I can't wait to feel you inside me,
Feels like we're meant to be,
All talk of rain and thunder,
Is beginning to make me wonder,
What'll I really feel
When you capture my eyes for real?

Making love in the rain is my fantasy,
In the rain and on the terrace would be ecstasy,
You feel my goosebumps all over you,
That's the weather's work, is that you too?

I wonder if you'd let me work
If you saw me naked with nothing but a smirk,
I look at my bullet and know for sure,
I want something else to adore,
Come to me soon,
Make love to me till noon

Time your fingers met my hair,
It's craving for a dare,
To see if you can show it more care,
Than I do with my time spare

Pull it as you ****** in me,
Hear me moan as you set me free...
As long as I'm here,
You've nothing to fear.

Your tool may measure to be a big number,
Nothing I can't handle, let's start with your finger..
Show me your skill,
Before it's time to fill..

I'm all yours
Want me on all fours?

A moment of silence
Will not change history
Will not bring back the dead
Will not replace tragedy with victory

A moment of silence
Will not reverse events
Will not restore security
Will not resend tears

A moment of silence
Is only to remember
What life was like before
We lost our patience
We gave up our hopes
We lost trust in our faith
And decided –
Segregation is the way to world peace
Separation is the way to independence
Solitude is the way to heal

I stand before my mirror today
Drawing on my eye line with a black pencil
Adding weight to the lashes that protect my eyes
Shading my lips to a hue that is not my own
Knowing, that my true colors beneath all application
Will be judged against my character
Will be imposed with expectations against my vision
Will be depended on with no gratitude
Will be compared to stereotypes of ideals

I would like to take a moment of silence
Today and everyday
To accept who I am
To recognize what I once was
To let myself grow

This moment of silence will guide me
Today and everyday
To dream with my eyes wide open
To realize who I need to become
To find the hero within me

I am taking this moment of silence
To create history, instead of become
To live before I die
To reform my failures into victories

I am taking this moment of silence
To live this day with many new beginnings
To trust myself to recreate security
To replace tears with courage

This moment of silence
Could take my breath away
But I will stand still
For our saviors would do the same

Tu mera dil (you are my heart),
Tu meri jaan (you are my life),
Jaan-e-jaan (the life of life)…

Here I am, awaiting rain
Awaiting a band of colours
To shimmer upon these eyes in pain
To clink into these ears disdained
To delight this mind of fears, memoirs and shame

There you are, it is you
You embody all the colours
Within the rainbow of my imagination
Within the verses of this ovation
Within the message carried in my creation

The power of doubt
Corners me, I wander about
I look at the sky for answers
When the sky’s dropped you down to sing them out

Emcompassing sheer valour
Giftwrapped by your voice so tantric
I’ve come to terms;
There is only one colour –
– The colour of music.

I stand here
Awaiting your touch
Free me forever
From my crutch
Take me away
I’ll join you in your freedom
From days so achromatic
Preserved in an arboretum.

We don’t love like we used to love
What it meant to us is a blur now
The light has left behind everything
What’s remaining is still us, somehow

There were loads of games that we used to play
Along the way we lost each other
Our dreams turned into nightmares
So now, where is our ‘forever’?

Take a look at me – can you recognize me?
I used to be that bird only you could free
And now I’m singing my heart out for your mercy
‘Cause I still wanna be your somebody

You stayed quiet just to let me talk
Never spoke your mind, I’m dejected
How and why must I endure anymore,
When your heart and mine is connected

I need a light at the end of this tunnel
No pretending we’ve got it alright
When you won’t hear a single word from me,
How would you know if my heart cried?

Maybe I’m not as special as you first thought
But I still love you endlessly from my heart
Tell me we can go back there again and start
‘Cause I still wanna be your somebody

I could stare away
Into the night sky
And find kazillions of dreamers
Like me
My heart says
No need for goodbyes
For dreamers are born
To be free
If I could dream of anything...
...Anything
I would dream it over and over again
I would dream of my someone special
My fellow dreamer and my best friend

You can’t see the air around us;
It doesn’t mean you’re not breathing it.
I could lie on hot coal to show you;
If you want my wings instead, nothing else will fit.
Every note, every vibration,
Bears the fruit of your powerful mind.

