You draw me in with false promises, and forever let me down
You promise escape & happiness, but it just ends in a frown
Not from me of course, as I’m laid here snoozing
A constant disappointment I feel, so I carry on the boozing.

What am I running from? Anesthetised I lay
And coast through each and every hour, of the following day.
Your everywhere I look! Buses, billboards, even litter
Trying to draw us in with your intoxicating glitter.

Your so bloody acceptable, I’m a FREAK if I abstain
“Oh goo on kid, one waint hurt, stop being a chuffin pain”
BUT what they fail to understand, is at 1 it does not stop!
The moment that sip will pass my lips, I’m craving the next drop.
Or 2 or 3 or “fuck this shit, I’m off to the bottle shop”
In fear my stash will not suffice my seeming desire to flop.

Fast forward half an hour, and here I am again
Snoring like a pig, much to the families disdain
Iphone started, camera rolling, my daughter hits record
She watches Daddy comatosed, her memory stamped APPALLED!

“No goodnight kiss, no cuddles tight, no tickles once again”
Her hero lays before her, vest adorned with red wine stains
“What’s wrong with me?” she wonders “why’s he chose wine over me?
And my sis & mummy too, is he too blind to see?
Your consuming liquid memory thief, don’t forget us dad
Im learning all I know from you, is this how fun is had?
Or adult relaxation? Or when you’re feeling stressed!
Does drinking really do all this? WOW IT SOUNDS THE BEST!
But if it really is this good, then what you fail to see….
Is your family stood before you whilst you pass out on the settee!
I was a daily drinker. I would fall asleep each night drunk on the sofa... until 1 night...my daughter filmed me passed out drunk on the settee, snoring, belly hanging out, red wine stains on vest. I found the video the next day. The rest is history. 9 months sober now and never going back!
Gray Jun 7
My shirt is clean,
I feel as charming as a marine!

My shoes are shining,
I feel ever so redefining!

My hair is brushed
I'll never have to be rushed!

My teeth are healthy
This makes me happier than the most wealthy

Oh how I feel so blessed.
Trust me, I am not depressed!
One of my older ones I just recently found again.
sara Jun 5
I'm transparent like a window
but I'm prone to keeping curtains closed
to cover up the nudity of
my youthful, naked soul.

I used to be promiscuous;
my essence on my sleeve.
a charming laugh; a crystal glass
from which many a fool drew drink.

A chalice of life;
warm like cinnamon wine,
soft like angel's delight.
Beheld by every eye.

But it never felt right;
I was smoke off a fire
yet still smouldering coal.
Just a young, beautiful

byproduct of desire.
There's no smoke without fire.
Although, I tried to fan it cool;
the flames ran only wilder.

But as the old wind blows, it seems
a withered tree still grows new leaves.
A dandelion spreads its seeds
but they lie far away from me.

Now I move transcluently-
ultraviolet invisible ink-
I speak in soothing whispers;
they travel further than you'd think.
Iridescence is things seemingly changing colour on their own- I think we all have the power to grow and move away from our pasts.

I love how fire is a destructive yet cleansing force.
Madisen Kuhn Jun 3
who would have thought i would become so obsessed with clean? not
my mother, who’d nag me to pick up all the clothes scattered across
my bedroom nearly every day of ninth grade. we rarely saw the floor.
i’d sleep beneath books and laundry on my half-made bed. now i
scrub dishes, scrub counters, scrub the floor at night because i can’t
stand the thought of a dirty kitchen—little cockroaches scurrying
in and out of pots and pans. my home smells of lavender oil, a soft
mist, air cleansed by a pink-glowing himalayan salt lamp and plants
in the living room. now i put things away in drawers, close doors of
rooms that are the slightest bit messy. now i straighten books on the
coffee table, set the remotes parallel to one another, everything must
be in place. now i floss, wash my face every night, stare in the mirror
and repeat i am clean, i am clean, i am clean. now i burn my skin in the
shower, inhale the steam until my breathing is slow and my sinuses
are clear. i am clean, i am clean, i am clean. now i fold the laundry, stack
our clothes into two piles, his and mine. i make our bed, i organize
our shoes by the door, i kiss the man i love goodnight. i am clean, i am
clean, i am clean. i know what my father must think, i know he loses
sleep, i know there are holes in his tongue where his teeth have made
a home. i am clean, i am clean, i am clean. i know he wishes i still went
to church, wishes my boyfriend believed in a god, wishes i was clean.
i am clean, i am clean.
from my book, 'please don't go before i get better'
read here: http://bit.ly/pdgbigb
Sophie Watson May 28
I woke up covered in my own blood,

Metaphorically drowning.

I was late and he was sleeping,

“What’s that on your hands?”

“Disbelief”, I said,

Disbelief in your not-knowing.

Has it passed?

Has it passed?

Has it passed?

I think that was it.

Was that it?

Everyone knows,

I said it so plainly un-plain.

Social pariah, more evil than anyone knows,

More covered in blood now,

than I was before I came.

Although my skin now clean and pale,

My insides are flooding,

like unwelcome saturated riverbanks,

when there has been too much rain.

My mind has drowned.

More covered now, than ever before.

It won’t ever wash off.
Myrrdin May 26
She said
"It's been 3 years
Without wondering
When you'd finally
Go too far
When you wouldn't
Wake up again
If I'd never
Hold you again
If you'd choose
Substances over living
Over me
Over everything
It's been 3 years
Without me
Having to be afraid"
I said
"It's been 3 years
Without a good
Nights sleep
Of feelings things
I spent a life time
Avoiding
Experiencing pain
Without an escape
Learning to love
And to regret
Loving
It's been 3 years
Of being afraid
Of being alive."
when i was only 16 years old, yes i say “only” because there should never be a right age for this subject. i was only 16 years old the first time a razor blade touched my skin. i never knew what i was capable of. or that there was a place in my mind that was so dark. the first time was indescribable in the most terrible ways. i had no control of myself. the first drop of blood i saw rolling down my skin, was the start of a never ending addiction. ever since that night, my addiction had its bad days and okay days. no good days. because once you self harm, you never stop thinking about it. i started cutting every. single. day. not telling anybody about it. i don’t know why i didn’t. if i was scared to hurt the people i love or because i finally had a secret with myself. don’t think that you will just stick to cutting, because you won’t, months after i gave myself second degree ice and salt burns that left a forever scar. you will think that you will hate the scars but that couldn’t be any more false. they become part of you. if i did not have any scars it would drive me insane. i have gotten to a point where i do not feel like myself if there is no discoloration on my wrists. if your still reading, your probably wondering while i’m writing this. well i’ll tell you. don’t make that first cut. take it from someone who experienced it all. don’t do it. yes there is a release, but there is no release that can compare to doing well, and being clean for over 100 days and celebrating. from what i went through, it hurts my heart immensely for anyone else to go through the same. you. are. loved.
Spilt orange juice
on the counter.
I clean the mess
with a paper towel.
Wyatt May 13
When I'm tired of beating myself up,
when I'm sick of ruining the mood
in the middle of the night...
often I try to think of you.
You live so clean, so pure.
You're so elegant, magnificent.
You're beautiful and inspiring,
believe me this is the truth.
You've always caught my eye,
the way you shine unique.
How could I ever be like you
and a lot less like me?
I admire someone like her from far away. She's an inspiration, she's always caught my eye.
Yusof Asnan May 4
He came and wipe
all that there
was.
Like the harsh
waves cleaned the
beaches.
He erased her of
what has been
hurting her and
clean her new.

-HIY
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