When God abandoned me I thought
That at first he must not have cared But after enduring a world of pain I realized he was never there
Its crazy how much i used to believe in Christianity compared to how completely opposite i feel now
In the beginning
I didn't know of his existence In the end, He was the end of my existence.
there was just something about you
something I can’t place maybe your sad eyes and broken face I felt something when I saw you I felt the pain that you felt too Somehow I knew, that you knew it as well knew of tears knew of hell I want to tell you that it won’t always be that way it does get better it does, someday
you knew it too.
I grew up in a small town just like you,
Wandering the streets with nothing to do. We had dreams of beautiful chaos Only stopping to laugh off our lives, Don't talk about the issues that keep us up at night, Standing broken but whole in the right light, Standing whole seen through broken eyes. Remember the times we hit the highway Flying fast, transitioning from the 81 to 80 Hoping we might just run out of gas Giving us a reason to not turn back, While listening to all the anthems That made us miss a childhood we never had. With tears in your eyes, you turned the music down low Meeting your solemn gaze You begged me not to take you home. I grew up in a small town just like you Until the night we didn't turn around In search of something new
I knew our decisions were misguided
And I chose to make them despite that knowledge I wanted you and I to act in harmony Needed to know every heartbeat pulsating from our two chests was in perfect synchronization
And I was right
I suspected this day was coming
Now that it's finally here Realize I'm not ready Face my biggest fear I want to stop desperately Seems I've tried a lot Every time I am ready Stubborn addiction is not The drugs grab control of me Steer me straight into a wall Pull me back into the ditch Doesn't matter how many times I go through withdrawal I have learned my lesson the hard way Much too often to count Then again the hard way The only way I've known about Let the ocean take away I drown in blue misery Wash up on some greener shores World that in comparison is easy Do not smoke if you can't handle the heat You're afraid of getting burned Flames always steal a part Once gone not always returned I have given up on finding myself Buried pieces too deep Intention was to plant them No harvest grows to reap So remain trapped in a cycle Strapped by only threads Running from my demons Tires me as sickness spreads No one coming to save me I've toppled overboard Danced on the very edge This is my reward Consume me as I spiral down Watch me crash in an explosion Go enjoy the show Not what I have chosen When eyes can't stand my reflection Monster staring back Use to blur the edges To smudge all that I lack Time is always running One minute after the next Door to sobriety is always open In the moment hesitating perplexed Do not quit because I don't know how I've done it once before Daydreaming past recovery Cannot remember what I did it for When the silence starts mocking me Following a great and heavy pause or two Hold my hand tightly It will pull me through
Its so hard to just walk away for good
Stay your tongue to save discomfort
Stay your tongue and lose forever The chance to speak of whatever it was No forever lasts forever (4LINE)
John Mayer said it best. "Say what you need to say."
The Vision - All The Missed Conversations Avoided Before A Fathers Passing