If you truly wanted love and peace,
You’d be devotedly singing it out to mankind.
Honesty can be sweet, it can be brutal.
There’s nothing like facing your fear,
Afraid to discover the truth,
When like a fool, you treat trash talk so dear.

That tiny ray of light shining through,
Is for us, me and you to be reassured,
There is no pleasure, no gain, no good,
In the absence of what has to be endured.

We are made up
Of a thousand sparks
Of light that has the power
To outshine all the darkness
That ever existed.

Be not afraid
Of the darkness,
For the fire
Within us
Helps us discover
What our darkness
Has been hiding.

You once longed for that feeling
Now you have it

You once dreamed of the rosy side
Now you've passed it

You once felt alone
Now you have that person

You once thought of solving issues
Now you don't have control

You once thought you had everything
Now you do

You once said everything was nothing
Now you feel it

You once promised you'll be there
Now you can't keep it

You once wanted to restart
Now you can't change what's happened

I don’t want you to go fishing
For salmon, when you can get ray;
If you’re fast enough, you can shoot –
– A hook around a horse’s tail.

If you’re patient,
You could weave through the jelly’s glow,
Glimmering softness through each filament,
Calming your senses from morbid to mellow.

I don’t want you to go fishing
For make-believe, when you know it stings;
If you’re strong enough, hold on –
– Gills and fins are just as brave as wings.

If you’re yearning for more and more,
Boundaries are all you’ll see;
If you’re ready to stop waiting,
Why are you telling me?

Sweep my feet off the ground
Take me out of town
Fly me to the moon
Let me kiss off your frown

Fear not, we're way above the clouds
No one now can see us
Hold me, let's move to this tune
I want you to unleash your lust

For me... For me... For me...

I can feel you now
Don't be shy my love
Smile, you're well endowed
I can take it rough

You have me entangled with you
Can you tell I've waited for you? Do trust
Don't let go, I love you weaved onto me
I want you to unleash your lust

For me... For me... For me...

I want you to let go all over me...all over me...all over me...
Breathe in, my love, we're peaking insanity...peaking insanity....peaking insanity...
I know you want more of me
'Coz I'm making you want a whole lot more of me
I want you to take me, unwrap me like your gift of the night

Do it...

For me... For me... For me...

There is something deep inside me so strong
Emotions are rising and I want to know where you belong

I think of you and each time I do that, I miss you
Missing friends can't possibly be the new groove

You're beginning to mean more to me than a friend
It's you who taught me how to live life without risking a heart lend

I couldn't call for help, for my troubles were my own doing
I needed help, for my troubles brought tears I was in drowning

I never asked for help, but I knew I needed some
You stepped up to me and collected my pieces one by one

You did it because your heart is of a diamond kind
I let you do it as I was numb and only you could renew my mind

I've received many gestures and words from people who care
Without you around anymore, I feel like my heart has gone bare

The time I saw you last I couldn't tell you what you mean to me
You're gone now and you've taken with you a piece of me for eternity

For what it's worth, I cannot lie to myself anymore
You're already a part of me, and you'll know I'm lying for sure

My tears are now forming, waiting to trickle down like morning dew
My life will be incomplete if my future would have me away from you.

I ask you to do one thing
Pump blood around the body
The rhythm is key
For I live on the fitting melody

Fight if you must,
The pain is just the crust
Throughout all that is unjust
Success is at stake, as is my trust

But you betray me, while I fight
Deceive what feeds you day and night

How do you go on?
What gives you strength?
The way you work astounds me
I thought I was the labyrinth

To bind another with a spell
Do I fuel your power?
Or is it all just me myself and I
Ignorantly undercover?

If only one of us could live
Without sharing the shadows of the other
Then again, what is life all about
If we don’t cross the finish line together?

