Riot 17h

I don’t want to die anymore,
I just don’t know how to exist.
Why hello my dear friend

Darkness, you’ve paid me
Another visit.

Oh god

Staring at the deep blue ocean sky,
pictures came right into my woeful eyes.
Happiness and memories entwined
as I reminisce those times you were still mine.

Lying in warm fresh grasses again,
I thought of things once again.
Figuring out how those moments we usually ain
vanished as if those were never gained.

The time I met you, the moment I saw you;
it was the moment I felt love is doubtlessly true.
Yet time passes and felicities vanish,
I suddenly changed into someone foolish.

Crying and flinching from the pain you gave
for this day is just too jovial to behave.
I can’t mend the pain, I cannot relieve the ache,
for I am still hoping that someday you would give
the answer in “why did you leave?”

she breaks like this,
you just don't know it.

she breaks at 9 am in the dairy lane
of the nearest grocery store with
a list of what to buy and of what
to regret.

she breaks when she laughs but
it just doesn't seem right even
when the joke is so bad it's good
or her.

she breaks as she makes a call
people probably don't expect
because it's just out of the blue
and isn't her at all.

she breaks when the sun has risen
and her skin glows golden and radiant
she'd fix herself breakfast and it's the only
thing she'll attempt to fix.

she breaks when you tell her you love her
and as you treat her with revelation
but the only thing she thinks about
is how her body betrayed her.

she breaks when they call her 'pretty'
and maybe she'll appear flustered
they don't know her mirrors back home
makes her heart recoil.

she breaks when you don't see it
because she doesn't want you to
at all.

she breaks and you won't have a clue
because she doesn't even know that
she is.

lately i've been writing a lot to cope with what i feel and what i observe from around me.

she breaks, but she's alive. for her that's more than enough.
Sanny 3d

And he hurt her over and over again.

Instead of saying Sorry, he said I love you.

She fell for it everytime.

But after awhile those words lost meaning.

His actions didn't match the words.

She started to crave something else, an apology.

An apology she never got.

That's what finally made her leave.

To live loving someone who was never sorry for breaking her.

your eyes shone brightly,
exactly the way you craved him to look at you.
unfortunately, he doesn't.

you thought your palms are minuscule and warm,
just the way you fantasized it to fit with his cold hand.
unfortunately, he mentioned that it is frigid.

you apologized for everything you have done,
unlike him, you did nothing wrong.
unfortunately, he was too heartless to notice.

you devote all of you,
expecting and believing he does, too.
unfortunately, he doesn't and he never will.

his last words, describing himself, before he left

thought we were meant to be, but glad to know we couldn't converge.
Malak S 5d

My mind and heart are in constant battle
I'm always trying to figure out who to settle, into an issue
I've made a decision
My mind, I'm sticking with
My heart, this isn't worth my
My mind's telling me to leave.
To pick up and go and run to a faraway land where there's no you or her or us or we
Everything seems too heavy, lately
I'm waiting for my heart to wave the white,
I'm waiting for it to give up the fight
The world needs no fragile hearts
This world is pure red.
Flaming hot ready to devour everything and anything in its direction.
I'm waiting.
I'm waiting for them to make up.
I need my mind and my heart to decide
Do I pick up, leave or,
Fight for what I believe
But what is it that I believe?
You and her and us and we
I don't think any of this can be
Give up once and walk away
I'm sorry but I'm in no place to stay,
Where I'm no longer needed.  
I am human with a body and soul
And a mind and heart that are always competing
I have to love myself but,
Myself doesn't love me very much, this evening
I want my mind to allow my heart to wallow in secret
But I need to have them both,
In agreement
I can't struggle for those who leave and,
I can't break for those who don't appreciate it
I need to mend my heart and protect my mind
I'm in total control of the happiness I come up with
I'll drown myself in self love until I find an exit

If you feel broken
You need to break the force that
Is pinning you down

Her heart breaks
It bleeds, it pains, it seers
How she misses the tears she cried that accompanied her silent prayers
Night disappeared into morning with her shallow cries, her hopeful sobs, her unbearable heartaches
Memories she wishes she could erase
Time she wishes she could retrieve, relive and rediscover all over again
Being whole never meant being afraid
Fear never brought with it happiness
Not alone but lonely
Never scared but afraid
Pinned down by her own unhappiness
Brought to the mercy of her own happily never after
But not destroyed
She will rise victorious
She will learn to breathe again
She will fight to survive
She will smile again
She will love again
And again
And again
Guarded heart and mended spirit
She will love again

he wouldn't show his scars
neither a glimpse of his mind

he wouldn't let her in
because he's too damn scared to fall

or it's all about her;
he fears she'll be the one to fall

and if she did,
he'll leave her
and simply
break her heart

because it's too heavy
of a feeling
to carry around

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