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part of me wants to scream
I want to scream out to the world to get them to understand
I want to scream until there isn’t a single breath left in my lungs until they sting with the energy , I've expended and my words hang in the air for all to hear
to be a poet you must write with a certain passion
live with the satisfaction that you can constantly assemble phrases words and lines
because to truly write you must feel
you must freely write your emotion
you must learn to let go of your darkest secrets
allow the words to flow from your mind
liberate yourselves from mental slavery
they cannot comprehend why I write
I am striving for inner peace
fighting for the freedom of my soul
writing is my form of release because sometimes
poetry is not a release of emotion but an escape of emotion
moments & raw emotions
these aren't things ready made
we fear what we know but do not understand
we are loose at the seams
pretending to fine
Yet desiring to be heard
understood from the core
of our poems our souls
© Jennifer Delong  🦏 8/14/18
-------------
do you have moments where you can’t imagine a future?
you’re lying there staring at the
same walls
same ceilings
same words
with nothing but the same feelings-
empty and pale
like there’s no reason to go on
when you can’t even do enough to fail
the future is coming but you
can’t imagine yourself in it
where you just want to stop
everything
and just sit there for a while
maybe not forever
as that’s too permanent,
but something close to it
when you feel like there's a rope
around your neck
Is it just depression or is it the loneliness
when you don't know but you know
you can't continue to feel this way © Jennifer Delong 11/7/18
Sometimes , I wanna disappear
Sometimes , I wanna just
quit
I wonder why , I always
keep going
I don't see anything
in my future
that , I am so in need of
I am still alone
I am still struggling
It's these times
I really just feel the pain
burning my soul
How can one go through
so much pain , hurt
and still just keep living
Knowing there's more to come
Like a punch in the gut
Where's the reason
Where's the purpose
Why not just disappear
It's not like anyone would
notice
So maybe , I will just
Disappear

:: © Jennifer L DeLong 2/2021::
Nika J Nov 2020
I have searched for you
Notice me
For I have found you
Touch me
As that will change my life
Hold me
As I cannot breathe
Courage
Hear me
For I am begging, screaming
Love
Feel me
For I am hopeless, changing
Happiness
Chase me
For I am blue
See me
Oh, see me
Because I need you
You ever wished upon certain words as if they weren't listening to you? As if they were people that you just couldn't get to? As if they were just out of grasps...
Robert L Sep 2020
Inspection leads some men
to brief resurrection,
But that course can also
lead to a defection.

There’s often some needing,
for a frenzy of feeding,
When we seek to feast,
on an ego that’s bleeding.

Is it real or some mirage,
lost in forest or garage?
So many casualties of truth,
how can we triage?

And this is that place
too well we all know,
that if you disagree
well that’s just your ego.

And right or wrong
you must submit,
Or be tossed from the circle
a dishonorable ****.

How is it we can be so blind,
to not see we are of a kind.
Who run about with desperate shouts,
without a mindful mind.

In the dark I see a wraith
Perhaps a remnant of our faith,
Ephemeral and tinged with rust
Forgotten father of our trust.

I’m not speaking here to thee,
what’s this paradox I see
But you said that, no I did not,
Oh, what a travesty!

Walk a mile in my shoes,
see for yourself what you may lose,
Perhaps you’ll find the fit so right
that it awakes you in the night.

And there you’ll lie and toss and turn,
amidst the loss amidst the burn
Oh, sad child who would not learn
Please say a prayer for me.
Spacecadet Dec 2019
One day
My man, a gentle knight,
Will know the pain in my eyes
Hidden by my streetwise style
He’ll detect the buttoned down toned tight tremble in my chest
the chill of my breath
And he will lay every piece of armour down
To come bravely
Tenderly
With silence to listen to the words and feelings turning the rhythm of my sobs
Into a partner dance
Ears and eyes, heart and soul
Moving our bare bones
to the wisdom presented by hearts that are
Truth faced
And with this presence and kindness
I will surrender knowing finally I am safe.
Janal Rajput Dec 2019
On some cold nights, oh, I miss you,
So I cling for my teddy when I'm alone,
Wishing that I could still call your phone,
So I cling to my teddy when I'm alone,
But he doesn't have your heart-beat,
I can't hear its rhythmic thump in my ear,
Close to my heart where I held you dear,
And he doesn't smell like the way you do,
No trace of your intoxicating sweat or perfume,
Missing a scent that used to be all over my bedroom,
You see, my teddy is soft and furry,
And not firm and steady,
Like the way I remember you,
With my head on your chest,
Forgetting time and space,
You kissing me half-dressed ,
And he doesn't sound like you,
He can't mumble into my chest,
Telling he loves me too,
He can't bite and whisper into my ear,
Making my legs give way as he says,
All he wants to be is here, with me,
He can't breathe down and lick my neck,
Making me double-take in breath,
My body becoming a nervous wreck,
My teddy is warm and comforting,
But he can't pull me closer into him,
Wrapping my legs around his waist,
I can't kiss him to remember your taste,
And he can't kiss me before I go to bed,
Right where I need it, on my forehead,
His paws cant draw lines down my body,
Like the way you could with your hands,
Send electricity through every part of me,
And I can't wear my teddy's clothes,
Because well he doesn't really have those,
But you took all yours, but that's how it goes
My teddy is cute and adorable,
But to compare his face to yours is laughable,
Because you are so beautiful,
Especially when you were joyful,
Some nights alone I miss you,
And I cling to my teddy wishing it were you,
Hoping it to be good enough to replace you,
That it could never be anything close to you,
I'm just clinging to long-past memories of you,
But you're long gone so my teddy will just do,
Because you're not coming back to my room,
You're not going to replace my teddy with the real you,
You're not going to slide next to and cuddle me,
You're not going to come in and say that you love me,
You're no longer even a real person,
But a ghost of memories that continue to haunt me,
But I still want you, desperately, clinging to my teddy,
Trying to regrow the piece of my heart you took from me.
Miss my ex. Wrote this.
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