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Jan 2015 · 1.2k
Writing It All Down
it's ok Jan 2015
Writing It All Down
Through the eyes of a hopeful child,
the world can seem so cruel

The brand new 13 year old,
Sawing at their skin because
"Things are so hopeless."

Whatever, she's been filling scarlet napkins two years prior
She wondered if there would ever be a true friend

There's a 14 year old, she thinks she knows who she can trust
So she drinks herself unconscious,
Crying about everything to the ones she trust.
A year later,
when she's gotten her skin torn into by ink,
they all give up on her
and she's back to talking to a knife.

There's a 17 year old who feels so used,
Trusts two people
Can't wait to move out,
but money isn't too nice
Her dreams seem out of reach
but her scars seem to be healing
thoughts of dying happen less and less

Things have been crashing down since day one.

A 20 year old just moved away,
year two of college.

Feels invincible, and maybe one day
she won't hate herself.
Looking towards the future
For constant reassurance
Continue reading...
Dec 2014 · 503
Through It All
it's ok Dec 2014
Through It All
Maybe I'll be okay in the end.
I broke a lot of rules to feel alive,
Built my walls up high, just to wish for love
I'm still so fragile, but I was never molded from stone
Perhaps this is only the beginning, and maybe
I'm only learning how to stand
Still, I can hope that in the end,
it all gets strung together.
I need something to make sense, for once.
#love #life #need #future #high #glass #fragile #stone #walls #needing
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Dec 2014 · 999
Oh No, Here We Go Again
it's ok Dec 2014
Oh No, Here We Go Again
I feel good, I feel like if I could find you, we could kiss all night
I think you'd like that version of me,
I think you'd love me with no clothes
I want to reveal who I never was to you,
I want to make you blush, get you drunk on not just alcohol
And we could kiss all night
I won't dare
Feel
A
Thing
Because I won't fall apart, oh no no no
#love #kiss #drunk #stupid #be #*** #blush #numb #everything #emotionless
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Dec 2014 · 749
Tired and Angry. Good Morning.
it's ok Dec 2014
Tired and Angry. Good Morning.
I want to get out
if I get woken up by the screams of my mother,
drunk or hungover
one more time,
I'm going to lose my ******* mind!
It's the same thing at 3 A.M, and in the morning
I've got some real ****** friends
She stopped talking to me over the summer
and they all let me fall into feeling worthless
Now they're back in my life, and I could not care less about them
My friends, they're real winners!
They'll **** the love and energy right out of me,
make me feel horrible any time I say what I feel
Like I don't matter? Like I shouldn't be there at all!?
I used to be left behind, but now I drive everyone around.
I had some time to think about how my family could go broke,
but here we are, driving a bunch of ungrateful kids around,
and for what in return?! I get their company?
Ha. Like that's worth anything.
I'm just so tired of this town.
Full of people who will break you,
There's really only one person worth staying here for.
Nope, it's not my best friend.
I'm just so tired of false security.
I want to get out
and
rebuild myself
Oh but I'm much too young,
much too tired from the chaos
#of #*** #town #out #get #venting #lot #vent #security #rebuild
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Dec 2014 · 777
Flesh Wound
it's ok Dec 2014
Flesh Wound
I'm going to tear my skin apart
And I'm going to spill my guts,
The world will know how vulnerable I am,
Then they'll break my bones,
Maybe they'll feed me to the coyotes
"What a shame!" "Such a loss!" They'll scream,
They'll yell about everything I could've conquered,
while they're pinning my flesh down,
for all my worse scars to go on display

