left our things cratering the desert; palms upturned pulling the pressure away - soft-words talking down the crumpled spine of loss. the sand, the sand. if it wasn’t so fine, would you be able to trust the mistaking of abrasion for absolution? will you be able to forgive the belief that a collapse can come with good intentions?
I'm feeling like I could break before I have my breakthrough Traversing through the grey of everyday is no way to, get through So then tell me, what do I do? An eerie silence the only thing I'm hearing come through But the silence of my darkness doesn't phase me, what scares me is the blue
I wish heartbreak came with a manual. But honestly, would it even help? I imagine it would be contradicting and maybe go something like this: "You may experience the feeling that you are walking away from the rarest love you'll ever experience... But don't you worry, because even if you stay a little longer, eventually you'll convince yourself you don't love them anymore, just enough to finally end it. Give it a week. Oh, there it is... You feel that? THAT feeling is the numbness wearing off and only remembering the happy parts." Or some ******* like that. Probably nothing that specific though... Only enough to have the majority relate. I imagine the narrator would sound overly enthusiastic...Which is hilariously inappropriate ... But, really, is it that hilarious?
I thought getting older and having experience in dating would result in all of this **** becoming less confusing... But it really just feels worse every time for me. At the end, I couldn't even differentiate the pain and anger from the source. Did he create this suffering? Was it my reaction that set the course? Was this all in my head and I was just overeacting? Or was I justified to feel this ******? Even if I was justified, would it have even made a difference? It really got lost in translation, and I feel like I got lost in identifying that. Was this a hypnotic trance from narcissism manipulating the narration or was it using my reaction as an excuse to self-sabotage? I just want to know what really happened. I think that's the scariest part. Am I so broken, I convince myself it was them? Well, ****. What are you still reading for? I don't have the ******* answer.
the pain the abrasions the bruises nothing like a brain that’s been rattled the constant cycle of tragedies has me sinking deeper in despair it’s like god has decided i’ve not believed in him for too long. like the world has set in stone my demise for all the sins and decisions I didn’t know any better than to make. the pain accumulating at every step all I ever wanted was a break to breathe.