nothing is free
just because I
of a grip
you and I
and fall apart
of the moment
I've been having quite a few conversations with your ghost lately.
You're still alive, but it's your memory-
your essence of presence that still haunts me.
Last month we talked about the park we used to meet at during the summer of 2012. (I think I can't remember the dates of us anymore) I used to always get there first because I lived right down the road.
You've been telling me to go there but I can't bring myself to take the drive because I know I'll just end up sitting on the bench alone.
Last week, you told me you never meant to hurt me, but there was just too many factors plotting against us.
There was never enough time, my mother couldn't stand the sight of you, and we were just too different. I held my tongue as you said these things because you again failed to mention the truth.
You had fallen out of love with me way before I even realized it.
Last night was the most recent discussion we've had.
I reluctantly confessed to still having the note you had written me on our one year anniversary. We were in high school. The only reason I remember that is because I remember the notebook you used to write to me in. (I didn't tell you that part though). I also told you I almost burned it the other day, but that I wasn't ready to face that flame yet.
Your response to that was something I didn't expect.
You told me that it should have been you cleaning up the shards of glass you used to pierce my heart with. You know, instead of forcing me to apologize once again for leaving blood stains on your clothes.
But I haven't said anything back to you yet.
Because you are a ghost and this isn't real.
The bottom line is that...we just don't know each other anymore.
I was never special but you made me think I was when you picked me from all the stars.
I never knew you could make me feel over the moon until you hugged me tenderly.
I never imagined that my dreams would come true until you came to me.
But now you have shown me how replaceable I am.
And without you..
I think I've lost everything.
Standing by the bridge Which was old
Once,young couples cherished memories of gold.
Was she lovelorn?
But dosent matter,she's all torn,
As her fairy kingdom was forlorn.
Ssshhh!!!! Can't u hear her whimpe
Helpless and unable to go with nature's sync.
Gazing at the nature fille sat dusquietted ,
The melancholic morbid was reflected.
The doleul rivers all in flood,
She sobbed years of blood .
The sun shunned its light,
Birds forgot its flight.
The grey sky shook the earth,
Dejected she rejected this birth,
EMBRACING the river and questioning her worth.
If you tell me what I can and can’t read. I will break up with you.
If you forget to introduce me to people you know, repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly, to the point where I wonder if you realise I’m here or I wonder if it hasn’t even occurred to you that I’ve become a blur of me and every other girl you’ve been fucking prior to me and you can’t remember which fuck has been introduced. I will break up with you.
If you say before sex “just get it over with” I will break up with you.
If you say you love my butt, before you say you love me. And then you quickly say “oh no I love you too” I will fucking break up with you.
If you say the book you’re writing is the most important thing in the whole world in your life. You will be broken up with.
If you blame me for not being on my best socialising game for your birthday while I’m in chronic pain. I will break the fuck up with you.
I wish you were the type of person I could still want. Cuz I thought you were and I really wanted that person.