Oh society, do me a favor, and **** the standards.
#loss #society #shame #skin #vulnerable #favor #standards #spill #guts #coyotes
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Dec 2014 · 879
Fire
it's ok Dec 2014
Fire
Push me away, pull me close.
It doesn't matter, cause the walls are made of fire,
and I just sorta figured we could go down in flames
Thinking about the things that I will never let happen
and maybe laugh a little, and cry a little
And regret that we ever let ourselves feel trapped
#sad #fire #cry #thinking #*** #laugh #push #walls #pull #little
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Nov 2014 · 1.1k
Crazy
it's ok Nov 2014
Crazy
I break my words, lost my world
Twisted over the days and took baths too long
My selfishness overcame who I ever was,
and I could keep spiraling down into self pity
I thought "It doesn't matter, I shouldn't worry about me."
When I realized I should be the first to worry about me,
and I should worry about me first.
Everything has been so eye opening, but now I can't stop to
close my eyes and escape from the confusion and rage
I wish it all could just stop,
So I can relive the days
when I cared about the sunrise,
and my eyes were so much brighter
#sad #worry #eyes #past #me #sunrise #relive
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Sep 2014 · 217
7 a.m.
it's ok Sep 2014
7 a.m.
I'll run through the streets, jumping in front of cars
I need a rush and a better way to feel
This is my own personal war.
I'm determined to win more than ever.
Continue reading...
Sep 2014 · 522
Untitled
it's ok Sep 2014
Untitled
I wanna impress you,
but I don't want to lose myself
I've been on my own for so long
I keep telling myself I can stay like this
But I feel so ridiculous with invincibility
Itching on my skin, knowing you can't possibly
feel the same?
I blush and I try to go numb again but
What use is it?
I'm losing my mind.
Continue reading...
Aug 2014 · 1.9k
Fast Cars
it's ok Aug 2014
Fast Cars
Driving all night into red skies
We'll feel so alive when the sun comes up
And the morning air turns our blood so cold and warm
Settle at a hotel because we got another 800 miles to go
I just want to stay like this forever,
I never want to leave who I am because
We got it made, and the nights we stay awake
Wishing this would never end, we'll run out of gas
And we know it's all okay because we have each other
Seems it'll never end,
All over the east coast we'll throw our own parties
Breaking all the rules, we could stay this young forever
and own the store parking lots skating on buggies
Escaping to paradise to start all over again
Well, we know we got it made
#end #happy #alive #never #car #trip #road #rules #highway #buggy
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Aug 2014 · 633
Autumn Is Near (Seasonal Sadness)
it's ok Aug 2014
Autumn Is Near (Seasonal Sadness)
Where I live, the cold doesn't always bring smiles.
Sweet summer sweat drains,
Then the leaves change to bright colors
Fighting the contrast against the dreary grey clouds

Where the leaves cover the ground, they turn the soil darker
The grass yellows, and cracks under your feet

And when it rains 60 inches of rain in your town a year,
Cold rain is exactly what you get instead of snow.

Oh and I get so weak with no sunlight

My friends all love the cold,
They embrace it.
My friends all love the darkness,
They'll share a drink with it.


But when the cold comes for me,
I try to hide underneath my coats
When the darkness comes for me,
I lose my sense of time and sleep

I get so weak
oh man, this is a completely random poem, but I figured I'd share my distress that summer is almost over.
#depression #fall #summer #winter #weak #darkness #spring #seasons #cold #autumn
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Aug 2014 · 1.1k
Just Friends
it's ok Aug 2014
Just Friends
You became the best thing in my life,
So I held onto you tight
throughout all the late nights
We could run through the back roads,
Stomping on our shadows, because we're so bright
You were my favorite person this time around
I don't know how to stand these days, weeks, or years anymore

Lay on the rocks and blast some louder heavy metal
Fall asleep with dreams of highways winding through the east coast
We shook from the coffee,
We smiled with the darkest eyes and borrowed energy

People gave us strange looks and we respond with disinterest
No more staying calm
No sleep for days, but we're ******* happy
and it was so surreal,
But we had to say goodbye.

I don't even know where to go anymore,
because every long drive is now just waiting to get where I'm going
Drunk nights and drinking games aren't the same
and I can't seem to find a friendship as spontaneous as ours
I just can't let you go, because I love you so much
But you've gone too far for me to pull you back
#sad #sleep #coffee #friendship #you #memory #drinking #who #were #roadtrip
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Jul 2014 · 869
Until the end, my friend.
it's ok Jul 2014
Until the end, my friend.
It's not the way the problem is caused,
But rather who caused it
It's not the subject of the problem,
But if you're willing to overlook it depending
"Friend or foe" till you find a finite fiend smiling
May your conflictions rest, and leave yourself to figure out

Is the person you love, still the person you love?
or are you in love with the memories and a shell
of someone you once loved
*Is goodbye a little closer, now?
#not #friend #the #its #but #way #is #problem #rather #caused
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Jul 2014 · 505
Always sad never sober
it's ok Jul 2014
Always sad never sober
nights like these the stars and fireflies look all the same
and my days become my dreams
well I learned where to go, but never where to stand
and I can't take a break from the world's weight leaning on me
because I am barely crawling through this life
but that's not the way this should be spent

