I feel like a kitchen appliance
Being used until the newest model comes in from Amazon,
So someone else can steal the Amazon prime light away from your matchstick way
Lighting up the darkest of nights
Melting my worries away
I used to be that way,
I look shiny
I never thought you could replace something irreplaceable until I don't know now?
And maybe sure,
My cable is freighted
My blue eyes have more luggage than what it first came here with
It feels like there's more instructions,
So now I see this familiar box
Amazon prime logo ready at hand
Knowing that this night is will be my last
This one has brown eyes
And it's cables aren't freighted
Like how you left me jaded
That one won't be outdated, right?
So as you pry me from my throne
I hold as hard as I can
Freighted cable holding onto the wall
With all of my might
Knowing that the only thing that is irreplaceable
Ive run circles around,
The of right and wrong and where one should belong.
So listen closely, truth comes in all forms
You don't scare me.
You threats are empty.
Just like the promises you sell,
It's just not friendly.
So fuck off.
Power comes when you see
That when you draw fist blood
It's not me who bleeds.
I am certain that you will start to feel
That living life as you do
Slows, not stops, the truth
And truth is real.
So eat the shit that you have been wanting us to eat,
Then I'll be satisfied in knowing
This meal was something forced through your teeth.
Payback isn't always what you may have believed.
This is all you, and unfortunately you'll see.
You aren't even worth the time
Nor does your name deserve a shoutout
In this ticked off rhyme.
I don't need anybody else to fine.
Run along now, go fuck with someone else's life.
So I guess I'll let it pass.
But don't think I pity your sorry ass.
Don't think I am grateful for shit.
At the end of the day, your nothing but my bitch.
Why do you come back crying to me?
I told you we are not best friends anymore
You did not talk to me
You left me
Do you not see?
You left with him & left me
You broke our friendship
How beautiful it once was
Do not come back crying to me
You left with him & left me
I told you he was not worth it
I told you
Diana you know he was not worth
What we had built together
Why are you still with the boy you do not like?
I see you there with him & you tell me you miss me
If that was true then why did you not leave him?
Why are you not fixing our friendship?
I know you do not like him
But you still chose him over me
So then, Diana, what does that make me worth?
I have nothing clever to say,
You got me and for that,
I say well done,
You knew what to say when your straw hair
Scared the crows of uncertainty out of me
Leaving nothing but the sound of a unsound heartbeat
Knot knowing when to untangle
And to lay my beautiful brains out on the carpet.
Yet at the right time
you knew when to yank the carpet
From under my flat feet.
Leaving the cold walnut wood floor
For me to be my final resting ground.
You exiled me
From all the demons that pushed out of me
You knew the write thing to scribe
The masterpiece of all endings
By shutting the damned door
Leaving me with Rime and Uncertainty
Quietly freezing Away
With No Rime or Reason
I don't know how to make this poetic.
I don't care to make it beautiful.
Even now I'm questioning why I'm letting this out. Not even in my black book do I wish to share this nightmare.
"I want to let go though..
There is so much hidden behind this smile. So much discomfort when they brush against my skin, nothing but lies when I hear them speak, the reason why 'love' is something I admire for afar..
I get lost in my writing,
It's very therapeutic. But even this will haunt me for days. How would you suggest letting go of this dark space?
He's right here with me,
The reason why I hate them. He's constantly whispering in my ear, giving me reasons why I shouldn't allow anyone close. He's right on my back always a heavy load.
I still can't find the words to rid myself of his face..
I don't know how to share, my nightmare."
You cannot possibly imagine what I saw today, trying to keep my mind at bay.
Minding their own business came a pair.
Even one could say
But where does this line cross with me and this duo?
That I may owe.
With a sigh I hang my head low, the thought of another gruesome blow.
In curiosity or spite
I do not know when these two are ready to bite.
Are they hungry or is it loyalty they are after?
I do not know;
I am only an outsider to those hounds that dug for what was already gone.
Prey they once tried to feast on.
Bound to this sickening notion; the false lulls of security they once had.
Something they could only turn into the gritty,
Insufferable grabs of dirty filth they once called a party.
Once a whole, a group that dissolved slowly under the time of an hour glass.
From birth to death we breath.
Grasp at anything we can hold ourselves accountable without being the accused.
Departures to new comers we welcomed as our own.
Only to be betrayed and left out at dawn.
Now today I stand as proof of a wolf who alas left the pack; we once called ourselves a flock of deer in disguise.
A sea of brown and green lay at my feet,
with subtle movement i can hear them clink.
Some are empty, some are unfinished.
But for right now it doesn't even matter.
Stained cheeks of watered ink,
Salt that's mixed with sadness.
A heart of pain, a lifetime's worth.
Filled with remorse and regret.
Embers burn your words of love,
it's right there in the fire.
with a broken trust, pages are torn,
like I never even mattered.
My fingers, cold, only at the tips
as I clutch the final letter.
turns out you were no good for me,
and I was no good for you.
the spaces where things used to be,
all silhouetted from dust.
this place that once belonged to us
is now home to me and my bottles.
Brad is downstairs.
He has turned on
the radio. You sit
there on the bedroom
floor wearing the black
slip he bought you a
while back. You were
going to leave him,
but have run out of steam.
You put out your feet,
still with the red stilettos on.
Will he come up or think
you are out? You hope
he doesn't. Hard to explain.
Your dark hair needs
brushing. Mother used
to brush it when you were
a girl. A hundred strokes
she would say. You still
remember her doing it
with you between her legs
as she brushed. That smell
about her. Her plump thighs.
Dead now, cancer. He moves
about downstairs. You hope
he doesn't. You could have
been gone by now. Too fussy
about what to take what to
leave behind. Your bottom
feels stiff sitting there on that
hard floor. What if he does come?
What will you say? You close
your eyes. Try to push sounds away.
Almost made it. Bed last night.
Him wanting it and you not, but
you did it nonetheless. You know
he's slept with her. That bitch at
his office. Tight arse. Large eyes,
lips seductive. The radio stops.
The door shuts. Your red shoes
kiss together at the toes. Will
you go? Who knows. Who knows.