Good morning world
Open your eyes with a smile
Give your ears to the melodies of your heart

Listen to your heartbeat
It carries the rhythm of your soul
Feel your pulse and set your spirit free

Good morning world
Open your eyes with a smile
Wake up and hear the sound of love

The air is filled with music
Pause just a moment to breathe it
As you take it in you’ll hear the sound of love

Good morning world
Open your eyes with a smile
Give your ears to the melodies of your heart

Good morning world
Open your eyes with a smile
Wake up and hear the sound of love

He refuses to offer a piece of his heart
'Cause he can't trust it'll be kept unbroken
He keeps his feelings belted smart
Chances for new emotions left untouched and unspoken

He offers his rut, fresh and mastered
Decides it's the best and most he wants for now
The heart that's growing a case on him is being plastered
At the mere longing to exchange a loyalty vow

There is hope he will change and offer more
With no guarantee of his final choice for a future;
There is hope, at the depth of a bruised heart still sore
Longing to hold him close upon his merciful role as a suture.

Where is the rain
When my tears wanna flow away?
What good is sunshine
When my heart is full of grey?

Tell me why
Tell me how
Tell me when
Will the clouds form?

Tell me where to go
Where I can just hide my face

Where are my feathers?
I need them to show him
What lies beneath – every bit of –
Skin that’s trapping me

My eyes, his glare
My fingers through his hair
He wants more and more
But he can’t feel what I can feel

Tell me why
Tell me how
Tell me when
Will the clouds form?

Tell me where to go
Where I can just hide my face

Tell me now
Through tears of smiles
I just want this to be real

‘Coz I really do not want to hide my face...

Many beauties God has created
But less that have been worshipped
Nature is beautiful
Yet has its works to be adored

Step out to the blessing of this vision,
But don't step in too deep
For it will take you where you want to be,
But not in the way you want to go

Many a time we'll all like that joyous ride,
But let God take his time
For if we rush our journey,
We may land at our destination in devastation

A flower though it may seem,
The fragrance, the colour, the sensitivity
Thorns though many don't see,
That which protects its own beauty

A mountain with sweet springs
And a snowy cap,
That which is surfaced with ice
To slip away from the glorious feature

The soft, yet sharp touch of air;
A fresh divine flow of its breeze
Swishes through a vast of unknown,
Leaving us to experience the holy discoveries

I face challenging situations,
I know it tests my character;
Its a part of personality development,
Previous experiences could’ve been sinister;

I’m Ambika Jois,
My soul is named thus whilst I reside in this body;
My purpose is transmitted through my voice,
Carrying peace, hope and love to everybody;

I’ve looked fear in the eye,
I’ve listened to doubt through these ears;
I’ve spoken lies with this tongue and –
I’ve touched what harms just as what heals;

These mistakes are just my teachers,
Guiding me through my learning curve ;
Day by day they’ve turned into healers,
And I’ve gone from giving my heart away to opening it to serve;

I’ve made decisions,
I’ve made difficult ones;
Some were totally right,
others were quite wrong;

They affected me greatly,
Yet today if I fall I am fit for survival;
'Coz my words may have held negative definitions,
But I, the soul, have got nothing to do with it – no denial;

I am a soul,
My qualities are love and peace;
My body is just an instrument,
This is what I believe;

I’m positive, if you see me so;
I’m negative, if you see me so;
I am beyond what can be seen,
I am beyond what I have ever before been.

I am Ambika Jois
I’m a soul chosen to play with zeal;
Without this essence of mine,
Non-existent will my connectivity be.

I bear water in service
Like a tree bears its bark
I stand by hope
Until my faith makes the mark
I search for answers
The more I know, the less I know
Everything is a mystery to me
But the water that guides me.

If I were not me,
I'd be a girl born into a pseudo reality.
I'd be blind, looking for darkness,
Deaf, searching for music,
Mute, singing for the broken.

I'd have a heart made of stone,
Carved with timeless impossibilities.
A compelling pulse rate,
That moves me in rhythm.
I'd have a mind that opens up to fear alone.