No one would bother to read between the lines
I am and I was always be washed up
can't speak the way I never have
and I can only think to think less about my words
speaking with a heavy heart to throw away the sun

we learned what love is, but never how to feel it
and some people will never know
#stars #the #and #like #fireflies #all #nights #look #these
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Jun 2014 · 432
I'mSorry/I'mSorry/I'm sorry.
it's ok Jun 2014
I'mSorry/I'mSorry/I'm sorry.
The words that were never said
Could have brought so much joy,
if I hadn't forgotten how to say them

and I feel like I'm on a roller coaster
that scares you and you can't get off
no matter how much you yell at the carney

realization sets in that I'm wasting away,
and I'll fall apart

I didn't mean to complain about this town,
or my friends
I just couldn't see with such selfish eyes

I figured if I tried hard enough,
the world would be handed to me.

Never ever did I think I'd be trying to remember
all the names of the people I've kissed

all this time spent trying to help everyone and myself
i'm going insane
I don't want to disappoint anyone,
but I let the sadness eat me alive
and I can't go outside without feeling like
the sky is mocking me with its constant brightness and darks

I don't know who I am,
but someone useless
Continue reading...
Jun 2014 · 657
new words{i've seen brighter}
it's ok Jun 2014
new words{i've seen brighter}
the days neglect to tell me how
I already know they won't wait for me
It's sad to think that for so many people,
happiness is not calling their name,
with the most alluring voice.
you thought about crawling on spikes
to distract yourself from the second sober fate
because you don't know how to cope,

as the sun shine glistens through your window,
you control your greed with paid freedom
as you read about happiness,
you're screaming you want to be free

there's a world outside that hardly waits anymore
we have to keep going, no matter how messy it is
well, you've been looking for a cure,
and I'm confident to say
if you suffer cheap sadness,
you will love the consequences

you are not a wreck to be proof

you are a person, uncomparable to objects

you are not to be fixed

and you are fine the way you are,
please realize this
i couldn't
#days #neglect #i #the #me #tell #to #know #how #already
Continue reading...
Jun 2014 · 310
careful
it's ok Jun 2014
careful
Speak to me like you're plotting everything,
Because to you, a few drinks might shed some skin
And if you stick some words to my skin,
you think charm will addict me to you,

please realize who is in control here,
because never ever will I have someone
deceive me as horribly as you're doing
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 1.9k
into/your/mind
it's ok May 2014
into/your/mind
simple enough
If I wanted to, I could
I could dissect every word
you ever said
Take off the fabric that surrounds--
I would never, I told you,

I want to taste your skin,
after it's been hung on the clothespin
in the sun too long
If you heard this, you'd take it the wrong way

you want to taste me
because that little kiss,
you knew what you were doing
and now your hands know every inch of me

so ******* now
#kiss #word #want #sun #in #of #hands #wrong #if #i #the #and #what #this #**** #too #could #you #me #on #skin #it #its #to #never #way #now #know #simple #so #were #that #enough #knew #ever #long #would #take #off #little #wanted #taste #every #told #your #because #said #been #heard #fabric #after #youd #doing #hung #inch #dissect #surrounds- #clothespin
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May 2014 · 370
bird in a cage
it's ok May 2014
bird in a cage
rib cages will engulf your heart
and shred it when it falls apart
until your lungs collapse
and you just can't sing anymore
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 10.7k
Social Media
it's ok May 2014
Social Media
It's so strange,
How I get so happy with
hundreds of people that I don't know
seeing the core of my thoughts
It's so very strange, because I'm so very shy
and if it was to be in the flesh
or on a stage
I'd be shaking
and trying to not let it show
but I don't see what's wrong when
about a thousand people see my thoughts
#social #media #happy #not #im #in #be #stage #of #thoughts #people #wrong #if #i #the #strange #and #on #*** #my #when #was #about #it #its #let #trying #core #to #but #know #so #get #that #see #shy #dont #how #with #seeing #show #flesh #because #or #whats #very #shaking #id #thousand #hundreds
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May 2014 · 875
We Don't Talk
it's ok May 2014
We Don't Talk
Because you gotta leave
and I have so many emotions
and you're busy all the time
and I'm bipolar and don't expect
you to deal with my lows
and you're bad at it
and I'd rather deal with myself
and you constantly tell me to take medication

