I will not burden you with my sadness,
I will write it down, and burn the bottle
I will watch the circles repeat, and
I will carry the freedom of happiness
I am. you are. every is. so much greater
than emotions, you are a breath of fresh air
you are a soul, born to fly,
to disappoint
to impact
and no one is nothing
Do not watch the stars with envy,
but with the knowledge you are
children of the stars,
they are the ones who crafted you

You could starve by searching the world
for someone who picks their words
just like you
and sometimes you make me laugh
with your coffee stained teeth
I hang onto every word that slips out
even though you think I forget
and I know I know I know
you can't knock me out some nights
after all the drinking, its better to pretend
this all means nothing
because truth be told it's so difficult for me
to love and so many people have tried
to break through my skin
you help me forget it all
and you make me crazy

It is not something that can be pulled at, or eaten away by a vulture. Not something that hope that shape and transform and turn into happiness. Listening to solutions over and over again, may bring your self destruction, but of course, who can actually help you? There is a thin line between all that you could feel and explore. The world is waiting for you to go and say hello, and stop hiding away. Because you have to know to ignore the negative, and highlight to the positive. Treat your self, lose weight to feel better about yourself, but take the healthy way. You need to learn to love yourself, because looking in the mirror and hurting the person who's staring back is not how you would treat everyone else, but I know it hurts when your bones are breaking under the pressure of living, but here's where the saddest part is, you absolutely have to be willing to be everything you wished, because you can't stay the way you are, right? It is a hardworking process, in the end, its worth it.

all that we see, and all that we want
will be written down in a history book in 20 years
so we cannot and will not ever be unimportant,
one after another, you may inspire, to inspire another
and you are not unimportant
no matter how small you may feel, or how much you want to drop
you are keeping someone alive
the puppy or kitten or bunny or even snake you save
feed, nurture, revive
may leave impact so big on you
and the pebble you kicked, that stubbed your toe,
made others laugh and laugh and laugh
so you had a story to be spread
who knows about the future,
perhaps I'm wasting my time,
but all I'm trying to say is, with every fiber of my being,
I know everyone matters
including you

We all consume the our feelings
underneath the fire
underneath the dimmed lights
underneath the strobe
We all take another shot,
and talk about the stars
and talk about old loves
and close our mouths and dance
We all feel relaxation
feel close
feel inspired
feel gone
but we never let go
of the warmth
of happiness
of freedom
and we live,
and move on
and forget
and regret

I don't mind
being all alone
and not going out over the weekend
I don't care
about all my friends
that go out to play each day
All I need
is to be at the bottom of the food chain
because that's how I spent my childhood
Until I found my place
So now, in a spot of interacting every day
I shouldn't hope
to go back to being alone.
and I don't need your **** social ladder
or your desperation of feeling liked
because I never ever once wanted
to live to please others,
because living on the rooftop
doesn't mean feeling alive

Skate board down the rainy road
cameras flashing
shadows cast behind us,
doing their own little dance
windy night, can't light the sparklers too well
and if the lightning strikes the power out,
we could enjoy the stars peeking out behind the clouds
when the daylight comes, we'll steal the coffee
just to stay up a little longer,
and we don't eat, and sleep our Sunday away

I was all alone, and gasping for air
Reaching for something I knew was not there
Dark and quiet, all is well.
Nothing is wrong, shouldn't I feel okay?
Because I can cry, but it's so stupid,
So why waste my energy when I'm so tired,
my feet can't move forward
I know what I'm gonna have to face
It's the same every single day.
and I wish this on no one

I woke up this morning, and everyone was gone by noon
But the conversations that fell over and over spoke to me in more ways than one
After playing War Craft, progressing to a drinking game version of monopoly,
and a stupid card game, never settling on any thing,
Across The Universe settled us down for two minutes, but the conversation never ran low
Now I have videos on my camera I'd rather dispose of but the memories make it worth it
And some day, I hope I can remember nights like these,
The one's where I could stare at the ceiling and see constellations
Even when there are only fake stars
I hope walking across a busy town at night
Just to go to one place, stays in my memory
Some day it may be only a story,
but the stories may never stop

Consider consider consider reconsidering
Listen to every single word I say, don’t look at the facts
You’ll be under my wing, sweet little singer
Reverse reverse reverse reversing
Laughing at the television that infects brains with little bugs
Teaching your baby mind how to control your arms and legs
Walk this way, and believe these things are your relief
Talking to drugs, ask ‘em about the way they control the world
Taking over, we’re under over the years

Mirrors seem to have an image of someone you don't want to look at,
You hate the way you can't control your sadness and anger
Trust me, I know it's not easy, for those skeletons still conquer sometime
Sparks of light are overlooked, and we only see our skin being a prison
Sometimes as the extra puzzle piece in the world that doesn't fit
An outcast can still win, so do what you want to make the world better
You do not have to project hate, but to think positive thoughts can help
It's such a struggle, but the sunlight will hit, and it will be the colder than ever,
But the noon will come and warmth will be felt
Even if night may fall again
Try to keep the sun, but if you fail, remember it always shows itself
Go on and be happy, and be who you want to be.

