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S Smoothie Jul 2021
I knew to my core thought processes

Unthinkable but thought

A shock to the recesses of my mind

A bout of this world I once knew

I never thought it would not grow old

Its shiny, but icy cold

I thought I knew fear

I thought I knew hate

I thought I knew disparity and truth

I never knew it was a homophone filled with illustrious ironies

A brand of say

A brand of way

A brand of order

A brand of decay

I Knew a brave world,

Knew a status quo,

Alas there is something different

invading our psyches at will

Sitting upon the steps of our memories of a world we thought we once knew

But not you.

You're so different now

You almost act as if you never knew how it was

What ever the case, its normal now...
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2020
When God abandoned me I thought
That at first he must not have cared
But after enduring a world of pain
I realized he was never there
Its crazy how much i used to believe in Christianity compared to how completely opposite i feel now
Nylee Aug 2020
In the beginning
I didn't know of his existence
In the end,
He was the end of my existence.
Maja Mar 2020
there was just something about you
something I can’t place
maybe your sad eyes
and broken face

I felt something
when I saw you
I felt the pain
that you felt too

Somehow I knew,
that you knew it as well
knew of tears
knew of hell

I want to tell you
that it won’t always be that way
it does get better
it does, someday
you knew it too.
Dream Fisher Feb 2020
I grew up in a small town just like you,
Wandering the streets with nothing to do.
We had dreams of beautiful chaos
Only stopping to laugh off our lives,
Don't talk about the issues that keep us up at night,
Standing broken but whole in the right light,
Standing whole seen through broken eyes.

Remember the times we hit the highway
Flying fast, transitioning from the 81 to 80
Hoping we might just run out of gas
Giving us a reason to not turn back,
While listening to all the anthems
That made us miss a childhood we never had.
With tears in your eyes,
you turned the music down low
Meeting your solemn gaze
You begged me not to take you home.

I grew up in a small town just like you
Until the night we didn't turn around
In search of something new
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2020
I knew our decisions were misguided

And I chose to make them despite that knowledge

I wanted you and I to act in harmony

Needed to know every heartbeat pulsating from our two chests was in perfect synchronization
And I was right
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
I suspected this day was coming
Now that it's finally here
Realize I'm not ready
Face my biggest fear

I want to stop desperately
Seems I've tried a lot
Every time I am ready
Stubborn addiction is not

The drugs grab control of me
Steer me straight into a wall
Pull me back into the ditch
Doesn't matter how many times I go through withdrawal

I have learned my lesson the hard way
Much too often to count
Then again the hard way
The only way I've known about

Let the ocean take away
I drown in blue misery
Wash up on some greener shores
World that in comparison is easy

Do not smoke if you can't handle the heat
You're afraid of getting burned
Flames always steal a part
Once gone not always returned

I have given up on finding myself
Buried pieces too deep
Intention was to plant them
No harvest grows to reap

So remain trapped in a cycle
Strapped by only threads
Running from my demons
Tires me as sickness spreads

No one coming to save me
I've toppled overboard
Danced on the very edge
This is my reward

Consume me as I spiral down
Watch me crash in an explosion
Go enjoy the show
Not what I have chosen

When eyes can't stand my reflection
Monster staring back
Use to blur the edges
To smudge all that I lack

Time is always running
One minute after the next
Door to sobriety is always open
In the moment hesitating perplexed

Do not quit because I don't know how
I've done it once before
Daydreaming past recovery
Cannot remember what I did it for

When the silence starts mocking me
Following a great and heavy pause or two
Hold my hand tightly
It will pull me through
Its so hard to just walk away for good
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