We don't talk
because I don't want to look at you
and emotions numbed me
and you don't want to speak to me
and my lows are happening more and more
and it's scaring me
and you can't bother with me
because i don't want to deal with myself
so I'd rather drown myself in medication
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 580
waking up
it's ok May 2014
waking up
I wish I didn't remember last night
but I do and I feel so
I don't know
I want it out of my head
or to smash my head
has anyone else ever felt this way? I know it's a short and stupid poem, but I can't think right now.
#drunk #want #of #i #night #and #remember #wish #my #last #it #do #to #but #out #head #know #feel #so #dont #or #didnt #smash
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May 2014 · 379
Bitter Cold
it's ok May 2014
Bitter Cold
Did you wake up today,
To lay in your bed
and wonder
'what must it feel like,
to be happy?'
everyone has their down days
but everyone, including me,
needs to hear
'get the **** over it'
every now and then
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 2.3k
Up Above
it's ok May 2014
Up Above
The stars were once so friendly,
dancing with the moon to radiate on each
satellite, plant, galaxy solar system
The stars were once so bright,
But that was before they saw a bitter life form
And they dimmed a little
They met the city lights, and saw they were
least important with such beauty,
A planet with stars of it's own,
which lead the stars to dim enough
But then the far away suns noticed
Hatred, and the beloved planets
not being taken care of,
water sources being drained,
Fake satellites being place all over,
The forbidden moon having
Earth's stolen elements stabbed into
Planets hid, and now
All the stars are all a dot to twinkle
Still holding onto that last piece of illumination
and lately, the moon seemed a little dimmer
How many times
How will you write
About a glorious light
It's mighty bright
When will you realize
it's worse off than you
                                        Let me be when I stargaze
            The sky will look back at me and reminiscence
#sad #hatred #life #moon #fake #not #realize #of #beauty #stars #galaxy #away #the #are #forbidden #water #dancing #and #noticed #you #on #*** #piece #bitter #last #when #was #about #its #to #but #than #light #now #years #being #solar #system #still #over #all #so #were #important #form #write #they #beloved #times #care #that #city #enough #planets #once #how #planet #plant #will #met #with #then #place #off #bright #holding #into #little #stolen #worse #many #saw #lead #stabbed #dim #hid #lights #taken #such #far #radiate #wise #progress #drained #dot #elements #which #least #friendly #glorious #suns #each #mighty #before #satellite #illumination #having #onto #sources #satellites #lately #dimmed #earths #seemed #dimmer
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May 2014 · 10.0k
Orange Lipstick
it's ok May 2014
Orange Lipstick
I'll kiss your pillowcases to stain them
Cover them in orange lipstick
For you to remember my lips
and when you wash them,
if you manage to gracefully clean them
I'll let you forget me
and I'll forget you
#kiss #in #if #lips #forget #and #remember #you #me #my #when #let #for #to #ill #lipstick #cover #them #your #wash #stain #clean #orange #gracefully #manage #pillowcases
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 309
it's just venting
it's ok May 2014
it's just venting
only escaping problems
I'm sick of all my friends trying to convince me
they are the lifers with a rebellious touch
They're confidence mixes far too much with arrogance
sometimes
I wanted to be a little wild, so I changed my fashion
I wanted to discover, so I travel without my mom's permission
but I don't feel a thrill that people talk about
I feel absolutely nothing when I'm using foul language
and my emotions are surely blank when wind is going through
my hair in an 90 mph car,
I feel nothing but the arrogance beaming off of the driver
"trying to beat the speed limit"
and I guess I'm not good at much?
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 521
everything and numb
it's ok May 2014
everything and numb
how does she feel when she is numb
she never gave a boy a second glance,
never cared enough about love,
but around him she feels invincible
she blushes at the slightest touch
and she feels so stupid, she feels
so confused, because she doesn't
understand and she doesn't
need to accept where
her emotions are
running
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 298
Dizzy Reflection
it's ok May 2014
Dizzy Reflection
Where did you start and who are you now?
Looking in the mirror with a heavy heart.
You  believe you believe your importance never
never ran through someone's mind
but your vocal chords ring with the way you talk
and your throat rumbles with power when you speak
I want you to know me
and I want you to listen.
There's a place to start and there's a place to end,
it's not simple and the days seem like years sometimes
but it's always worth it in the end
Continue reading...
May 2014 · 4.3k
bittersweet
it's ok May 2014
bittersweet
I don't care to talk about the problems that surround me
Rather watch 'em make a boulder split right down the middle
Crushing my entire future, to have aspirations bend
Bottle up what I feel, to hope everyone arounds me feels alright
Well, I don't feel alright, but I'm not going to complain
Keep moving forward, in hopes I made someone's day okay
This is all temporary, I hope
Because it's 5 PM, and my eyes are tired, my body is shaking
I fought the longest battle, and I'm ready to lose,
But I refuse to surrender
#sad #hope #happy #time #battle #bittersweet #care #aspirations #5
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Apr 2014 · 300
drunk and sad
it's ok Apr 2014
drunk and sad
I got drunk alone with whiskey,
the back porch held me with tears I shed
I didn't want help, but after the clean skin
I had for 3 whole years, it's amazing how
a little piece of metal, with pounds of self pity
can lure you back to opening wounds
Continue reading...
Apr 2014 · 191
sometimes I can't sleep
it's ok Apr 2014
sometimes I can't sleep
I don't know if you know what sadness feels like
When it lasts for years, and you never catch a break
until you go numb and learn when you need to laugh
I don't know if you know what constantly changing is like,
when you can't find steady ground and
you're not sure if you can love, or if you're even capable
of feeling that way
I know you know greed, impatience, and anger
I don't know if you know that I have tried with all my strength,
to be the exact opposite of those things
I waited to feel alive, and tried to catch it,
but the people that brought me up showed me the news
instead of cartoons
they sighed at the slightest annoyance instead of giving me patience
and they told me about the horrors
and I saw all the bad in all the people
I don't know. I'm just thinking.
Continue reading...
Apr 2014 · 313
rabbits and dogs and cats and animals
it's ok Apr 2014
rabbits and dogs and cats and animals
True beauty does not have to communicated by human lips,
but shines through the eyes of a loved animal
that trusts you enough to curl up in your lap
and doesn't flinch at the hand that comforts them
the animal that will make sure you're okay
and will be there for you when it feels like
every thing is falling apart,
things are best when something so full of love
wants you to feel better again
It's a short stupid poem, but I really love my animals. They mean the world to me. I have four of my own.
Simba(cat), Sydney(Dog), Ghost(rabbit), Shadow(rabbit) and they're all really sweet and I just have an overwhelming love for them. :)
Continue reading...
Apr 2014 · 2.0k
invisible pulling lines
it's ok Apr 2014
invisible pulling lines
you're the perfect beat in the song
together, you're knotted with a perfect memory
you're a could have, should have,
you're a wish and a dream
and to trace my fingertips across your skin
feels like heaven and bliss running through me
head to toe, and sometimes at a breaking point
but I'm not even sure if my words mean anything
because we can spend all night, all day, all year
talking. laughing. fighting.
we can spend forever in ecstasy, thinking it'll never end
I will still have my doubts
because you're a couldn't have, shouldn't have
just a wish and another goodbye
#dream #poem #words #sad #tags #end #not #im #in #goodbye #if #i #the #thinking #day #running #night #heaven #and #perfect #wish #could #me #sure #*** #my #skin #should #laughing #together #invisible #even #to #but #sometimes #never #have #song #head #like #forever #memory #still #whole #we #fighting #bliss #all #breaking #just #lines #yes #at #year #ecstasy #will #with #through #doubts #talking #pulling #fingertips #youre #mean #spend #couldnt #point #feels #your #across #can #beat #because #another #anything #put #itll #shouldnt #knotted #trace #toe
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Apr 2014 · 502
The Clock
it's ok Apr 2014
The Clock
Hours moved to minutes
Time froze again
Then seconds turned to hours
and you're feeling trapped again
right down to your bones, in constricting skin
you never know what you're gonna do
you barely manage to roll words off your tongue anymore
running out of time
you pick up your feet and
it's all over for you
Continue reading...
Apr 2014 · 250
Keep on, darlin'
it's ok Apr 2014
Keep on, darlin'
Don't let the moonlight sweep you off your feet
They'll claim it's a game, they'll say follow follow me
You're lost in your own intoxicated mind
and you're promising you're gonna be someone
                                      someday
Continue reading...
Apr 2014 · 298
1,264 miles
it's ok Apr 2014
1,264 miles
I need to evoke imagination
I need a little bit of inspiration
Do you run out of things to say?
Keep your thoughts louder
keep 'em louder than your mouth
Are you apart of who we we?
We chew up your patterns,
we spit 'em back out
Are you listening?
Do you need some time to rest?
every minute is spent
Watching hills crawl
and I stopped caring years ago
Even if it's forced, all I needed was to think
Continue reading...
Apr 2014 · 354
vocals
it's ok Apr 2014
vocals
there's a different way to play
when you yell at the top of your lungs
release your emotions through music
and you're gonna be alright
every thing bothering you will go away
and you will get to know who you are
just open up your mouth
and sing
Continue reading...
Mar 2014 · 209
description of how i always feel
it's ok Mar 2014
description of how i always feel
and i starve for the right words to come and save me
to give my eyes light, and show my skin sun
it seems as if the windows stare back at me
when i watch the trees sway
calling me outside
to feel lonely around people who are
supposed to
love me
i'm trying to reach you
and you're not there
i learned the hard way that
my words will not save you
when my words do not save myself
Continue reading...
Mar 2014 · 209
matter of time
it's ok Mar 2014
matter of time
the past is chasing you down
but I won't let it get to you again
you get so high and leave the world for a little while
but I can't let you get hurt
"there's time to grow and time to wait
time to move, and time for fate
to show you your future of unimaginable dreams."
and is your future tickling at your nose?
I can't let you see it if you're going to hate yourself
are you going to be burned out?
I can't let you get hurt
again
Continue reading...
Mar 2014 · 551
The Exploding Mood Ring
it's ok Mar 2014
The Exploding Mood Ring
When you're around, it opens old wounds
but our words always seem to find each other
You make me feel sad, happy, angry, and alive
all at once
and my tongue gets so *******
tell me, tell me, tell me,
is the riot worth the both of us
Continue reading...
Mar 2014 · 396
ugly house calls
it's ok Mar 2014
ugly house calls
Let's take the words the devil says,
and rip it out your mouth
when I look in your eyes,
I see the evil that no one has gotten through
your scales beneath your skin are tearing through your flesh
You're always so angry, full of bitterness, please tell me why
you feel you are forced to live like this
Continue reading...
Mar 2014 · 1.0k
a concert
it's ok Mar 2014
a concert
i've been to enough shows to know how people act
when I saw Three Days Grace, people seemed to
avoid each other at all costs
when I saw chevelle, the room was filled with nostalgia
however, I was far too young to understand
I just loved their music, and the way they arranged words
when I saw New Found Glory, I made a friend
People were goofy, fun to be around
when I saw Paramore, there was so many people
no one really cared to interact, but the one girl
who held my camera up for me because I'm not tall enough
when I saw of mice & men, with Bring Me The Horizon
everyone was so full of energy, and took care of each other
and in all these places, and being surrounded
by all these strangers
it all felt like family
i know this isn't exactly the TYPE of thing to write about or not something that most people would enjoy, but I adore going to shows, and so I kind of needed a little outlet to express my love for them haha