Too young to be so sad
A little upset because our mothers didn't think we could tap into that emotion so much
Angry at the world for not making us feel better
Why were we so sad?
Because now the faded scars don't make sense,
Except for when the light is out and I'm all alone
Left to figure things out
with nothing to distract me from myself
I think about the past
and I realize why were so sad.

When it's quiet in a room full of people
The room can bring on complete silence
I feel as if minds are synchronized
Only for that second,
and then the path leads to the winding streets
of their imagination
and my eyes wander as I wonder
what could they be thinking of
that's so important so silence fills the room?
Maybe they're sad about a loss
because losing a special part happens so much
or filled with joy from the joke that was told
and then reminded of something great,
in which their sniffle of laughter broke the silence
Probably a whole world made up in their head
where there are no limitations and it's pure magic
Hopefully happiness
Sided with the reasons why it's good to be alive
Maybe even wondering what everyone else is thinking about
In such a silent room

Stop saying it does not matter,
for you are the epitome of who I want to be
Maybe if you took in a breath more
You'd grow out of this darkness

Say it does not matter,
I don't want to be around you right now
Make yourself choke on all the words you spoke
You could learn how to stop being so immature

Attempts for apologies
Leave us no room for where we wanna be
I just want to be apart of these midnight fights
and the late night laughter

I want to be apart
of being gone

I laughed at something alone last night
while I did not know my own emotions,
Happiness was found once again
So I can hope the numbness is over
To move on and cherish these moments
Every single one
and not let sadness get in the way
I'm happier now, and it feels so strange
Maybe it won't last,
but atleast it is in my grasp

Happiness and pretending to be happy
Two different worlds
I have managed to pretend to be happy
to smile, laugh, search for ways to
make a fake expression seem real
lace together my words in an upbeat motion
and dance to the same tune over and over
I cannot tell if I am happy
or the emotion repeated so much
I do not know what to feel anymore
Except for when my hands touch the bottle
that brings me joy.

Over shoulders, theres a bright light with words carved in black.
Under eyes, pen and paper scribble and dent the table
All surrounded by the ones who won't look back
questions coming from someone who was unable
To understand why someone would write in a place like this
maybe they feel united
but as for me, I only want my coffee

If we live in a dream, then everything is all but a memory
Rewind time, and dance to our own beat
See the anger, go a little slower and feel the rhythm
Did the drugs help you at all?
You know how to smell and think the same way now
As soon as you let go, you will be exhausted
Redeem yourself with the alcohol,
There's way more to whiskey than you think
When you're crying on the back porch to someone you just met
Face it kid, you're never gonna make it
Destroy yourself is to destroy the ones around you
Please don't follow a path that will only bring you pain.

A couple of years ago I learned the worse thing someone could do
Every single person wants to be better than the other
As we envy the greater ones
And get angry at the ones who attempt to be better
But never work at it
So we compare ourselves to each other
Never growing to our own full potiental
We could be so much more
And you, you could shake the world with your wonderfulness
if you only stopped comparing yourself to someone else

Dear friend,
The Earth divided in two and there was much preparation
There was trenches built by humans, hollowing out the underground
Somehow, there were others that were sure they would not live through it
In which preparation was minor for them
Humans that traveled for days and days, just to live out their dream
Gathering around the fire from the core of the earth,
Only to capture the beauty with their camera and canvas
Strange it was to see everyone singing in millions of different twos
With a string of words from all the other ways we speak,
All buzzing around, with no two the same
These were, in fact, the ones who were not afraid to die
Right before they burned, they all held hands and smiled
United in the ways they loved,
While the others died in fear, these were the ones who died
happy
and
surrounded by the ones they loved.
As if humans are very emotionally complicated
Striving too hard to survive
It's very beautiful around Earth's falling apart
Don't bother writing back
sincerely,
Lover of all things

you are the animal who is afraid, hiding away from the others
you are the individual, who didn't know right from wrong
you are the girl with a ***** shirt, ducking her head down in the hallway
you are the boy obsessed with punk music and art, knowing your future is useless
as we settle, the universe shakes, our importance that draws us closer to the sun
including the whispers that no one thought we could hear
the outcasts no one wants,
are the one's who are going to show you where you belong
if you point long enough, you will know

Aren't you tired of being this way?

