I am still walking.
It feels like a miracle.
I am still walking.
There is someone sitting on the street and I walk right past.
There is someone sleeping in the snow and I walk right past.
There is a love I cannot explain and I still walk past.
I remain a machine because that I was raised to be.
But what I was created to be was human.

My life folds to the confines of black and white
No color is meant to be seen
My heart is jaded, eyes are faded
Grayed hazel rather than green

The color seems to have slipped
Red, yellow, blue
From every fragile fingertip
We're missing our hues

My life is black, or white, or gray
With every passing day, it grows darker
Every 'color', every shade
Spotting the difference becomes harder

Bring color back into my life
Bring color back into my eyes
Bring a rainbow
Destroy my endless life of black and white

It's stupid.
I'm this sad over love.
Why am I so caught up?
I'm supposed to be emotionless.
Free of my ties from you.
But I still see your face everywhere I go.
Haunting me in my dreams.
It's not necessarily your fault but I'm going to blame you anyways.
You made me this way.
Why'd you have to pretend to care?
Say all those sweet words...
The lies leaping off of your tongue and diving into my heart,
making me believe you were really the one.

I know you're supposed to be that thing
That thing that keeps me grounded.
That thing that keeps my feet on the floor.
That thing that keeps me from drifting away.
But lately I've been floating.
And I don't know if you know what that feels like.
It feels timeless
     and weightless
     and sunless
     and empty.
I feel empty.
My days melt to weeks and my weeks melt to months.
My body feels like a crisp breeze of air that I just can't inhale.
My eyes only see through a cloudy, dismal, forsaken lense.
And well gravity,
It's all because you seem to be absent.
Now I need you to understand that I'm not asking you to hold me down.
Because I'd rather float aimlessly than be trapped under your hold.
But I just know that if we work together,
We can create a beautiful compromise of flying and crawling
And I think normal people just call that living.
Don't get me wrong the blood is pumping through my veins so I know i'm alive
But if your lips can no longer muster the energy to smile
And your eyes can no longer muster the energy to cry
And if the forces of attraction are no longer attracted to you
Are you really living?

the worst feeling
is when you want to cry
but can't
and you are left feeling
vacant
emotionless
and broken

Music is the only thing
that makes sense anymore
its the only way
I can describe to you
the darkest parts of me
the texture of broken glass
encasing my heart
its the only way
you can feel the wires wrapped
around my lungs
feel the fire burning through my veins
lately
its been the only way
I can feel anything at all

My body is pale and chilled to the bone,
Everything I once was is long gone,
The light in my eyes have dulled slowly.

I no longer feel like the lively boy I once was,
Expressions of emotions seem so foreign.

Everything feels so hopeless,
I am unable to feel anything,
I am to far gone, to hollow inside to care.

I am a scum living inside the little boy they all once knew,
A criminal taking away all the things that allowed me to feel,
Now only the feeling of numb runs through my veins.

This is the outcome; all I have done to get better has just left me numb.

I can hear the drums still,
Understanding when to react and play the 'act',
Another day starting but I don't even notice.

I wonder sometimes if I'll every get better,
Maybe then everyone will return back to me?
But I silence those thoughts, and just through my sweater back on,
Its knitted with all the emotions I once was able to freely feel.

All there is left is this numb little boy,
In replace of the once brightest little star that was filled with such innocents.