..that I and only know
a turn you made
I witnessed this
(secreted from in your blind patch)
You're secret was told in a single action ;
a glance you made
and I knew
the guilty rotter that had made playtime ;
the projection in your mental dreyings

I put aside the impression observed
that I may prey upon your company
on some other chosen day
Enzo 2d
we preach to ourselves that we could be better
when living in the current is all we do,
drowning in the sea of archetypal stereotypes, and the norm.
We're simplistic and boring,
never extraordinary just plain ordinary
life is getting duller by the moment; go drink alcohol
I’d rather go have fun with friends outside
Than be stuck on a screen waiting to die
Searching for the latest retweet or like
Just to find out no one cares about my life.
Tighten chest.
Stupid fest.
Hated feast.

Shaking hand.
Can't breathe.
Heart hurting.
Continuous gasping for air.

" I am so stupid. What did I do?"
"What am I doing!?"
"You foolish hag what are you doing?"
I am hardly free from this anxiety.
Free me...
Social anxiety is not just being shy....
It's so hard to overcome it....
Sometimes my heart aches to the core.

Aches. Truly aches.

Because I realize I am too afraid to forge meaningful relationships because to be vulnerable is to be a burden.

Nobody wants to be friends with a burden.

I don't think I am enough.
I have a very close best friend
But I hope we aren't friends for life
They trudge with me every day
And keep me cold at night

My friend is really clingy
They want me to stay alone
Fridays, for most, are for partying
But I'm with my friend at home

My friend is really cruel to me
They call me nasty names
They say no one would like the genuine me
At least nobody sane

My friend has lots of other friends,
And if they're yours as well,
All I can say is that I'm sorry you're trapped
On this merry-go-round from Hell.
Taking the dog to the dog park
where he can run, and bark
Taking the dog to the dog park
just for fun, on a lark

Sniffing every canine butt
whiffing purebreds and mutts
Sniffing and pissing an awful lot
a social event what's we've got

The dog park is his dream
he runs and plays, extreme
The dog park in his ecstasy
that's where he and I
will be
Yup, off to the dog park, he's been a good dog ;D
In the '80s I worked for a company
who sold mobile (cell) phones
they needed 2 bodybuilders to lift
and only Tory yuppies could afford them
we also had a car phone fitter
no hands free so lethal on the roads
I had to stock take the big bastards
so a waiting hernia had my name on it

In the 90s I worked for a different telecomms firm
they never sold the now slightly smaller mobiles at all
no future in them, that's what they said
anyway, business suits and drug dealers
were the main market for them at that time
my company thrived on fax machines and payphones
if you were seen with a mobile you were a prick
or a low life down a shadowy back street

In the 2000s everything changed almost overnight
affordability and smaller size really mattered
the masses and all classes turned to text
and the novelty of talking on the toilet
in the bath, or while enjoying al fresco sex
that means outdoors, not with Alan Fresco
the genie was out of the bottle
and so, unfortunately, was Christina Aguilera

In the 2010s, public phone boxes are a rarity
the irony is those that are left
with the doors ripped off and pools of urine
are now largely the preserve of drug dealers
trace ability more difficult, piss odour irrelevant
the mobile phone world has turned full circle
in just 2 decades users have evolved from social pariahs
to social media addicts with a furtive future unwritten
I've gone for social commentary with humour here. I'm aware not ALL public phone boxes are used by dealers. We have plenty of older people and rural areas in the UK.
I’ve lost my ambition to work
I’ve lost my ambition to think
I stare at a screen and follow links
I have forgotten how to blink
I have forgotten how to network
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