As I close my eyes, I go on a ride
I see the world, and I see things on other planets
Movies and movie stars that are yet to be alive
But then I realize I have not lived
And I opened my eyes,
To see my bedroom walls
Soon I realize all the people I know right now
Talking to them, thinking it matters right now
That I’m 16 years old and laughing at all the jokes
Taking into consideration of their feelings,
Praying their happiness is over the limit
Saving another life, keeping their hearts in a bag
And how I know that I will someday be 80 years old and alone
So I thought to myself “Why not end it now?”

You'll be alright,
Just stick to the fight
The battle plan to not regress
Don't lose this time against yourself

But your weapons down,
You seem exhausted,
Let me warm you some tea, dear.
Aren't you cold?

I have a fuzzy blanket or a silk blanket
You can choose one...
Or have both if choosing is overwhelming
Lay down now and close your eyes

Oh don't worry about the tea,
I'll wake you up later
Just don't stress, darling
You need to rest
and eat a lovely meal
Before I allow you to return
to the battle against yourself

I am a radar, tasting the bitter words that slipped off your tongue
I want to explore every inch of you
We all have regrets, but baby, you play the instrument best.
I am arm, to be extended, and I will be entwined with you.
Really I wouldn't mind if you walked away
As long as I get a chance to see all of
Inside and out

I have been educated to a new extent
My eyes are seeing the world differently, but I still feel the same.
Emotions seem to still wrap around my heart and stomach just like a boa constrictor
How much more do I need to feel?
And I learned its okay to cry, because in the end no one remembers anything.
Sometimes I hardly remember myself.
Things seem to fall apart when I wander away
And all I was trying to do is be tired so I can love you
Honestly, I don’t think you’d understand.
So put this in your memory, I truly care about you, but I’d **** if something got between us.
I never ever want this to happen, because you’re all I've got.
Put last.

Gather around, enjoy the show.
We’re all freaks here,
Flying around, trying to protect the only things we have.

I believed
Every lie you ever told me
I felt beautiful
And wanted,
But you’re a liar.

You’re the sun in the rain and I just can’t resist
A little heart ache will only do the trick,
Up and down, darling, we’re in the corners
Lurking and waiting we play the monsters
We play the monsters and they don’t have a choice
This evil from us will consist
You’re going to all miss this
You’re the metal to the skin of your animals
They look to you and you ruin them well
Starve yourself for tomorrow’s pleasure,
Do you believe a parade will come on your stormy day,
‘cause it’s a stormy day and you’re not here
You’re the rocks on the ground,
So they kick you around
We supported each other, but I threw you far
I’m alone, tonight, isn’t it tragic?
I’m the rain covering the sun and I just can’t help it,
I’m bound to **** and I’ll ruin it all.
Look around, baby, I am the end,
Lurking and waiting, I’ll cause your heart ache
These tricks from me will continue
But, sweet heart, don’t be misguided,
For you are the one that I miss the most

Always will you be there for me, holding my hand
The tightest of sincere embraces until the stars all burst and die
Do you know how our faith circles us like vultures?
Waiting till we’re weak to attack?
I feed off the foolishness of the fate that’s handed to us,
And I walk the other direction.
Not always was faith right, and not about us either.
We didn’t meet to fix each other.
We didn’t meet to make each other happy.
We didn’t meet to teach each other patience,
But we met to live and let go.
That’s always been the easiest part of life.
So you see, you said you’d always be there for me,
But you’re letting the vultures peck your flesh away,
Becoming who you’re supposed to be, I see you giving up.
Well let me share a secret,
I refuse to let you go.
Simply because the moonlight beckons us to fly away
**** the vultures, so we can be forever
Set our own path for the rest of our lives.
I refuse to let this so called ‘faith’ push us far apart.
Can we start a riot?
Can we hear the music louder than ever?
Listen to the silence become the opposite of a night we welcomed,
My fire won’t burn out, because I am who I am
Life’s just a silly game, isn't it?

If I could beg you not to go,
Would you stay all night and day?
We could do things like we used to,
But we both know it won’t be the same.
Still here we are, holding on.
I don’t want you to end who you are when you have more than you think
A little escape, you’re not temporarily gone.

