I find myself hiding under my bed sheets, every corner of my room haunts me. The alcohol on my breath worries my mother. The aroma of your cologne remains impregnated on the sweater I wore the last time I saw you . I hate you even though I miss you through my teeth and even though this feeling consumes me, I would not choose you again. I hate the way I left but what I hate even more is the fact that you were gone way before me. My favorite part after a long and exhausting day was to walk by that one street corner, that **** corner where you first told me you loved me, Now simply viewing it from afar hurts, burns. I expressed out the fear that loving you caused me, due the damage I had already lived through and even so you continued to do me the same damage I drown seeking answers for the endless doubts that you left me. I drown in wine because it somehow brings me back to our first kiss. Did you ever thought of me? Or did your narcissism get the better of you once again?
With an overcast sky, summer warns us the moon stops by for a brief conversation before taking its leave, replaced by the sun I stitch together sheep counts, Z's, and dreams but these days drag into my subconscious and streams of melancholy drain into one
You shake your head, watching me it seems I have mistaken midnight gloom for rain clouds and thunderstorm doom Summer's warnings, now clear as day, everything they were meant to say I tend to overthink and underthink everything we are
When winter comes, with endless hours of midnight maybe then, I will have enough time to consolidate what we are destined to be unmistakably
Splinters of glass rip through my chest I can feel my heart breaking and I know it's a mess Grief fills my lungs with liquid, like swimming pools for my emotions I wonder what's the right decision, when everything feels so broken Some days it's hard to stay, but leaving would tear me to shreds Back and forth and back again, until theres nothing left See, I know enough of humanity, to trust I'd learn to breathe again But the thought alone is devastating, like losing a piece of me instead I have thoughts so problematic, I will only tell one person Because if I'm honest I'm kind of messed up, holding sins inside me like organs My cards tell me three's a party, which means I'm the odd one out The universe once gave me hope and peace, but now she feeds me doubts
Tarot cards obliterated me with a year forecast that makes sense and hurts my heart
Whether you hide or stand out, Whether you whisper or scream and shout, If you want to, you can be found. And if there days you feel you have no one But your fears and your doubts, Like you've looked everywhere but can't find a way out, if you want to, you can be found. You will be found.
Why hurry When was the finish line made When was it all capable of coming to an end Was it the silver strings that grew amongst the black youth Or was it the timely pain that came against knees and joints What was it ? That made you loose track of your path Did your mistakes pulled you away Or was it your doubts that missed flights on its way To opportunities. Why did you hurry away ?