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Clay Face Mar 30

You make me want to get high and end something.

Your childhood shouldn’t be mine.
You apathetic ****.

I know you don’t care.
That’s why it hurts.
You’re father was gone,
Maybe that would be better.
You’re here, but not for me.
You’re just a huge tease.

Without words you flay.
Furl me in a calm.
Just to show what worth you have of me.
I’d rather be whipped.
At least then you’d use me.

Your always at my leash.
If I try to pull you to me.
You’re never at the end.

Endless release of my constant fill.
Never seems to bring benevolence.
Slamming fists, yelling to a burn,
Biting until blood, hurting until bruised.

You’re a tick I can’t rip out.
Burrowed and *****.
I can rip my skin open.
Dig in.
You’d never be found.
I’d amputate your from me.
With a saw, knife, or bullet.
You **** me dry, and never pass a nod.

I can’t scream into another.
Or cry with someone.
They’re nothing to me.
Cause they’re nothing to you.
I have no one.
Monkey see, monkey do.

There’s always something absent.
Turgid and deeply rooted.
It hollows my chest when I feel it.
I’ll never taste it.
Or have the chance to waste it.

Finding someone to abridge.
Is frustratingly crippling.
I sting just thinking about it.
You knee capped me.
I’ll never love.
I’ll never be loved.

You made me meat.
You made everyone meat.
When will you realize that I am no longer who I used to be.

You rid me of the hope I had and the beauty I used to see in this cutthroat world.

Every word and hit you landed on me made sure of that.

You did not let me grow up and instead pushed me into the shallow looking waters thinking I would survive.

And you're right I did.

But at what cost?

Only my humanity of course.

How ironic it is that you wanted me to thrive and pour gold out of my waking life.

When I came out burning from sulfur and ashes.

No warning and no mercy, no.

You never taught me what that was.

All the expectations and dreams set into my very being with no thought of what it would take.

I am not your saving grace nor your chance for another life.

I am not made for your salvation, to make up for what you could not have.

I have always been so much more than that.

You birthed me from fuel and soot.

I was never meant to be what you predicted.

So do not come to me with your expectations of obedience I will never yield to your maltreatment.

I will never be molded into what you want of me.

thanks mom and dad :)))
When sad, empty eyes chance to rest upon
Other eyes fixed in a hopeless gaze,
What sweet fantasies overrun the mind--
Navigating love's enchanting maze

How the pulse quickens when love is the prize,
Like dried kindling, hope begins to burn;
But what pain when one heart greedily feasts,
And for the other shows no concern

What a dilemma when only one heart
Lights the darkness with love's burning flame;
Merciless anguish does not spare the rod
When Love's endeavor is put to shame

For what is the mainstay of caring hearts
If not love that's given in return?
Just as a candle's flame must extinguish
When there remains no wick left to burn

I've heard it said love begets love, and yet
Love's hunger still courses through my veins;
So my starving heart forages for crumbs
In Love's graveyard of decaying  remains

Unrequited love always takes its toll --
A forbidding toll each heart must pay;
Love cannot survive without sustenance,
Weakened by neglect, it fades away
ju Jan 4
I’ll walk clifftop.

Watch the sunrise fractured by a hundred different puddles, made whole again by the sea.

I’ll bleed peace and spill calm over ground that should’ve been cared for by now, and I’ll draw maps of the old season in battleship blue and a half-healed ****** crimson.

I’ll love them: Today they are mine.
Tonight I’ll give them away, and I’ll love them more.

I’ll walk clifftop.

I’ll pause. Watch the sunset rain copper-coins into a rolling-smoke sea, and I’ll miss him.
Alice Jan 4
I want to plant a garden
And water brown, dead flowers
I wish to reap
Just what I sow
If I water only the dead ones, I can be satisfied that it wasn't my care that killed them
elle jaxsun Dec 2020
i have a heart
i can feel it

i tend to never feed it.
like this body i neglect,
also the heart inside its chest.

i  hope one day i will wake
& give a **** for goodness' sake.

I don't think I've written anything else since July 2019. Wild.
Spadille Dec 2020
Mother, mother
You know nothing
You do not know my darkest days
And nights driven by insomnia

You aren't aware of my self hatred
Nor my paranoia and anxiety
And how sorrow ate me slowly
As I lay in my bed silently weeping

I believed that you neglected me
Because I felt alone
I was in the ocean in the middle of the storm
High waves almost sunk my boat

You have read my poems
They were portals to my sufferings
Sorrowful words filled my work
Yet you still knew nothing

4 years of agony
My demons visit me frequently
They hunt me in my darkest nights
Not even the moon could shine

Mother, mother
You have forsaken me
And blamed me for my own sufferings
You didn't understand
Took you too long to know mom
Isaac Dec 2020
My crybaby tears disappeared and my river of feelings froze over
You can’t ever really feel my pain but you can admire the icy crystals that lay over
The waters in which my mind swims in
Underneath my icy wall is a castle with abundant life
Creatures that would inflict terror at night
Kissing my cheek and protecting my life
N Jul 2020
Let us not talk
about family

My father
is the word absence

And my mother
is the word fear
Carlo C Gomez Sep 2020
A lasting kiss
spoils the poison apple

A smile of obligation
and it's off to the chapel

A tale of sexes and sevens
around the campfire

Years of bitter indifference
collapse in on the walls
of desire

Happily ever after
Is a magical kingdom crime

Abiding commitment
On the other hand
Is an attainable climb
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