
But have you ever seen anyone pointing their fingers
at the person who betrayed you, looking him in the eye
and asked him why would he do that to you
or how dare he betray you or anyone?
No! right?
I feel, the people, the society encourages this betrayal and the betrayers.
If anything such happens around you,
stop giving free pieces of advice and
stop backing him(the betrayer) up.
You better warn the betrayer not to betray anyone
and also quote "BETRAY NO ONE"
What kinda foolish statement is "Trust no one"?
How can you not trust anyone?
So everything you do is just drama!
Acting like you trust him/her,
that's where these betrayers come from.
They are you, who sit silently when betrayal happens
You got to trust! Nothing works without trust!
Why is it, not trusting anyone even an option?
Let's say let's "BETRAY NO ONE"
Annie Apr 6
Crazy to see
How many wish to die
Just to know
How many will miss them or cry

I do not need death
To show me if I'm needed
I disappear for a night
And my conscience is defeated

Funny what time can do
Bury us down
Pull us up
To make us feel lost and found

Been told I'm weak
Left after coming too close
Once or twice
Or maybe a hundred times

How is it that I'm still standing here?
All naked so you would see
The scars that won't heal
Someone that's just not me..
Jeff Gaines Apr 1
I made friends with a shooting star one fine morning …
at least I thought that I did.
It touched me like a real, heartfelt emotion …
and not just some winning bid.

From the moment I found her, 'til that last parting shot … in between ... all the here's and now's …
There is just one word to describe it all … and that would simply be “Wow”.

Unbounded … by all this new stardom …
it seemingly went straight to her head.
Confounded … I watched her drifting away from me …
swearing it's nothing that I've done or said.

The more new fans and friends that she gathered …
the less of her endearment I'd see.
Her eyes quit lighting up, as they had always done, when she'd come racing up just to hug me.

I hung in there though … steadfast and true … I never, ever wavered.
But, it seemed, no matter what I did … I was slowly ... but surely ... less favored.

I did all that I could to help her star climb …
Oh, but with that, up came her wall.
I watched her latest mask become someone else …
a persona I didn't care for at all.

Finally one day, she disappeared me for a year, retreating, deep inside her shell …
This was my perplexing lot.

Ever true … and the fiercest of friends, I just had to give it one last shot.

A shallow excuse … then a pair of lies … and a reprise back to the cold, painful silence …

After all the times shared and things done and said …
That … was all that I got.

She had dismissed my loyalty, and all of my love … though hurt ...   I'd been patient to a fault.
It just goes to show you that no matter how hard you try …
you can't teach a turtle to waltz.

And now it's all finished … a sad, lonely fruition … confident …
I have done all that I can.
Totally dumbfounded at this juxtaposition …
Devoted … uncommon friend … Demoted … to some common fan.

Sadly, I could never, ever be one of those … nor waste my time annoying some poor turtle.
Sadder still … I never got to tell the real her “Goodbye” ...
She'd meant the world to me.
I once had a really close friend ... I really want to believe this ... BUT ...
No matter how close I thought I was ... I would soon learn I was wrong. and eventually, after years of what I thought was closeness, she just "vanished" from me (or did she "vanish" me from her?), leaving me no way to contact her.

I pondered the reasons to the point of insanity ... until I realized that it just was what it was and there was nothing to do or say except to write a therapeutic piece like this (a few, actually) and move on.

I was led to find this writing from poet Trent Shelton ...
It truly began my healing process with an enlightening understanding:

"You can't control someone's loyalty. Being loyal is a decision they have to make. No matter how good you are to them, doesn't mean they'll treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn't mean they'll value you the same. You just have to understand the people you love the most, can sometimes turn out to be the people you can trust the least. But never let that turn you into a person you're not. Keep LOVE in your heart."
~TRENT SHELTON
Nichole Sep 2017
"Why?" I ask to myself
When I saw you kissing beside the shelf
I wanted to cry
But all I can do I a deep sigh
How can you do this to me?
But I cover my eyes so you won't see
All my pains
And hatred that I gain
I found my self in my room
Cryin like no tomorrow
Grips tight in my heart like a foam
A more cuts to follow
A didn't expect his betrayal
And I want to kill him like a fly
I'll surely move on
So I can be a bitch to shown
E l l e Mar 26
I love your animosity
The way you hold your amnesty
Higher than your sanity

But at the same time
You don't know you hurt people
But I guess you've never felt anything yourself.

I loved your generosity
Until I found out it was publicity
Oh,
The audacity!

Your sins are reckless
But I suppose family is timeless
I still love you..
Though you've made me heartless.
Dysfunctional family?
SangAndTranen Mar 21
I didn't make it.
I'm not good enough.
They don't want me.
As the others crossed the bridge,
The ones I struggled on this journey with,
I fell into a dark pit below.
I screamed for them,
but they couldn't hear me.
I flailed in the darkness,
But they couldn't see me.

However.

I could hear THEM.
Faint voices from above.
'She's gone. Leave her. She failed.'
So much for brothers
Sisters
Family.
So much for 'I'll never leave you behind'
They left me in the void.
An eternal torture.
I have cried
Screamed
Choked on my own disgust.
But none of that is going to bring me back
From this hell.
What do you think this is about? Bc I have no clue haha! *OPEN TO INTERPRETATION*
Kim Essary Mar 6
Looking back trying to rekindle my childhood, my memories seem to be scattered;
  Maybe God has erased most them, and left only the ones that mattered.
  Trying to sort through the ones that still remain;
  I find myself saddened and my heart filled with so much pain.
  As a little girl growing up I felt so alone;
  The lifestyle that surrounded me I wish I would have never known.
  I long for the one thing that every child needs and should never have to do with out.;
  The love and the nurturing from my mother I know nothing about.
  The absence of her emotions haunt me day by day;
  Although I'm grown with two children of my own I still long to feel her acceptance and her love this I asked for the Lord to touch her every time I pray.
  She will never know nor even care the way I hurt and  feel inside;
  She will never see The Emptiness for the life that I was deprived.
  Is it that I was so obsessed with her approval and the need for her attention;
  That I myself have neglected the needs of my own children I dare not admit or venture to mention.
  I pray that the Lord grant me the ability to give them the attention and affection that I was never shown.
  I chose some paths I knew better than to choose;
  I made my own mistakes never taking into consideration what it was that I was about to lose;
  Now that I've lost them or regretfully chose to walk away;
  My life has become a living hell needless to say.
  Never did I want my children to grow up in the same environment that I had to;
  I want so much more for them and I will do everything I need to do.
  I have faith that my life with help  from the Lord will turn around and I will have my babies back where they belong.
  Living without them has taught me so much, I  hope one day they can give me forgive me and give me the chance to do what's right for all I have done wrong.
Dedicated to a child that touched my heart with her story
Alaa' qabajah Feb 13
Its like a knife in the middle of your back
You can't Reach it
You cant drag it out
Mabye
you shouldn't...
Next page