and
i hate
myself
a little bit
more
knowing that
you love me so
and
i feel absolutely
nothing

how, I ask
do I care so deeply
so intensely
and yet, am incapable
of the simple act
we call

falling in love.

What I am,
Is not what you are,
Because unlike you, I never was human.
Never was able to really feel emotions, which you all adore,
Been called a demon for that reason, a monster which was deserted,
Emptiness, calm and drenched in the sorrow of never fitting in is what embellishes me, an ornament of true, cruel sadness, undetected.
And yes, I don't understand you, perhaps I don't even want to, knowing what humans are like, I accepted my fate of being alone,
I let my fingernails grow long and sharp to at least fit into the picture of a monster you have put me, because what else do I have left ?
A heart, perhaps which desires to take those under its wing whom suffered the same tragity, orphans with no place or rejected, abused.
And a body, carrying a thousand marks done by a knife, or these nails, in a cold desperate wishing to be normal at least for a day, to not be alone and deserted, with no one left to talk but a silly pen, a pocket watch which is about to stop ticking calmly, gently very soon.
An ember of light, triggers some emotions at rare occasions, which fade into nothingness as the day begins to face it's end, ah, phantoms
So, what I am,
Is not what you are,
Because I am...
A demon.

~ Umi

Death

Death is something I want
          But can’t bring myself to take
Love
          Is something I lost
             But can’t seem to let go of
And time

         Time is where I drift, lost
                Not knowing any way or
                               place I see

     Forever stuck in between

Keep it together
That's all you ever do
Say you have a breaking point
But you know that isn't true

Fake emotions all the time
That's why you never really cry

Pretend that you can assoicate
Last time you could was when you were eight

Now you are an outsider
And you're better off because you are