Carter Jul 10

As I drag through life on my knees, bleeding
I try to unlock the chains that pin my body down
And while I cannot find every key to free me from the weight
I have learned strength and endurance
and other tricks to ease my journey

Though the years I have hashed my blood onto paper
Smiling as my emotions bled into the clean sheets
Forcing the purity of the page to match my damaged and dirty soul
Yet I have never thought to cut out my darkest experience

Instead, it swims within my stomach's acidic pool
Remaining dormant until a thought or melody claws at its bones
Until it can no longer be contained

So I begin ripping through my lungs and intestines
Simply trying to locate the source of the misery
As it torments both my body and mind

And by my own hands,
The acid spills into the crevasses of my muscle and bone
Sizzling through the structures on contact
Until I no longer recognize the dead stare reflecting off of metal and glass
And so I destroy them by using them
To destroy whatever shambles of my body remain

As I sit in a puddle of blood and feel the air ticking away like seconds on a clock
I smell the familiar perfume of death, nestled with regret

I promised myself that,
if I somehow survive another night,
I will try to face the thickest chains that bind me tighter than ever before
Those that continue to stain the ground with my past and
Refuse to let me stand without fear

And so I begin

This is the first poem in a collection I'm doing about an extremely hard topic that I've never wrote about before but I hope writing can help me face my demons. Because poetry has helped me through so many other problems, I hope it can with this too

The World is full of
Little Dictators
When there is a Terrorist Attack
At a Pop Concert in England
People act as if they're so  shocked,
But we practice SO MUCH Censorship
SO MUCH "Political Correctness".
So many INNOCENT things
Are suppressed.
It's no wonder
That MORE people
Aren't "Walking Time Bombs".

I shared a very respectful photo of People in Papua New Guinea with a Denver Indigenous Events Group. Maybe, they thought it was "porn". People are so full of shame and censorship that it's remarkable that Terrorist Organizations aren't the ONLY Organizations that can succeed!

The more people are held down,
The more they rise up
And do a lot of damage
As they explode.

Regina had been a good,
Churchgoing girl
Her entire life,
At the age of 27,
Religion had begun to feel as if she suffocating
And she was dying to have
Some sexually explicit photos
Taken of herself.
She recited all the prayers.
She passed the plate to collect donations.
She even taught Sunday School
For a while,
All along,
She had been denying
The animal within her.
She was gonna' get raunchy on camera
And throw off the yoke of repression!
She didn't give a fuck
Any more!

CautiousRain Apr 23

Remember this,
but I can't be sure,
if I spoke to him or not,
if I left my door unlocked,
if I lost my books upstairs,
if I started what I needed,
if I even brushed my hair
because my mind refuses stimulus
and all I know is that it clears,
everything from my memories
leaving me in a haze, protecting me from something,
experiences I can't remember why I fear,
making it harder to rationalize my emotions,
as if I needed more paranoia
if I could remember
what he said to me,
when I closed myself off,
when I left my guard down,
when I began noticing these trends,
when I stopped caring if I was okay,
and all I know is nothing
from what stings,
leaving me all alone in a horrible fright
of thoughts I can't resurface.

rip me, gotta love when you actually cannot remember events and then go into this spiral of doubting any of your emotions having validity because you ACTUALLY CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING- I woke up from a nap the other day and couldn't remember anything I did that day at all, nothing, not even if I had gone to class or ate

You are all repression
and denial and avoidance
in the face of anything
not ideal
because the alternative is
self hatred
And we both love
too much to prioritise
your happiness
and do you see now
this is killing me

She was dying for Attention,
But was unwilling to entertain comments
For her intellectual or physical Exhibitionism.
It seems as if she was trying to provoke

Feminists clash with Misogynists
Yang versus Yang
Tempers flare as Temperatures rise.
Not a cool breeze in sight.
It's a Factional Fight
We like to think
We're  and advanced and progressive
But the World
Ain't so sexy any more.

Your remarks have been censored!
Your remarks have been banned!
Your remarks have been erased from the official records!
Do you remember
What you said?

It's hard to remain enthusiastic
About participating in Society
When the primary objective
Is to "keep people in their place".
They give you the freedom to do some things you enjoy
As long as they remain in control.

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