it’s no secret that i’m short it’s always been that way and it will always be that way stuck at 4’9 forever
and by the laws of physics or science or whatever i don’t really take up much space
but ever since i was young i couldn’t help but feel that i was too much i took up too much of the room around me
so a lots of times there were these thoughts always playing, like static telling me how to take up less space or make less noise and become even more invisible
pull your arms closer tuck them in your lap tip toe, so floorboards don’t creak under your steps don’t move keep still and most definitely do not let any words slip from your mouth because any noise, and movement brings attention and attention brings judgement from the people around you so just blend in and be invisible never take up too much space
but that was not living and i’m sad it’s taken this long to realize that my existence is too beautiful to be invisible and blend in among the crowd so i will stomp the ground and shake the earth beneath i will laugh and shout and dance and let everyone know that i am here because i am worthy of taking up space -2/12/2019
I stand here dripping wet from the rain; From the storm you left in your wake Shivering from exposure; Droplets fall off of me to the ground My tears blending in; No one can hear my calls for you The thunder drowning out my cry's; No on can see me with the fog that begins to crawl in But I am not invisible; I see myself From a distance I see headlights approaching; As if my prays had been answered And looking through the windshield I see you, as if you had never left Bringing with you the sunshine I so crave; And I can finally begin to dry.
This entry of mine is kinda of half based on myself and half just my imagination and i hope you like it x
In a world full of people it is truly sad to feel alone To be invisible in the midst of your own But then again to live is to die and maybe in death my soul will matter or will I disappear whitout leaving a sign?
i keep seeing spirits in front of my eyes white wisps of smoke floating by why are these ghosts taking shelter in my mind? they do not belong here am i just turning into a ghost myself? no one sees me, no one knows am i invisible?
Who am I? Am I all alone? I have friends though, At least that's what I want to believe. How do people see me? I see myself as a monster, In fear and sorrow, With scars on wrist. They see a man who is happy, That's because I want them to see that. I lost myself long ago, And the one I know is no longer so. Do I need help? Do I tell people how I really feel? But then again everyone would just make it a big deal. I want to say, But I can't find that day. I can't stop myself, The thoughts just never go away. And when they come, The cuts come subconsciously. I need help, And will you be the one to make me stop. I want to be myself again, To find the brighter day, To mend my broken soul. But until then I sit in the cold rain, The rain in my brain, That causes all my pain.
It's kind of a weird story, How I got these scars. The're very special, You can only see them If I tell you they are here. But the scars you think you saw, The scars you think you pointed out on my body, Don't exist. The scars i have, Are seen when i tell you to see them. So now they are invisible. Because no one will ever know. That i want to be the one to speak her name as mine. These scars, Are from not from my knife but from you because i told you to hurt me and it would be better for you, for me, and for everybody. Maybe you want to take the risk. And want to see the scars. I'll show them. But i warn you. You will not only see scars, Lies. Hate. Anger. Deceit. Delusion. Deception. Seduction. Fallacy. Errancy. Oversight. Aberrancy. This can go on for a while. I'll tell you this. The one thing i keep in mind. The one thing you should keep in mind. Don't know, Don't see, Don't show, Don't feel.