I didn't list all the bands I've seen live, I just listed my favorites.
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Mar 2014 · 325
Conversations!
it's ok Mar 2014
Conversations!
Does it scare you?
“what are you talking about?”
I'm talking about looking in the mirror
seeing old photographs
realizing the innocence is gone?
“I'm over it.”
You're never gonna be that same person again
If I were five, I'd never be drunk
rambling about things that constantly fill my mind
You wouldn't be sober, having to care for me
“None of it matters.”
Well, are you okay with going from a swing set
to taking every drug to feel like you can fly
like you did as a child?
Are you okay with outgrowing your favorite shirts
and realizing you were unplanned and you're parents
were too drunk to care about their one night stand?
“Just.. stop talking. Get some rest. You're gonna need it.”
I need to make sure I am okay,
but all of this between
seems like chapter one is only began
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Mar 2014 · 458
fuck it
it's ok Mar 2014
**** it
I'm ready to get the **** out of this ****** town,
out of this house, but I'm so young
Can't make my own decisions,
because all I do is make so many ******* mistakes
and what's the point?
my future is all I have
**** the people here
**** my friends
**** money
**** the bills my parents pay
**** it all
I only want to be free
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Mar 2014 · 367
thoughts
it's ok Mar 2014
thoughts
I'm so tired of listening to the same track
of everyone's voice
The clouds look like fire on waves
right as the sun sets
I'm all alone, thinking of you
when the stars roar their light,
and the moon hugs onto the thread of
the darkness
I cannot help but contemplate tragedy
because it seems as if it follows me around

