Minute by minute
hour by hour
the angry swells so heavy
I'm about to pass out
and i want to never wake up.
Lost and confused trying to find myself again
So I pick up a pen and spill the ink
Black is what I see and what I bleed
Joy is a mystery that I can't seem to grasp
losing hope and faith
is it you or is it me?
Was this even meant to be?
You stole my identity and said you were my friend.
Ripped out of my arms, whispering goodbye.
And the hole widens with anger and spite.
Why doesn't this feel right?
This was suppose to be my chance, my dream!
To show the world that I am enough,
that I'm real and I feel!
This depression and stress, I want it to rest.
I need it to rest.
Why do i keep feeling like I'm not enough?
Is it you or is it me?
***, can you hear me scream?
I don't know what to do, I'm dazed and confused.
Chasing the dragon in the bathroom at work,
my only source of peace, my fake fidelity.
Sticking needles in places scars used to be.
Once healed, now marking its territory.
Again and again, how longer will I bend,
How longer will I need to prove myself?
How much longer will I come second place?
Where is your faith and why do I seek your approval?
I keep blaming you, but is it me?
A shoutout to all that feel this way, you're not alone, and I hope i'm not either. Hugs and kisses. XoXo