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L 1d
who knows if

this is just a game for you

whether your coming and going

like shuffling cards

will deal me out

when your fun is over



am I just

a constant

something to carelessly toss

like dice

unsure of the result

only caring for the thrill of the moment



is it love,

my love?

or is it just a gamble?
A promise I make
Believe in resolutions
Maybe, maybe not
To make or break...
      Break...
Maybe yes
       Easy
A rebel at heart right from the start

A promise I make
To my thoughts
They shall be worded
Maybe...  maybe not

And
I shall keep
The promise I make
Laura 1d
I can't deny what I felt
I never will deny what I felt
Because that was
The best ******* love
I ever had
I just wish
You had been ready
I wish
You could have accepted it all
Because nobody
Will love you
The way I did
And you threw that away
You threw me away
And as much as I would love
To say I regret it all
To say I hate you
To say I wish it never happened
To say I'd take it all back
I can't
Because I can't deny what I felt
When we were in love
When you loved me back
I knew i was making
A mistake
A huge one
Going through all that
For just a guy
Is ******
Everyone told me that
I just didn't wanna listen
I was distracted
I needed that
But not anymore
Time to wake up again
And leave
Before i break my own heart
Again.
-Oy
.20.Jan.2019.
I can't say
I want to go
Actually i don't want to at all
But it's wrong
To stay
To break my own heart
Over something ******
Over a meaningless fling
At least that what i am to you
Right?
You don't want anything
You're using me
For pleasure
I was too
But i like you now
And you don't care about that
So i got to leave
To save myself
Some dignity
If there's any left
-Oy
.20.Jan.2019.
I dreamt of you last night

When I woke up the next day

The sky was ablaze

And for a moment I could see the future...

We were always destined to go down in flames.
After days of fighting again, of going round and round and circles... I woke up to the most beautiful, burning, sunrise... the orange clashing with the pinks in the most beautiful and chaotic way. Inspired by the sky, I accepted he was never going to change his ways... the friendship was never going to change and always end and restart the same way like it has... with damaging words and unforgiving flames from the fires he was always lighting.
Together forever
is something
we say.
But do things
really work that way?
Or is it
one little thing
that breaks us apart,
and we never
come back together
the way
we were
at the start?
They were walking
Infront of me
Normally
He moved closer
Their hands touched
Their fingers tangled
My stomach filled
My heart ached
My kind gave up
My soul
Is nowhere to be found
.21.Aug.2018.
I  heard the voice of silence
tormenting my soul
with spirits of nothingness
each day switching sentience
into my heart screaming
quiet in the shade of melancholy.
©shadeofalonelygirl
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