We all have to move along,
let go and let live seems so sad to me
because the only time I could ever do that
is when I'm dizzy and ditzy.
I never quite saved myself,
I only left myself behind
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Mar 2014 · 462
words cannot hold
it's ok Mar 2014
words cannot hold
everything in this town is so messed up
the sun struggles to rise
as church goers gossip
about the pregnant 13 year old's
3rd child
this county is so ****** up
there's more drugs and lies than you could imagine
and the dealers are the ones that own the gas station
everyone is trying so hard to get by
and in my town there's 400 people(estimate)
I hear emergency sirens everyday
but Im forced to love it here
until I get away
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Mar 2014 · 4.4k
self acceptance
it's ok Mar 2014
self acceptance
I accepted to myself that I'm in love with you
it might be a little late,
and I don't want to date,
but it's all there,
I swear
and I got drunk one night and got *******
at the same person I held hands with
because whiskey makes me emotional
they told me they wanted me to love myself
and I said no
I said "I will never care about myself
or find myself beautiful
I'll always hate me
but that's okay, I've figure out how to live with it."
I've crying over the shame my blades hold
and how I sliced my skin the same night
I told you everything
I just wish I could accept the smaller things
the ones I cannot control
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Feb 2014 · 326
'It never gets easier, you just get better'
it's ok Feb 2014
'It never gets easier, you just get better'
you created your own problems
and its time to stop
making up excuses.