If I were not me,
I'd be a reflection;
Of all that I wish
I could be.

If you and I were friends as kids,
You'd have carried my long skirt wherever I went.
You'd have been my personal assistant,
And I would've been your queen 100 percent.

If you and I were friends as kids,
I'd have gotten you into so much trouble.
I wouldn't have realized how wrong I was,
But I'd have come back for you with affection doubled.

If you and I were friends as kids,
I wouldn't have feared as my life started to fall apart.
I would've come to you to hide in our secret place,
And begged you to not tell before I'd have been dragged to depart.

If you and I were friends as kids,
I'd have remembered you everyday that I was away.
I'd have embraced modern day technology,
To track you down and meet you again in our secret place.

If you and I were friends as kids,
I'd have caused you enough trouble to never forget me.
Whether you were awake or asleep,
You would've always known that only I can ever be your queen.

It's where I'm meant to be,
But you're standing in my way.
You're not a harmful subject,
Yet you're not asking me to stay.

It's where I'm meant to be,
My heart said it's the only way.
You're standing before me,
Turning my mind into your clay.

It's where I'm meant to be,
I thought my final signs were screaming.
At me, of course, who else?
You're standing there listening and watching.

It's where I'm meant to be,
I thought God finally heard my call.
My call to Him was not for you, but for a path,
The one you're still standing in strong and tall.

It's where I'm meant to be,
For how much more must I pray?
You're still my growing obstacle,
Hey Ganesh, lost options for games to play?

It's where I'm meant to be,
I call the place my mother, my home.
You're there standing like a sacred idol,
Hey Ganesh, please make your message to me, more known.

I want to be your guitar
Run your fingers over my fret board
Pluck my strings and give me my melodious avatar
Sing to me and play that major chord

I’m feeling your song through and through
You don’t need a plectrum, you’re a born original
Work your rhythm baby, let’s get on the groove
Your fingers are enough to create our music wholly attritional

I will reward you myself for how you release my tension
I will resonate our love song through longevity
You’re a prodigal performer, I can feel you in tune with locomotion
We will move from verse to chorus under no shadow of ambiguity

I want to be your guitar
Let my moans reverberate off your walls
A finer touch for our creativity – a sitar
Let’s Indioul our way through these musical waterfalls

I know there’s a different world.
I am on the counter-realm.
I am not meant to be here –
– I belong in the other realm.

My realm, my light,
My colours, my night..
My moon, my tide,
My heart, my mind…

I would unfold my arms
I would reach out to the sky
I could touch the pink clouds,
And the blue, purple, even the shimmering white

The stars quadrupled just for my eyes
The night sky holding no darkness
A dream on its own, above me
The moon so close, igniting my senses

The water never too deep,
Never lacking this fantasy shade;
While I think the dream is up above,
I look at the water – perfection of balance God made

This fantasy one man created
Turned into my much longed-for reality
In search I journeyed for eleven years
Today, realizing – Freedom to dream is my destiny.

For the one
Who makes me melt,
Makes me feel warm,
And always makes me smile…

I kiss you with moist lips
They stick to yours
Like poetry on a melody, perfect fit
My heart opens up like unlocked doors

My thoughts float about
Worries all out of reach
No space for fears and doubt
As our spirits surrender to a kiss each

My shoulders feel sedated
My arms feel light
My winged feet have me levitated
As we share this one kiss tonight

Me holding you, you holding me
A grip so assuring you’ll never let go
Not a tornado or storm at sea
Could stand in the way of our love flow

Oh I am scared alright
Of what could happen tomorrow
But I can't decide -
Do I fight, accept the sorrow?

All this noise inside me
Sounds like the ending
Am I now free,
Or is this just beginning?

Warped into a vortex
To the point of no return
Black hole or oblivion
Every part of me is burnt
Have mercy on me
I've never come this far before
I don't know who I am anymore
Have mercy, have mercy on me.

Let me feel the good you're feeling
I don't know you're smiling
Can't you see me crying
What answer do you see in me?