What kind of person would I be?
If I could describe the way the relapse feels,
Going back to my old self,
People look at me again.
What else will I do,
To please everyone.
These headaches make me who I am,
Incoherent mind that others can see
My thoughts float around, and my voice is so weak.
Just another scar, just another pill, and little more smoke.
Makes the ones around me so much more happier.

The corners held more promise than I knew,
Around the other side, there was a nightmare or a dream
A dream is my received
I do not wish to leave, because
For once as I stay up past the night time usual
I am able to know I made it through a sadness
The strongest could not handle,
I am proud of myself
For I am the one who made it through
The corners of last night,
Where everything was so broken
I am alive, there’s something better for me tomorrow.

Roads are running away, they refuse to be my path.
The grass is dead on the ones I meant to take,
What beauty is gone, forever on another universe?
Our paths cross by accident, and I will apologize.
We will never meet again,
I know our strings will be cut.
High above the world is where we belong.
Little time, little anchorage.
I’m sinking so far, just like you said I would.
All I really wanted,
Was your arms around me
Lips to my forehead
You humming softly
My throat running dry
And I can barely swallow


But a smile shines on my chapped lips
I lose my breath, and my heart
It goes out of its usual beat.
And you
you
Pull me closer
My hands grab to your arm
So they stay in place
Please
Don’t let go
Because if you do,
The roads will push me away
Don’t you know?
There’s a casket waiting for me that I want to avoid
You’re my reason to stay,
But you’re slipping away

You created an illusion for yourself in which I refuse to sink my teeth into
Not ordinary, you are finding yourself just like the others.
Swim away and through the iceberg tipping, but never will you get far.
Breathe in, breathe out, and the air seems enough to suffocate you.
Your little spark, your potential
It seems to fade and fade.
You have your fairy tales, and there’s reality.
You realize there something more
Can’t sleep unless there’s something breathing in your room.
I hope you sleep well with the ghost of me
I hope you get through with the skeletons in your closet.

I begged for hope
I pleaded for mercy
But you said some things are better
When they find how to fall apart
I contemplated you and listed you off
But you said lists are better off unfinished
I begged for love
I pleaded for change
There’s more than I bargained for
You’ve turned out to have a broken bone
It took a place where your heart should be
I wanted love, change, mercy, and hope
But you spewed a ****** mess
You gave me hate, routine, ******, and sadness
For that I never saw your full potential
You shine bright with dull nostalgia
But you stabbed the ones you loved
You shine so bright
But your evil covers it up
You had shone so bright
But you all knew for the best

Your eyes are deceiving you
it's okay to be happy
and it's okay to be sad

Originality is making comparisons to the stars and watching the sky
Do you see how beautiful a sentence can be
Just by writing in the setting sun only a lie?

My emotions are pulling me different ways
When my monsters want to play, my lips want to explore
Endings are so ******* frayed, do you want to be me?
When you're in the sky, and your hands are on my waist
And it feels great, to be numb
No strings attached, you left me begging for more
I don't need you
I just need the numbness and the happiness

Sing until your lungs collapse
Let the smoke in the air surround you
Because baby, tonight, you're surrounded by maps
Your eyes are seeing everything in a different hue,
but it's alright
Now darling, music makes it all better
Sing until your head hurts
keep singing,
Keep running,
and now you'll know how it feels
to make reality a nice place to be

I believe having a relapse with a blade across your skin,
No matter how bad it is, there's scars to remind you
Remind you of the events that caused that scar
Remind you of how you felt
The scars keep you from feeling okay
I want you to know this, next time you think about it
Think of the way you'll feel when it's over with,
your skin will be ruined, and you won't feel anymore beautiful

When you think you know your footsteps,
Theres another road you have to follow
Another path, decisions to make, and it's a lot of trouble
I know I was stuck in a horrible place,
Where demons and monsters knew me by name and knew my address by heart
Childish fears, I'd crawl under my sheets to hide from nightmares lingering around  
Nothing was worth living for, and Tuesdays were a bitter resort,
It seemed as if blacklights filled my eyes, and I saw the places where others couldn't
The little stains invisible to others
And I wanted to keep to myself.
These are horrible things to feel, when you stare at the wall and think about
"No one would miss me if I took my life."
Turning my flesh inside out, hoping my eyes go behind my head.
Happiness was something I haven't seen in awhile
My favorite moment was when a smile was cut across my face
Looking in the mirror wasn't as hard to do,
But I'm trying to be happy,
not to bring others down as well.
My favors are being returned, and I believe I'll be okay.
Tragedy is still there, but I know I shouldn't worry about it.
Even though I still feel a little weight,
I know it'll be over with soon.