self-centered.

but I hope you're doing okay
and I hope no one ever has to suffer
While the world is collapsing
we save ourselves
from fires and floods

When no one really matters,
I hope you're not crying in a bathroom stall,
I hope you fit in unless you hate attention
but that's your decision

but don't ask me to notice
how you are putting problems on yourself
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Feb 2014 · 457
stupid things to love
it's ok Feb 2014
stupid things to love
I don't know about you,
but I love watching the sunrise

washing my sheets
changing them, and watching the puppy
search for the old smell,
roll around in the new one

I adore seeing orange and blue
intertwine in the sky

I think it's funny,
listening to my mother scream
over fries, because I know I can
make her laugh again if I'm patient

I think hair is beautiful,
when it's wild and free
not held down by the millions of chemicals

I take in the moments when there is a hurricane
no one drives past my house during these times
so I lay in the road until I hear trees begin to crack
and sit under the carport, letting the rain brush me

I love spending all day,
writing quotes down in a notebook
reading poems and thinking
about inspiration, why they chose
the words they did

I love the bonfires on summer nights
because no matter how far you get from the fire,
you stay warm

I am grateful I can walk through the forest
jump over streams
and climb the trees

I admire the way smoothies taste
when you have a bad hangover
(or at any other time too)

I love to run until my feet turn red
because I love to watch the world
fly by me, and know that it is endless

I could probably list and list
go on forever
because I think they're all wonderful
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Feb 2014 · 736
Numbers Define
it's ok Feb 2014
Numbers Define
I want to shed the weight off
thinner thighs, hips, legs, arms
I'm not fat, just out of shape
and I wear the extra skin,
watch the fabric of my clothes stretch
disgustingly over my body
I eat healthy now, and I run and run
and exercise every day, something different
I want to be fit when I meet my heroes
in 3 weeks
I've been drinking green drinks
I've been drinking orange red drinks
made by my hand held blender
The app on my phone says,
If I keep eating like I do,
I'll weight 113 pounds in 5 weeks
but it's not enough
and I push myself until
I want to collapse
it's still not enough
because I'm 5'3 (and a half)
and most girls my height are more dainty than me
but I don't want to go three days without eating
four days without sleeping because I worry about my weight
binge eating and giving up my food
because I won't be that person again
it never worked
I just wish I was not made out of numbers
**** weight
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