She hides her face in shame
She knows I'm capable of judging her pain
She clouds her eyes and cries on me
She tells me I should dance in her tears happily

You'd think I'd be enjoying her agony
My feet won't move unless I'm in her company
She pours her heart out and asks me to bear it
I'm no better, I send both our tears down to Mother Earth's merit

She sure does have a lot of problems
My efforts flow one-way, struggling to bear these showers in tandem
She delegates to me a flood to resolve
I hide where claustrophobia hits me with the mercy of a single valve

Crouching for protection, I breathe deep and myself I hug
My heart beats fast in excitement for change and a love bug
I look up standing defeated and smile as she sends me many more a tear
Oh, Mother of the Skies; She rains on me, determined to wash my mind clear

While the world slept,
My father stayed awake.
With all his might left,
He stayed just for my sake.

He sang to me,
Patted me to sleep.
I could feel his eyes on me
Watching me breathe.

I remember being in his arms,
On his lap as a baby
Holding him tight with my charms,
He’d say I was his little lady.

I grew up, I grew tall and I grew
Stronger, weaker, colder, warmer
There my father stood as he knew
I’m a handful, but I’ll always remain his loving daughter.

Look into my eyes
They widen and glisten
I can show you the elders’ cries
Through sight, you must listen

Take my hand and walk
Soles silently cringe
Walk on but no talk
What you see is a matrix fringe

Curl your fingers together
Feel the icing on the tangible
Clear your throat, it’s fever
Of frill and lust, the dispensable

Can you see?
Can you hear?
Can you feel?
Speak with yourself –
It is no super than I.

The whispers from the moon
From rabbit’s supper to a drone
Akin to a butterfly from a cocoon
Echoes the sound of ‘Om’

Take a seat, float, know tranquil
Look behind, in front, anywhere
The silence is what remains still
Though entities exist everywhere

Can you see?
Can you hear?
Can you feel?
Speak with yourself –
It is no super than I.

Those birds that sit on the grid wires
It’s how they like to start their day
Waiting snugly for the sun to rise
Are they owls? I cannot say.

The sun is rising, warm and calm
An orange hue, only of the rising kind
The rays touch my skin like a soothing balm
Extracting layers of pain from my mind.

Yesterday was a new day
It somehow turned its back on me
Today is another new day
A new chance for my mind to be free.

I perceived you only as I could
I saw you for what you were
You were an innocent being, of all
You never saw coming what caused the stirs

Your purity won my heart
Among all senses, there was my seventh
That awakened me every night and day –
My rationale, my core’s filament.

I have always been myself
I’ve carried myself with care
Once I am told that I do not belong
My heart, mind and spirit are all stone and bare.

I have seen and faced many heavens
With my hands, fingers, lips and conscience
I have been all that there is to be
From devoutly hopeful to hopelessly incontinent.

In your name, I have set myself free numerously
My zeal faded each time, as my fetters clinked
I know I became your entire world, but did you at all know –
You were my cage, within which I fluttered incessantly to fly out and sing?

I need you to leave my sin list,
Only one way to rid you out;
I'm not asking for much, I insist,
Just forgive me, don't cry or shout;

I can amend the past,
But I can't turn back time;
Please forgive me, this one's the last,
You're a sin I can't hold forever as mine.

You're happy though it was I who sinned,
I'm incomplete though it was you who left;
No time like now to revive my heart that's thinned,
Be fair and forgive me, it's my turn to widen my clefts.

Fragility is the membrane
As peace is the crux
Our constant search for the latter
Devotes our journey through flux

Keys do not build
Doors, signs or the floor
Keys only open doors
That we build to hide much more

Within these doors hold grounds
For scents and aromas beyond mankind
It merely is a part of our universe;
Finding resemblances is a game of our mind

Locking doors to banish our demons
From flowing, entering and ruling
Reminds us that we must unlock frequently
To invite our guardians patrolling

Without a crack or two
What light are we letting in?
The descent may be filled with darkness
But we are our torch, shining from deep within